Shatter

o...ok... I'm proud of him. I think Ryna would like him. She'd like his story

*nom* TAKE THAT

Same penalty, judge? The Crown thinks so.

Having the first University of Cosmerology

When are we starting the torture?

(Yer in a courtroom) Secure the defendant immediately. Restrain the defendant for the safety of the court and themselves. Maintain custody and restore order. Let the record reflect an attempted self-harm incident under supervision. Proceedings continue under restraint.

not yet but you could figure your way over

Objection. The accused is not responding to a charge. The Crown demands a charge of contempt of court.

May it please the Court once more, We now focus on the other offender, Ookla the Dokja who has committed an offence of equal weight and identical character to that already before you. This individual did openly declare that music is unimportant. This is a claim so reckless, so historically illiterate, that it constitutes an attack on the very scaffolding of civilization. This was not ignorance whispered in private. It was assertion. Assertion invites judgment. The Crown finds that this offence is not novel, but parallel. Where one subject spread corrosive noise, this subject denied structured sound altogether. Both acts undermine sense. Both propagate brainrot. Both invite correction. There is no material distinction sufficient to warrant leniency. Accordingly, The Crown formally demands that this offence be entered into the same record as the prior heresy. The Crown demands that the denial of music’s importance be judged equal in harm and intent and that the identical procedure previously describe be carried out in full, without alteration, exception, or softening. The punishment is not for cruelty, but for example. The execution is of the claim, not the flesh. The lesson is uniformity of order. The Crown rests.

May it please the Court, We are not gathered here today over theft, treason, or heresy of doctrine. We are gathered over something far more corrosive: the wilful propagation of brainrot. The accused, Ookla the Storyteller, did knowingly, repeatedly, and without shame utter the Forbidden Numerals. Those being the digits whose very cadence dissolves thought, corrodes attention, and replaces wit with reflex. This was no accidental slip of the tongue. This was persistence. This was repetition. This was defiance. Brainrot is not a victimless offence. It is a slow riot against language itself. It mocks memory, sneers at tradition, and trains the mind to clap like a seal at noise rather than meaning. Medieval jurists understood this well: when words decay, law follows; when law follows, order collapses. The accused did not merely speak nonsense. She normalized it. She spread it. She made the unserious unavoidable. That is why the crime rises above mere foolishness and enters the realm of public harm. The sentence requested by the Crown is as follows: On the appointed day, the condemned shall be brought to the market square at dawn, bound but upright, clothed plainly, with her crime read aloud by the clerk so that none may claim ignorance of the cause. She shall be subjected to lawful torment: not to extract confession (which is already secured), but to mark the seriousness of the offence. This shall consist of restraint and controlled suffering sufficient to humble, exhaust, and publicly disgrace, without indulgence or haste. The purpose is not spectacle for pleasure, but demonstration of authority. After the sentence has been visibly carried out and the lesson impressed upon the crowd, the condemned shall be led to execution. The Crown asks for death by lawful means, swift once commenced, carried out by the appointed officer of justice. The body shall thereafter be displayed for a short time, as was customary, to affirm that judgment has been fulfilled and that the law has teeth. Your Honour, mercy without correction is indulgence. Correction without example is weakness. This court must show that tradition still has teeth, that sense still rules speech, and that not every noise deserves repetition. Let it be known: we do not execute people for brainrot. We execute brainrot itself And we do it publicly, formally, and with prejudice against stupidity. The Crown rests.

Canada water reigns supreme. We drink it from the tap. And it tastes like nothing. Because water is tasteless.

No. Ryna is busy elsewhere.

2521. Murder the person who is messing up the numbers 2524. Yawn even more because it's even later and it will have more effect

*sigh* you know my stance on pineapple. 1. It's not made of pine 2. It's not made of apple 3. It tastes like neither 4. It's yucky

that... does not sound fun

Having read the whole cosmere and being a cosmerologist (yes. I made myself a degree. I am a doctor in Cosmerology.

2519. Yawn conbtagiously

Murder. (Hoid is incapable of murder. He physically cannot do it.)

Actually twice. Guilt.

2517. Stare at them. Don't blink.

I brush past you and surreptitiously replace the Sandwich with a fake sandwich. You're too busy watching the preparations for the match and do not notice. I then go to a public washroom and Elsegate out to my spaceship, and zoom off with The Sandwich. No one notices because I'm a sneaky boi.

but... Odium BEAT him. Odium outsmarted him. Taravangian

we need to ban Hoid Odium