kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

Struggles with depression, anxiety, stress, self-worth, emotional neglect, extreme life changes, three younger siblings, the loss of close family members, loneliness, moderate solitude and disconnect from the outside world for about five years, bad communication within relationships (which in turn caused them to fall completely apart), a very sick mom and dad working long hours for nineish months, and etc all forced me to grow up much faster than I wish I could have. 

But I also realized that because of this, I have grown so much, and it's equipped me with really important skills and knowledge. That loneliness and disconnect, as well as social anxiety, have all helped me really connect with people now and build meaningful relationships.

It also means I've learned not to waste time on people who don't make me feel good (...with very few exceptions). If they don't respect me and my time, then they don't deserve it! And that's a really valuable lesson. The amount of time I've spent trying to change myself to fit in everybody's mold is more than I've ever spent being who I want to be. And while that's scary, it's so much better than letting people push you around. I was that person for a long time. I didn't know how to end toxic relationships, I didn't know how to see that they were damaging, and above all, I always thought that I was in the wrong even when I wasn't. It's super valuable to me now to be able to detect red flags and back out of something that isn't good for me, but it's also as important to be able to have the opposite--the ability to see when I may be harming others.

Another thing I've learned is that if you can't change something, the best thing you can do (this not only impacts yourself but the people around you) is be positive and do your absolute best to get through it. It may be hard, and it may change you, but it's so much easier to let the water carry you than to fight against it. And that is CERTAINLY not to say that if you're being mistreated or you're struggling with mental health or something like that, you should give up. This is more aimed at, like, school lol. Because we (in the US, at least) are legally required to go to school, we should try and get the most out of it that we can. Build relationships and friendships, learn as much as we can, and prepare to go out in the world. Yk? I can't really put this one into words, but I've come to peace with a lot of things that I would have totally fussed over in the past. And it's made life a lot better and a lot richer!

I've also recently (within the past year-ish) found a tremendous appreciation for my parents. A lot of kids my age don't have that, and I'm glad to. There's a LOT I could say on this account, but I'll just keep it at this. Parents (generally; the vast majority of them) care so much for their kids. Like they seriously brought you into the world and taught you nearly everything you know. It's insane.

OH AND ANOTHER THING I LEARNED (though this was several years ago) IS THAT ADULTS MAKE MISTAKES. Isn't that crazy? Like, as kids, idk if it was just me but i used to think that adults were perfect. And I was like "oh man, I can't wait to be a perfect, independent human being" when in reality, adulting is a lot of mistaking and chore-ing and working. Shoutout to all adults out there, y'all are incredible.