kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ
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I do not want to hurt his feelings.
But I can't keep doing this without making everything clear.
SpoilerI'm done with the stupid jokes, with the passive agression and the nagging, the desperation. He needs to find a different girl, someone who will actually make him happy, who can actually look at his face.
The crossed-out-but-still-sent messages are infuriating.
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wow, 25 messages just for you to say 'thats so great'" what else was I supposed to say, donut boy? "Oh wow, it's great that you found a different illustrator since I have so much on my plate"? Because we all know you would take THAT the wrong way."ykw else is a red flag?
being a narcissist" pfffttthahahaahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. sure, I'm probably a narcissist and a pessimist and all that stuff. I know that. And I'm working on it. but he CANNOT complain about red flags. no SIR."
remember when you read my book and gave USEFUL feedback" excuse me, mister, when was the last time YOU gave me useful feedback, instead of laughing at everything I've gotten wrong?I'm done TRYING for him.
I'm done CARING about him and his problems and his stupid little stories.
I'm done being his best friend.
Maybe I should just tell him to leave me alone.
Would I regret it?
Probably.
But...
He needs to realize that in his efforts to make me like him, to get me to be his, he's pushed me away and made me angry with him.
So angry.
He nags and begs and pushes and whines and ignores me and then throws a fit when I don't read his messages within 20 minutes.
I do not want to hurt his feelings.
But I can't do this anymore.
What do I do, wise, knowledgeable people of the Shard?
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Kajsa, here is what you can do. You can carefully explain that you can't continue your friendship with him, say that if he wants to be your friend again he can actually care, he can stop annoying you about everything and he can stop being a hypocrite. Of course, don't say it like that. Say it a little more gentle, if you can manage it. Or, maybe, start it with "I didn't know how to say it in a gentle way, but I wanted to, I really did." That is the most extreme thing you could do, the most brutal. There are better ways, definitely, but that's the first one that crosses my mind.
For a less brutal and harsh approach, you could say "Hey, I really like you, but... I don't think we can really be friends anymore. I wish you luck with everything and I hope you can find good friends who really understand you. I just can't right now. I hope you understand." And, if he continues to go like that and all, maybe move on to the harsher words if he keeps insisting and nagging and all.
Others will probably suggest better things to say, but you get the gist of what I'm suggesting, I hope.
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What Thaidakar said was very helpful!! Here's just a few more notes I have that might help. You don't have to use this.
If you want to break away from him in a kinder, soft, & more gentle way, I suggest the following:
Tell him, in a more casual, friendly way, that you'll be going on a break for a bit and won't be able to text as frequently. He'll understand that, I'm sure, especially as it is summer and all that. If he pushes for why, don't respond, he'll think you logged off or had something else to do. Don't specify when you'll come back from the break.
Then, drift away. If you see him in person sometime soon, stop hanging out with him or talking with him as much. Sit with other people at lunch. Distract yourself from him, etc. If you will see him at school/afterschool/camp sometime later, do the same thing. Disassociate yourself from him.
Don't come back from that "break." Now, I'm not advising you to 100% ghost him on text, but if you texts you every now and then, reply curtly, using minimal words, and just simple responses. Slowly, he'll stop texting you. Don't start up new conversations or in any way signal that you are open to becoming his friend again through text/social media.
As long as you enforce the drifting away, it will happen pretty quickly I promise.
SpoilerAlso, if you ever want to become friends again later, this method enables you to reconnect later and call it all a mistake and even make it seem like the drifting apart was half his fault too.
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