Thaidakar the Ghostblood

There are times when you feel like you're down, like you're beaten to pieces, like you can't ever get up, like nobody loves you, like you'll never be enough for everyone around you, that they're all better than you, that you're worthless.

Well I'm here to tell you you're not.

You are priceless.

You are amazing.

You may not think you are, but you really are.

You are spectacular.

You are a human being who deserves to be loved.

You are someone who deserves to be heard.

You are a part of a community that loves you, despite your failings, despite your mistakes, despite what you've done, you are welcome. 

And that's part of what I love about the Shard. 

Second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth... we get to have another chance here despite anything we've done. Despite who we've been. We're all accepted here.

If you need community, if you need love, if you need someone to talk to, if you're feeling lonely in the world, there are a bunch of strangers ready and willing to be a friend to you, to me, to us, to everyone. 

When you can't find people in the real world, us on the Shard can back you up until you can find those irl who can support you.

Good night, my friends, my community, my siblings who I've never met (*laughs in theories*), my people.

And, especially...

Goodnight, you wonderful members of the Shard.

Where've you been, my friend? It's been a minute.

My gosh

There are some days when you just feel beyond burnt out.

That's right now for me.

My gosh, burnt out in so many ways.

I'm tired mentally, I'm spiritually not feeling that great (I don't think I've done anything wrong lately, but I haven't done anything very good either. I haven't really been acting on my faith and even the bit of knowledge that I do have. Anyways, back to the rest of it), I do not want to have to do another math problem this summer, even though I have to so that I can be able to catch up on it. 

I just kinda wanna throw math out the window so that I can focus on spirituality, family, writing and reading. 

If only.

Then there's also the fact that my family moved to this place on the promise that we'd have a job here. We have our dream house, we have all we could ever want, we have our perfect rooms, we're near family we love and some people we knew a few years ago... it's absolutely perfect. Except for the fact that apparently the company that my dad started working for decided that "Yo, we're shutting down the place where you would be working. If you wanna keep working for us, go move to another city away in a few months!" 

I just wanna curl up and sleep for the next decade, praying that I wake up in the millennium so that I don't have to deal with all the madness in the world right now.

Sorry that y'all had to read this, I kinda just needed a place to vent since I don't know if I wanna shout at my family for an hour about something that I know is going to end up alright because-warning, spiritual tangent about my religion and such-I've felt the spirit telling me it's going to be alright and a feeling of peace with it. Sometimes it's just hard for me to accept the Spirit, accept what it's telling me. I love it, I love that feeling of peace, I love following promptings, but... I'm too logical of a person for my own good. With Satan's nudging, I immediately head away from what is being suggested to me towards the more logical, more straightforward path. And I wish that I followed what I'm being told. I wish that I could do it. I want to do it, I've done it before, I've felt that Spirit, I've felt that peace. I just don't feel that peace as much as I thought I was. I'm trying my best, I'm doing what I can, but I'm still a foible human being. It's so hard to accept that when I've seen myself following promptings, doing my best through Christ, having killer scripture studies (in like an awesome way), associating with others in very positive ways, being in the world but not of the world.

I see what Heavenly Father wants me to be, I see what I want me to be, and I desperately want to get there, I want to be able to be there and I'm trying to find the strength to continue that journey to get there. It's so hard sometimes when the things that I'm being prompted about are hounded by Satan and distorted by my own wants. 

*blinks* I thought I was closing that- ah well. Anyways, if you've made it to here, good job. I'm sorry y'all had to read me rambling about my problems.

I wanna go to bed, but family is still here, people are still awake, I can't go to sleep yet...

Cya, everyone. 

Good night.

Happy birthday you awesome person! I hope you come back someday!

I was just listening to an older (as in like 10 months ago) Shardcast (the 17th Shard's very own podcast, check it out it's hilariously awesome and I mean that in a good way) about adaptations for the Cosmere and realized I should probably clarify something I've said before in relation to diversity in media. (And a note at the end about something about myself that I'm trying to correct that might become relevant of an adaptation comes)

Time to launch into it, this might be a longer one or a shorter one, all things considered, but here we go! 

The post I refer to is an SU about the diversity and representation in the MCU, Miss Marvel in specific. (I haven't seen it, btw, what I said is based on what I've heard and some vids I've watched and the general vibe I've been getting) Feel free to disagree with me on any point I made there or any point I'm going to make here.

Diversity in casting is wonderful, and in characters too! In fiction and non-fiction set on Earth, it gets dicier. that is why I'll dump on things like Ms. Marvel while letting other things slide like Rings of Power (I'm not going to talk about Rings of Power whatsoever here, at least in reference to diversity. They were trying to do something good, albeit if not in the best handled way). When it comes to diversity in casting, I'm all for it, as long as they can act as the character in a way they should be done, or in accordance with what the director is trying to get to. That is wonderful! I love having diversity in casting. 

Diversity and representation in stories altogether is also wonderful, as long as it's naturally done in a way that will represent those groups well. That is absolutely wonderful and should happen if the creator in charge of the media can pull it off in a way that represents the group well. It's important to me to eventually be able to do that myself, I really want to get to the point where, in my own writing, I can represent groups that I am not a part of. I hope to be there, and I want to be able to consume media that does that well too. 

To continue the overall theme so far: The Cosmere adaptations should include every ethnicity, every group, every body-type, every eye color (see what I did there? Stormlight *wink wink*), every straight person, every queer person, etc. As long as they can portray the character well without betraying how they were performed in the book. That is what is really important to me, and what I think everyone will agree on. Anyone can play the characters we know and love in my opinion as long as they do a good job of it, and that part really depends on the individual who will be watching the entertainment that's either being created or is going to be created about the Cosmere. 

It is abundantly important to me that people understand that anyone can portray these characters. It doesn't matter if they don't look exactly how you thought they'd look. It doesn't matter if they identify with something you don't think the character would identify with. I think that's something most people on here will agree with and I hope that will be more and more discussed as potential adaptations are coming nearer and nearer to the space. 

I think that wraps up mainly what I wanted to talk about. Well, except for one thing.

In the Shardcast epsiode that I'm currently listening to, they've mentioned casting threads and how some people are unintentionally racially biased in how they fan-cast characters. I'm soooooo guilty of that. I wish I wasn't, but I am. Yes, I know, it's bad and I've been more diverse with my casting (or I've tried to be... still guilty of white washing in fan casting unintentionally), but I am, and I'm sure many others are, trying to be more diverse with who they suggest. Diversity, as I've said above and others will inevitably say in the future, a good thing that helps more people be able to do what they love, not just one group, or one ethnicity, or whatever. It can only, in the end, be a good thing. 

In the end, I think diversity and representation are two good things that are awesome if done right in the media space. 

Congrats for making it this far if you've read all of it! As always, if you found any of this offensive or down right wrong, please pm me or mention it in the responses because I would love to know what it is and either explain it or edit it out of my SU. 

This has been the latest entry in "Thaidakar has an addiction to writing only when it's not his books." 

Have a great day, everyone!

Awesome username. Happy birthday!