InfiniteInsanity

So um....

I had the sudden realization that when school starts there will no longer be people holding me accountable for my eating habits and then they will probably go down the drain very quickly.

Um... I'm not sure what to do. I don't really want another reprimand from my mother and I don't want my father to be involved this time. I'm also not sure I really want them to know how bad of an issue this is...

I... Yeah.

I had an interesting experience today.

So band camp is this week. And on Tuesday and Thursday we have section lunches. So you spend time with your section during lunch. For guard we go grab lunch wherever and then meet back at the school to play games and just sort of talk. And today I went with one of the other captains and a rookie and we decided that we were gonna get Culvers but first they wanted to go get some drinks from a little tea bar. And I was okay with that. I just figured I wouldn't get anything. 

Well when we got there they like checked to make sure I didn't want anything. And I said I didnt. And then they asked me if I'd ever had boba before. And I haven't. So they offered to buy me some. And I told them about how I don't drink tea or coffee as part of my tell but I told them I would try it if we found something that wasn't tea or coffee that I could have boba in.

And they helped me find something! And then they made sure it wasn't awkward for me. And they said that they realized how it must be hard for me to be religious in places like guard (most of them aren't religious and are the kind of people who insult religion and such) and wanted me to know that it was okay. 

It absolutely made my day so much better. And honestly I felt more comfortable with the guard in general even though it had only been two of them that I had been with and who knew. And the drink as really good. 

I hate the physical therapy stretches I have to do. They just kind of remind me of how weak and incapable I am at the moment.

BUT

My room used to be my brothers. We switched around rooms earlier this year. And my brothers have those sticky ninja things. And theirs are way super sticky and once they're up they are up for a while. Apparently they had some on the ceiling in my room when it was theirs. Because I was laying down to do the stretches and I noticed little pink dots from the sticky parts of the ninjas. The ninjas left their mark.

This has made me inexplicably happy.

I realized why I'm so bored.

There's nothing truly frustrating for me to be trying to solve.

Like all the things I shouldn't be doing right now are things that I have to put effort into.

So everything feels too easy. 

And I can't go try to learn the things I want to. And get frustrated there.

So life is boring. 

And because it's boring I'm bored.

And that is unacceptable.

But I'm not sure how to fix it.