Awesome work! It's great to have all this information in the same place, and you are absolutely right about the wiki. We'll figure out where to put this when it comes back online. A couple little technical niggles.
Since Kaladin is of the second nahn, and is apparently capable of marrying Laral, I believe that the second nahn must also be able to marry lower dahn lighteyes.
There's a tad of a problem here. You say that the dahn/nahn levels are the same between parents and children. Yet when Kaladin sees Adolin, he recognizes the knots on his uniform as designating him of the second or third dahn. So this either means that the familial relation thing doesn't apply to dahn rank, or that Dalinar, and presumably the other highprinces are second or third dahn. I guess it's possible that only a king can be first dahn, but that would mean that there had been none in Alethkar for centuries, so I'm not sure what the right answer is here.