In the lobby of the entrance, Tal was reading a book. It was quiet, peaceful. It was home.
Wasn't it?
He shook his head, trying to keep reading, but he suddenly couldn't focus on the words. What did stories matter, anyway? Was there any point in them? He'd never cared about books before he came here. Then he'd fallen into them, letting them become a safe haven, a distraction...
A replacement.
A replacement for a person he'd never get back.
He slammed his book shut, breathing deeply, trying to keep the panic at bay. No, no, no. He wasn't that person. He didn't need to remember, not here. Here, he was just Tal, just the doorman. He didn't need more than that, didn't want more than that. He knew it. But...but that didn't take the hurt away.
Tal took another breath, opening a drawer and revealing dozens of keys. Keys in every color, shape, and size. Magical keys. Ordinary keys. Keys carved from wood, or something that resembled it. Each a work of art, in its own way. Each able to open a door, to give a home to a person who had come to the Clinic seeking one. He felt the cool metal of the key that hung around his neck. A promise that he belonged. A promise that he was safe.
A promise that others were safe from him.
He ran his hands through the drawer before eventually closing it. From another drawer, he pulled a map. Unfinished, but still extensive and up to date. He stared at it for a long moment, then put it back and stood up. A walk would clear his head. Maybe some chouta. A reminder of what he had found, rather than what he had lost. Picking up his book, Tal smiled and began to wander the place he called home.