kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

Thanks for the advice and support, you guys. 

the only problem is… he doesn’t care what I do, he never will. He will always be my biggest bully. No matter what I do. And trust me, I’ve tried so many things. He won’t stop. 

Even if I physically was the bigger person (which will never happen, since he’s 6’ 3” and has a large frame. For reference, I stopped growing at 5’ 6” and I’m not particularly muscular.), he wouldn’t stop. Part of me thinks maybe he just sees me as another of his buddies to horse around with, but… *sigh* it couldn’t be that because he really means some of the stuff he says or does.

and it’s extra frustrating to compare my situation to how he treats other girls. He used to bring his girlfriend (now ex) around, and I had never seen him so… kind or gentle before. NEVER. At least not that I can remember. 

So why doesn’t he treat his sisters with the same care?

Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but back to what I was saying. Even if I was the bigger person, he’d use his words and maybe even still his body to hurt me. And @shortcake, I’ve tried your “thank you” tactic, but he just responds “you’re welcome”, because he knows that as hard as I try, I will always be sensitive and weak, and he will always get under my skin. 

He is my older brother. He should love and protect me. Why doesn’t he? What’s wrong with me? 

My dad watches our exchanges, and I know that if things really did get bad, he would protect me. He’s already as fed up with this kid as I am, maybe more. My brother does not have a good relationship with either of my parents, really. There will probably always be a rift in our family because of the way he treats me and my mother. And that rift will only grow.

@The cheeseman, thank you. I’m glad you read my writing! I just don’t know… the situation doesn’t really seem bad enough to get outside people really involved yet. I think that could escalate it. 

@TheAlpha929, I probably could take self-defense classes, and my parents wouldn’t really care (it’s actually something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now anyways), but I have so much on my plate already—I don’t know if I could fit that in. And I think beating him up would just make him be angrier. Make him lash out more. 

Idk. Thanks for y’all’s advice, I’ll take it all in stride. It’s just… a complicated situation. Lol. 

I've been in pretty much the same situation for... who knows how long now. My brother is kind of the worst sometimes. Maybe it's better because I'm his brother not his sister, but I just do everything in my power to stay out of his way, wondering why he has absolutely no respect for me like he does for his friends (and like you noted, his girlfriend.) He treats my parents (especially my mom) like trash, and I have to pray that there will never be a day when his girlfriend or others never see that side of him.

I doubt my brother is as bad as yours though, because I genuinely love him, even when he'll never see the two of us as equals. I'll always be beneath him. But even still, we went to a concert together a few months ago, and screamed the lyrics of our favorite songs together. He came crying to my mother when he broke up with his last girlfriend, he didn't want to talk to anyone except her. Even when I want to hate him, I know I won't be able to hate him forever.

If there's one thing my brother has taught me, it's that people are complicated. Terrifyingly complicated. And... I don't know my own brother. 

Beyond that, I will be forever grateful that he's shown me how my relationships with my siblings could have been if I'd been that type of person. Me and my younger sister have a better relationship than I ever could have imagined when we were younger, because one day I decided I couldn't be anything like my older brother.

Anyway...

@Kajsa :), just remember that you are an amazing person and that he's the problem here. Not you. I wish I could help somehow. *hugs*