Edema Rue

I am watching you live a life I can never have. 

I see you take everything I've ever wanted and complain about it.  

I mourn as you rip all my dreams into shreds, tearing them as you callously ignore their splendor.

"Sometimes, you see everything you've wanted, and sometimes, you see everything you wish you had and it's right there, right there, right there in front of you. And you want to believe it's true. So you...make it true." I can't make it true.

But you, somehow, can.

And yet you can't see the power in that.

You can't see the power in having the ability to live any life you want, without fear.

No matter. 

I am more than those dreams.

I am more than the life that you are stealing.

I am more than that,

Even when you are everything I am, only better.

I am more, and I still care.

I will not be bitter

When you are better.

I will not be angry,

When you beat me.

Unless...

Unless.

Unless you use it to break me.

Because I love you,

And so you have to power to hurt me.

I care about you.

And so you can shred me into pieces and ask why I don't cheerfully arise.

But that's okay. 

Because I'm a little bit stronger now.

A little bit better.

And I still love you,

Even though you've forgotten me.

There is room for you in my heart,

And there always will be.

So take my life,

And come back to me when it breaks you,

Because I know the pain you've stolen from me,

And I have balms to help you heal.

As long as you want me,

And even when you don't,

I will be here.