Aeoryi
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Everything posted by Aeoryi
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statistically it is likely, I suppose. But then if I'm trans then why do I keep on doubting myself if I am? I was also advised against reading it... I don't remember why exactly? Something to do with transmedicalism? It's hard to remember exactly where that was from but it'll always stick with me There's a lot of things before I was trans that I feel like I could frame as dysphoria if I felt that way, like it could be considered dysphoria, but then it feels like a reach, because after all, everything is tinted through a tinted colored lens. But it's gotten so much worse after and isn't it supposed to be better though like shouldn't being trans be better than not being trans if you're trans? Why do I now have MORE issues than before? I'm just worried they won't notice, or they'll think it's like, schizophrenia or something
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ok after a very brief break I am back It just doesn't seem that simple as "well if you want to be transgender you are" That's the issue
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It could be mauchusen's syndrome which is a real thing I read the section about being transgender (the font was really small though) maybe, but I'm concerned what if it's just me making myself hurt when I hear that name, not actually it hurting and it also seems like I'm making a big deal out of something that shouldn't even be a problem too like why can't I just live with it like I did for the last 17 years or so The thing is if I feel horrible then at least it'll have some legitimacy enough so that my parents have to do something and then maybe they'll understand. Spite is my strongest emotion, after all but what if I am cisgender what if I am destined to be forever sad
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What if other people know me better than I know myself that could be the case it was the case before what if I'm deluding myself into believing that I'm trans when I'm actually not? Like surely ordinary cisgender people go through phases and question things. That's human nature. What if I'm just one of those people? Yeah but those are mostly because like other problems are being amplified cisgender people have problems too Like what if I'm faking it for attention? What if I just end up as a miserable cisgender person in 1-2 years from now and cringe whenever I think back to the time when I made my entire family use a name I thought was cool?
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I think if I asked them to use my name they would. What other choice do they have? It still feels like I'm forcing this onto them though and it feels bad I can't wait that long if I'm being honest things have just been getting worse and worse and worse It'd be ideal but the thing is trying to meet in the middle with something like that is admitting that she's right and then the question of just waiting until uni is harder to answer I don't even think I'll last nine months if I just wait and do nothing like I'm actually going to collapse or something and things will go poorly what if I'm making it up to run away from other problems though what if it's all in my head what if they're right and I'm not actually trans
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recency bias, sunk cost fallacy, you know what I mean What if I'm not trans and I'm just a cisgender man like everyone else says and I'm just bound to grow up and be ugly and discontent with everything over things I can't change That kind of idea
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what if it's not me What if it's fake
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there are still links to other variations of that site within that site https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/ https://turn-me-into-a-guy.com/ https://euphorbia-milli.notion.site/euphorbia-milli/Turn-Me-Into-A-Non-Binary-Person-4710c60a76a54347932fca656fb602dc if this helps
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I'm out to nearly everyone in my immediate family and I want them to use my chosen name but I'm afraid to ask them to because what if they think it's stupid or what if they think I'm forcing it on them and what if they don't use it even if I ask and it just makes it feel worse Sorry
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you should :3 if you're questioning I hate my deadname so much and I hate that I can't change it because nobody but me thinks that I'm trans
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did you look at the site I linked youuuu (or any of its sub sites)
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... someone pressed the button I think...
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imagine if we turned you trans... tehe
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Greatest site on the planet
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https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
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do I recommend the website
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yeah the online stuff actually matters a bit because my dad basically is extremely superstitious of anything that originates online which unfortunately includes me I think I've told him too much for me to say it's not from the internet though. My parents are just going to keep on thinking that they would've known if I was trans no matter what I say or do.
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... I really don't want them to think it's something I picked up from the internet... Also it feels like silly to say online stuff has any presence on real life stuff
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oh that's awesome Ok so technically I've only "declared" it like 2-3 months ago, but I've like, transitioned online for over 3 years and never changed back
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She does want to support me but she also really wants me to wait and idk if waiting is a good idea but hrt takes time to get effects anyways and it's probably better to start sooner than later
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I feel like I'd be ridiculed for wanting the effects of HRT.
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She... Teaches biology at a high school and like it's not like she doesn't know what hormones are But idk if she actually knows what transgender HRT refers to in particular
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I don't know if I can I just have times where I lock myself in my room and cry for hours instead Imo if my mom was on board she'd make sure my dad was too, so I don't know if that matters She thinks there's nothing I can do to transition now so why bother, essentially in her mind.
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oh yeah so basically both of my parents know that I'm trans. My mom wants to support me but really wants me to wait ~9 months for me to transition in uni instead and my dad doesn't believe that I'm trans at all and I can't really change that. I kinda regret coming out to either of them as they have done nothing at all for me but they both know But either way neither of them are actively opposing me at the very least, but I need parental consent if I want to get HRT which is basically the issue
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I'm worried about confronting my parents (which will need to happen soon) and I also have an appointment with my GP about not trans related stuff but I *could* bring it up there even though I promised my parents not to
