The Aspiring Archivist

I know about all of those reasons, but sometimes I just don't care enough to think about them or let them register. There are things like that that I do, and they can help for a little while, but they all just feel temporary and sort of meaningless after the fact.

What is meaning but something created by humans?

And... does there have to be a meaning? Do things have to all be a part of some big thing? I know that feels weird coming from the guy who always is going on about grand designs, but, well... not everything has to be there. Not everything has to mean something. And, in that, it makes it far more meaningful to me.

Everything is temporary and, from a lot of people's point of view, meaningless. Every single little thing is, in the end, temporary.

But that's the thing. Think of a song sung by a bird that you will never get to hear agin. Think of the life of someone you knew who you loved, but who you may never get to talk with again. Think of a delicious food that you at that you will ever eat again because you simply can't find it.

All of these things are meaningless and temporary, but they are still worth experiencing. They are still inherently wonderful.

I know that probably didn't help, but I'll continue here with something that might.

If you can't walk, crawl; if you can't crawl, roll; if you can't roll, inch forward as much as you can. If you can do none of those, fight for the ability to do those things. It's all about doing your best.

Pro tip: don't focus on what you're doing wrong, what you've done wrong and what could go wrong. Focus on what you've done right, what you could do right and how it all would go right. It's hard, I know, I truly know, my friend. I've been there more times than I could explain. I've been in the hard moments, though perhaps not as hard as you are describing. Nonetheless, I can emphasize and at least get extremely close to knowing it. 

If everything is meaningless, so are your mistakes. So are your victories. But, then, why do people think they have meaning?

Because, in assigning it meaning, it gets a million times more meaningful to them. Importance is whatever the storming rusts we want it to be, for the most part. 

If people assign meaning to things, then, well then, why not start valuing those victories. Why not start discarding the failures like dirt coming off in a shower?

Another tip: find what's relaxing and focusing to you and do that thing as often as you possibly can. Do those things that help as often as possible too. It may not work at all at first, but as you continue to do as many of the things as you want to and can, then I can bet that it will at least get a little bit better.

At least a little bit.

That inkling of an iota of things getting better can mean more than the moon, the sun and the stars. It means that it is possible to get better. Those brief moments of getting better are not a sign of happiness being temporary, they're a sign of happiness existing. They're a sign of the possibility of being there always.

This response was a bit scatter brained, but I need to go finish Biology, so I can't edit it at all.

I think about my own psychology a lot, so this is stuff that's fine to mine before. I have my understanding of what gives something meaning, and I recognize that the perspectives I've mentioned are pessimistic. But sometimes I just don't feel the meaning, and sometimes I have trouble believing in the more positive perspective. I don't know what to do about that.