I get the feeling, but trust me that you're not. We all hurt other some people sometimes, both intentionally and unintentionally, and that's just a part of life. But there's two things I've learned:
1) You don't hurt others as much as you feel like you do
2) People in your life care about you more than you feel like they do. I don't know all the people in your personal life, but I know the people on here, and know that we care about you.
I don't know what your exact religious beliefs are, but what I personally believe is that:
1) Your feelings do matter to God (Psalm 34:18, for one example)
2) Yes, we'll always have suffering in our lives. But that suffering has a purpose. From a religious perspective, that purpose can be so that we can grow in faith, and learn to trust God better. But religion aside, those hard times can be beneficial in surprising ways later down the line. Yes, having depression right now sucks, but in the future, you'll be better equipped to help others close to you when they suffer from the same things, because you've been in their shoes.