It's not just in your head. I've felt the same things before. I know that he's there guiding us. If I were to say he weren't I would be lying and I would know I'm lying. I simply can't deny it. I also know that things like anxiety, stress, depression, ptsd, all those fun mental things are really hard to deal with. I don't think I would be able to without Christ. I have been all the way at the bottom. I wanted to give up. I wanted it all to be over. And then I felt the same things you were. And not only that a very very simple plea from a prayer was answered. Someone texted me. Right as I was at my lowest right I was ready to completely and totally give up. They texted me with a reminder that they cared and they wanted to help but so did someone else. That there were my Heavenly Parents, and Christ. And that they loved me and wanted to help. And there was an invitation to pray. So I decided to try and to pray. And to just let everything out. Everything I was worried about and trying to deal with pretty much on my own. I barely started the prayer before an immense feeling of love and hope and peace just washed over me. It was like a giant hug even though there was no one there.
The thing is I can tell you all this but I can't tell you or decide for you what you should believe. So I guess what I would say would be to try praying. I know it probably sounds and seems stupid to try and talk to something that you can't see and you aren't even sure if you believe in. But try. And after you finish just sit and listen. Don't go do something else immediately. Give time for a response. And if you don't get a response or feel anything after the first time don't give up. God answers prayers in his own time and way. Not ours. So if nothing happens the first time maybe try praying once a day for 3 days or a week. And don't try and rush anything, be slow and thoughtful. And if nothing happens after that, I don't maybe keep trying or come back and try something else. Its up to you. But always remember that we are all here for you if you need it. We love and care about you. If you need anything let me know.