Shadowed

has no one i follow posted an su since saturday, or are my notifs broken?

so, you know how sensory overload exists?

is emotional overload a thing? like, when you feel so many emotions at once that you get overwhelmed and can’t really function?

(for context, i’m currently curled up in a corner of a music practice room on the verge of tears because playing music makes me feel things and i’ve played a lot of music today [yes, i know, it’s kinda a pathetic reason for being basically nonfunctional right now but whatever])

anyway- how’s everyone’s day been? (or how was yesterday? am i timezoning right-?)

EEEE PICCOLO

behold the magnificent flutiness 

(to be clear, it’s only the piccolo that’s new, i just took a pic of it next to my flute to send to my friend for size comparison)

ITS SO SHINYYY

can i have a small rant about something real quick?

today was the first day back at school. so, of course, we had to have an assembly.

the teacher who was leading it talked a lot about failures and how it’s okay to fail and it helps us grow and learn, which i agree with in principle.

BUT THEN he went on to show us pictures of people opening the envelopes with their exam results (idk what the american equivalent is but there are two sets of important exams you do when you’re 16 and 18 in my country) and he basically said ‘failure is okay but if you fail to get the grades you need for what you want to do in life then that’s not good enough and you should have tried harder.’ He also literally used the words ‘probably deserve it’. 

like i’m sorry WHAT

what a great way to encourage people taking those very exams in the not so distant future!

anyways-

how’s everyone’s life been since I last went on here? i’m going to try and be more active  

guess what

so i’m in paris on a school trip and we’re meant to be coming back today.  we were meant to be in calais to get our ferry at 6pm local time, except we had a car/coach accident (everyone is fine and safe, don’t worry) so we were sat in an overheating, un-ventilated coach on the side of a roundabout for an hour and a half while they sorted out insurance and stuff. they had police as well since we were a coach full of 35 kids which got crashed into by an old man, and 3 people (me included) were freaking out/having panic attacks. so that was fun.

but anyway that led to us missing our ferry…

so currently it’s 8.30 pm and we’re about to get on a ferry that leaves at 9. we’re gonna get back home at 3am and i cannot wait.

idk why i’m posting this, i’m just scudding frustrated at the whole day and how we’ve been late for literally everything for the past four days.

TW suicide

what do you do when one of your besties starts texting things like

”see you in another life”

”i guess i’ll move on”

”i’ll miss you when i’m- *changes subject*”

”thank you for everything but i can’t do this anymore”

(and some other stuff which i’m not gonna put cause it might make some people uncomfortable)

context: me and a few of my friends are in paris on a school trip (!!) but not the person texting those things. their boyfriend broke up with them because apparently they were forcing their suicidal thoughts on everyone and it was making him uncomfortable. meanwhile, me and two of our friends are literally hundreds of miles away trying to figure out what the scud is going on back home, and then we start getting the suicide texts.

um ok i’m rambling now so i’m gonna just shut up and post this but any advice would be much appreciated.

guys i need your help

i’ve been asked to do a solo in the concert of one of my windband director’s choirs, 2 solo pieces plus basic accompaniments for some of theirs. 

what do i wear???????

i have like a month and a half so it’s not urgent (oh scud i only have a month and a half to prepare helppp) but i have no idea since i hate all dresses and want something interesting but formal without being too ‘out there’ or brightly coloured. (i’m kinda picky with what i wear lol)

any advice would be appreciated much thank yous

… we’re ignoring how inactive i’ve been recently …

anywaysssss

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! 

*happy nonbinary lesbian noises*

to anyone who might be reading this who is gay, lesbian, bi, pan, omni, poly, ace, aroace, trans, enby, demigirl, demiboy, genderfluid or ANY other queer identity, out or not - i love you, i support you and i’m proud of you for being your true self. if you’re questioning, or still struggling with self-acceptance or acceptance from others, you will get there. it might take weeks, it might take years, but i believe in you. you deserve nothing but absolute support and acceptance from yourself and others around you. and if you’re not getting that, then i’m really sorry. but, and i can promise this, it will get better. you got this :))

i also think i should take this opportunity to mention all the brave, strong queer people who came before us. without them, we would not have a month where we are free to be ourselves. we would not have civil rights laws protecting against homophobic discrimination. we would not have the incredible community that we have now. i will always be so, so grateful for every sacrifice they made so that i could be writing this post freely and without judgement.

also - i’m not saying the system is perfect now. unfortunately, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and general discrimination against the queer community still happens, and i’m sure most LGBTQIA+ people on the Shard will have experienced it from someone, at some point in their lives. but we’re making progress, and we’re changing the way people view us, one glittery rainbow at a time. ✨  

you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are valid as you are.

