Shatter

Ok. It's like a governmental program for minors with special needs. Here's what it says on its website:

“The Extensive Needs Service is a program that provides vital wrap-around services for children and youth with urgent and extensive needs in Ontario who have co-occurring urgent medical, physical and developmental complexities and/or social vulnerabilities. This integrated pathway helps streamline the process for children and families to access help in support of optimal health outcomes. The service is designed to reduce barriers to accessing timely, evidence-based, and trauma-informed treatment for some of the most vulnerable children in Ontario. This program is funded by Ontario’s Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Children, Community, and Social Services.”

Thing is, I'm almost 17 and a half. I'm gonna age out soon. I'm going to get transferred to a program for adults. I had my first meeting and I think it went well and was productive. 

I think I'm going to be transferred to Developmental Services Ontario, which does the same thing but for adults. I hate being treated like a child. I have very high-functioning autism and ADHD, but I'm too high functioning. I slip through the cracks in the Canadian healthcare system.

I had a really, really bad mental breakdown two nights ago. Just thinking, y'know, the usual. I'm useless. Nobody cares. I have nothing. No place. I am worthless. Somehow, I went to sleep but I'm still in that frame of mind, so yeah…

I've learned that I do do self harm. I hit myself and pull my hair and hurt myself. I just hate this. Why?