RedBlue

The fact that Ishar retrieved his honorblade just about when he started experimenting - after all this time - does suggest to me that the honorblade plays an important part in whatever Ishar is doing to make the spren manifest like that. The idea that it may involve Oathgates is interesting - the problem is that, unless I’m forgetting something, there are no Oathgates close to Ishar’s base in Tukar. He could be transporting the spren from some other country’s Oathgate, but that would be both a logistical nightmare given the spren’s conditions, and also it would be really difficult to keep secret. Ditto with using Cultivation’s Perpednicularity. I’m leaning toward the theory that he’s using Connection manipulation to do it. Maybe severing the spren’s Connection to the Cognitive Realm and/or forging a Connection between them and the Physical Realm.

Hi! I’m new to the group so I haven’t read the first chapter. Also, romance is not a genre I have much experience with. But I’ll give my thoughts anyway. I liked the interactions between the characters. Seeing some of their personality, their relationships and hearing W’s thoughts about them were the most engaging parts for me (though I thought W’s breakup wallowing was a tad much in places). The science talk about the flower went on a bit long for how technical it was, especially if the science doesn’t end up mattering later. Magic flowers can just be magic and cool. Or if the science is important, maybe find a more interesting way to do the info dump. The chapter’s pacing is slow, but I wouldn’t say that’s a problem necessarily. I appreciate getting to understand the situation and know the characters before stuff starts happening. Small stuff: pg 1 - ‘the cancer became metastatic’ this might be a dialect thing, but I have always heard this phrased as ‘the cancer metastasized’ The capitalisation on Am.’s name is inconsistent. Later on it’s written with a small a. pg 4 - ‘that I don’t want to ask where it came from’ awkward phrasing pg 8 - ‘If your flower does anything cool, let me know’ this is kind of a weird and confusing thing to say. Is that intentional? pg 9 - right after W thinks ‘I refuse to let them pull me into their mess’, she goes right back to stewing about Ni in the next paragraph. It makes her look a bit silly and indecisive, in my opinion. pg 10 - ‘genetic mutant scans’ should this be ‘mutation scans’? A few more minor things - W seems very hung up on finding romance. I know this is a thing that some teenagers do, but what does finding romance mean for her specifically? What are her emotional stakes in this? I think I might be more invested in her and her angst if I understood that better. Also, I feel that I don’t completely understand An’s beef with Ni. He had a falling out with Br. Why is this An and W’s problem? Are they close to Br? There could be more going on here maybe?

Hello! I’m new to the group so I haven’t seen chapter 1, but it’s pretty clear what’s going on from reading this chapter. Overall thoughts: The plot comes across as quite tropey. This might be a matter of personal taste, but I felt like there wasn’t a hook. The plot is moving, but I’m not sold on it yet. What makes this story special? The characters are a bit two-dimensional. I assume from how he is presented that Au is our protagonist, but he seems very passive here. He tags along while Mr G does all the work. This makes Mr G more interesting than Au in my opinion, which is probably not what you were going for. I also feel like I don’t know anything about Au beyond that he loves his family and is in way over his head. That makes it hard to be invested in Au and his problems. The Count comes across as moustache-twirly. It’s a bit cartoonish. I think his dialogue is 99% of the problem there. Mr G is the character who works best here, for me. He’s competent, resourceful and drives the plot for this chapter. It’s interesting that he is willing to put his life at risk to make sure Au escapes with him. His relationship with D feels more fleshed out than his relationship with Au - I’m not completely sure what Au means to Mr G, beyond the fact that he’s important to him. I think the dialogue does have some issues. Part of it is that you have some modernisms (eg ‘so-called’ and ‘okay’) slipping through otherwise old-timey language. Part of it is punctuation - you might want to change up some of those commas and full stops. (That problem creeps into some of the prose, too). Another reason it feels off to me is that characters often straight-up state what they feel or want instead of reacting organically. This might be another matter of taste, but I also felt there was a problem with tension during this chapter. Au and Mr G move from one bad situation to the next very quickly, with no complications or reversals. We are told that what they’re doing is risky and that Au is scared, but everything they do works as they intend on the first try. By the end of the chapter, it feels like they were never in any real danger of failing. It killed the suspense for me. Small things: pg 1 - ‘a voice that Au oddly recognised’ and ‘Au became silent’ both awkward phrasing. Maybe ‘fell silent’? pg 2 - in Count’s dialogue, saying ‘I don’t appreciate...’ and ‘I’m not so ruthless...’ feels stilted for him to state these sentiments directly. pg 5 - ‘his servant also’ awkward phrasing pg 5 - ‘opened the door slowly and peaked in’ I think you mean ‘peeked’ pg 8 - ‘down the backside of the hill’ back side is two words or it means butt You could use ‘far side’ instead pg 8 - you’re missing a “ on some of Mr G’s dialogue pg 11 - D’s name sticks out. I know it’s Italian, but the other names are exotic-sounding enough that running into a guy named D seems weird. pg 14 - ‘spent the last ten years smuggling’ is this something D should be saying to a man he hasn’t seen in 20 years? Also, D repeats himself a lot about his retirement. Unless it’s an important plot point, I don’t think it needs to be hammered in quite that much. I hope that helps!