*throws gay frogs*

I have time on my hands, and am very bored.

Double lucky  

I hath been swallowed by the great Shard of Inactivity.

I need saving from the other great Shard of Schoolwork (the Vessel of which is named Biology), who has been encouraging Inactivity and preventing Activity from rising victorious once more.

Consider my brain officially fried.

No one is allowed to start a new topic in this forum. Ever.

Okay, um.

I wrote a song. It’s called Let Me In.

And it’s really bad, and I haven’t recorded anything, and I know the melody in my head but I cannot sing for the life of me so I’m trying to persuade my friend who can sing to do it, but she insists she can’t sing even though she can sooooo it’s a work in progress.

Against my better judgement, I’m posting it here. Could y’all maybe… y’know… tell me where the storming awful bits and the slightly less storming awful bits are? Maybe? Thanks!!

*deep breath*

What do you think? *nervously pushes forward*

Sooo, I might have embarrassed myself in front of all the popular girls by crying because I finished Hero of Ages.

OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO SADDDD

Okay.

I’m reading the Hero of Ages for the first time (yes, I haven’t read it before, I started with Stormlight okay) I’m a little over halfway through.

ANDDDD

I KNEW IT I LITERALLY PREDICTED IT

I’m very happy.

So I have a rant that I really need to tell someone

but the content might make some people uncomfortable (references to suicide/self harm (not me, someone else, I’m fine I promise))

and I’m not really comfortable using PMs (sorry) (I don’t mind group chats like the RP ones I’m in)

where should I put it?

(if there’s nowhere I’ll find someone irl because if I tell no one I’m going to burst :[ )

Um, this is slightly random, but I’m curious.

How old do you all think I am?

the other day someone thought I was 10 years older than I actually am, that’s why I ask  
 

Happy 2023 everyone!! That means:

- only 1 more year to SA5 (eeeeeeee)

- loads of the activities and things I signed up for in 2022 happen this year which I’m super excited about!

- the secret projects!! 

- another year of complete insanity and craziness 

Happy new year!!

Happy Christmas everybody!

It’s a bit late for me (8:30pm-ish) but I’ve been busy with family and stuff.

I know own copies of AoL, SoS and BoM, which I’m very happy about aside from the fact that I’ve only read the Final Empire. (A large hole that I am working to rectify .)

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope everyone has/has had an amazing day today!! (And if you haven’t, sending hugs your way )

I changed my display name to Shadowed, after Ookla season!

I didn’t really like MysticalShadows and wanted something a bit shorter, and Shadow and Shadows were already taken, so here I am as Shadowed  

Quick question. When does Ookla season end? 

why do I feel like i’m gonna be that one person who still has their ookla name when everyone else has changed back  

Guess what came in the post today 

Three new flutes for me to choose from as my Christmas present!! We hired them from this specialist woodwind shop in the big city near where I live and we keep one to buy and send the other two back. I’m really excited because they’re open-holed (they literally have holes in the keys, it’s considered more advanced because you have to cover the whole hole with your finger else it doesn’t make a sound) and I’ve never played one before, aside from the 5 seconds on my teacher’s.

Not sure if that really warrants an SU, but you’re getting it anyway. I’m excited okay 

AHHH

Okay, so.

Me and this girl have been best friends since we were babies. We were really really close until about a year ago, when I had a big argument with the rest of her friend group but we still stayed friends. Gradually we sort of drifted and stopped talking completely. I assumed I was nothing to her now, since she’s one of the ‘cool’ ones and I am most definitely not.

AND… she just texted me to ask whether I wanted to start talking to her againnnnnn

here’s the thing: I have terrible friends and really missed how we used to be. But I thought that was a daydream, nothing more.

BUT SHE JUST TEXTED ME…

I’m on a slight emotional high right now. Someone send help before I destroy the entire planet in my happiness 

I… went for it.

I’m Ookla the Shadowed, nice to meet you! 

Excited for my first Ookla season