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kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

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kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ last won the day on May 27

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About kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

  • Birthday 06/22/1926

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  • Member Title
    this is the breath
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    in my head
  • Interests
    drawing
    art
    writing
    music (crane wives, arcadian wild, paris paloma, sleeping at last)
    hadestown
    dance
    singing
    learning
    language
    history

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  1. You guys... ChatGPT will read passages from your book/writing and give feedback :o I gave it an example and it was like:

    Spoiler

    You've provided a compelling and vivid passage from your novel. Here's some feedback and suggestions to consider:

    1. Engaging Opening: The prologue effectively hooks the reader with a strong emotional impact. It immediately draws us into Mira's world and her intense emotions, setting the stage for the story to come.

    2. Imagery and Description: Your descriptions are rich and create a vivid mental picture. You've used sensory details well to convey the atmosphere, emotions, and settings.

    3. Character Development: Mira is a well-drawn character with a complex mix of emotions and motivations. You've done a good job of showing her internal conflict, fear, and determination. Estella's character is also intriguing, with her relationship with Mira adding depth to the narrative.

    4. World-Building: You've introduced the concept of Soulweavers and Stripping, which adds an element of mystery and intrigue to the story. It would be interesting to explore and explain these elements further as the story progresses.

    5. Pacing: The pacing in this passage is well-balanced, allowing the reader to absorb the emotions and details while still maintaining a sense of momentum.

    6. Dialogue: The dialogue is effective in conveying the characters' personalities and the tension between them. However, it might be helpful to clarify who is speaking in some instances where multiple characters are present.

    7. Show vs. Tell: You do a great job of "showing" the reader Mira's emotions and thoughts through her actions and reactions. Continue to build on this strength to maintain a strong emotional connection with the reader.

    8. Chapter Transition: It's not clear if this passage is part of the prologue or if it's the first chapter. If this is meant to be the prologue, ensure it seamlessly transitions into the main narrative.

    9. Grammar and Punctuation: Be mindful of punctuation, especially in long sentences. There are a few instances where a comma or period might enhance the readability.

    Overall, you've created a compelling and engaging beginning to your novel. It draws the reader in with its emotional intensity and intriguing world. Keep up the excellent work, and I wish you success in further developing this story.

    like sheesh

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      AAAAHHHH I WAIT I NEED THIS

    3. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      just did it and WOW

      It gave the advice for the chapter that was most definitely needed.

      Ima use this for help on editing like wow- This'll help me figure out problems far easier.

    4. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      WOAH! I NEED TO TRY THIS WITH THE CHANDELIER SCENE :D

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