Bird Furious

OKOKOK GUYS I ACTUALLY LAUGHED THUNJING IF THIS 

SO

There’s this elite restaurant and whenever something bad happens in the area, a vampire in full garb, hair slicked back, face makeup shows up and saves the day (and then takes a lil sip of blood from the bad guy, but this vampire isn’t contagious). Well, the bad guys are threatening to do smth bad if he doesn’t turn himself in to them.

This random waiter in a suit with perfect posture shows up and claims that he’s the vampire. 

“…you look nothing like him.” 

*slicks hair back*

”buddy, you need to leave.”

*produces caps and poses*

”Look, we all know you’re not the vampire; go away”

*very, very, very long sigh* *flips up collar*

”OH MY GOSH IT’S HIM HE ACTUALLY SHOWED UP”

I laughed hard. Embarrassingly hard.