Hello! I’m new to the group this week, so I realise I’m jumping in at chapter 6 and not the beginning. I read your plot summary and I’ll try to pick things up as I go. Overall: the chapter was solid, read well, and was interesting. There were a lot of proper nouns that didn’t mean much to me, but that’s probably because I’m starting partway through. Even with all the space stuff I have no context for, the stuff happening to O was easy to follow. I don’t know what importance Ard. has to O, but I get the feeling that this is a big deal. O’s romantic interest in B came across strongly, so I’m assuming B will be back. B’s sass is very good. I like her. I thought the romance aspect maybe came across a bit too strong in places, given that O has more urgent things to worry about than hot nail polish lady. The plot is happening to O rather than her actively doing things. This is not necessarily an issue if it’s part of her arc, but it might become an issue if she stays this passive for too long. Also, at the end of the chapter, I’m not sure where O is emotionally or in terms of danger. A bunch of really bad stuff has happened that she doesn’t know how to deal with, but if Ard.’s contact details have fallen into her lap, does this solve her problems? That’s the question I would have going into the next chapter. As I read: pg 2 - ‘pleas for help were very anti-hero’ - anti-hero seems like an awkward term here. ‘Unheroic’ maybe? pg 4 - ‘stepped out of a dated painting’ is dated the right word? Rest of B’s dialogue is chattier and more casual. pg 9 - ‘this being didn’t secret st’ I think you mean ‘secrete’ pg 10-12 - I notice that O has latched onto B very quickly for someone she’s just met, especially if O is only just learning to accept help. The new alien B takes her to seems okay, so it was weird to me that O was so stuck on the idea of keeping B around and asking her questions.

I read that scene in Edgedancer differently - I think it was less a matter of Nale seeing proof that his actions were futile, and more a matter of him having a brief moment of sort-of lucidity due to Lift speaking an Ideal near him. Like how Taln had that lucid moment at the end of Oathbringer. I could be wrong, of course, but if Nale is as far gone as he seems, I don’t think he is bound by his own justifications. He is driven by whatever the Herald insanity is doing to him, not by the logic he pretends is behind it.

Agreed. The Skybreakers we see in the books aren’t very good at the whole justice thing right now, but I love the idea of the Order. It’s great fun when people have cool powers and big swords and all that, and hitting bad guys really hard with awesome magic feels good. But I also like characters who can take a step back, understand that rules exist for a reason, and refuse to get carried away. I hope we get to see some functioning-as-intended Skybreakers at some point.

I assumed that the Champion’s nine shadows was a reference to the nine unmade.

Only 50 to 100 stars? My brain can’t decide between thinking ‘wow that’s tiny’ or ‘wow that’s huge’!

This made me think: how much would change if Winzik were caught in one of his lies? His coup relies on people being more afraid of humans and delivers than they are of Winzik. Even if Cuna and Morriumur did prove definitively to the Superiority that Winzik is lying about Spensa’s actions, would that be enough?

Is Nale bound to that agreement? I thought that Odium could only agree on his own behalf. If Odium loses, he has to order his armies to stand down. The Fused would have to stop fighting. I don’t think Nale considers himself or the Skybreakers to be part of Odium’s forces, so presumably they would be at a loose end. If Odium wins, it appears to me that Nale would get to do whatever he wants. He isn’t affiliated with Dalinar, so he’s not bound by the terms Dalinar agreed to. If Odium pulls some loophole shenanigans and everything changes, then all bets are off. That’s how I interpreted it. Maybe the plot will work out in such a way that Nale’s choices wouldn’t have mattered much anyway. But I don’t think it’s an entirely moot point.

Certain magical abilities can definitely be achieved via multiple different magic systems in the Cosmere. (Future sight, language interpretation, healing, etc.) I’m not sure what you mean by different types of magic users using the same mechanics. They all use Investiture to make stuff happen. But the specifics of what they can do and how all seem very different. I think Nightblood is a good example. He’s kind of a Shardblade, but by way of a different magic system. And the result is that there are similarities between Nightblood and regular Shardblades, but also important differences.

I think you’re right about Nale not being open to actual logic. His arguments about obeying Odium/Singers all sound like post hoc justification to me. Nale claims that he is striving for consistency. That gives him an easy out if he’s challenged over the situation with the Listeners. Does his logic not make sense? Well, that’s because he’s being consistent! It’s not that he’s abandoned his principles. He needs to keep supporting Odium’s side, because that’s what he was doing before, and he’s being consistent! I think the only way to get Nale to switch sides at this point is to fix the Herald insanity problem itself.

I thought Design was great. It was good to have a character who can push back on what Wit says, and their dynamic is really fun. He can’t pull off a comedy duo act by himself!

That’s right - we know from Szeth that honorblade healing doesn’t fix wounds from Shardblades. At all. Assuming that Moash’s eyes don’t get better over time, I suspect that the blindness is a spiritual problem rather than a physical one.