Aeoryi

I guess I don't get to know why

i cant keep losing people and just watching

i said this would never happen again that i would never let this happen

no.

text

Topics:gender If you do not feel comfortable with any of the topic(s) listed above, read no further. I will not spoiler the text in this blog to accommodate for you. This is your only warning. Unfortunately we don't ever get to be pure, you know. Because there are people out there who influence us and who guide us. What does it mean to be trans? The definition is easy enough to find: Someone who's gender identity does not align with that assigned at birth. But that's just a word salsa Being trans isn't about just being different. It's about a journey with many steps, one that can't be skipped. Admittedly, the way I looked at being trans has evolved over time. Originally, I presumed I had the courage to simply become a dynamic force and get straight to presenting feminine, and wearing feminine clothes. I thought that it would be simple, getting through the steps. But over time, that warped into something different. I couldn't become a dynamic force, because I was shaped by the social structure around me. I could not even alter my gender expression a bit for fear of others noticing. So it became a waiting game, like a spider in a web. I never once wore any gender affirming clothing outside of locked doors, and I never once used a different name outside of tightly controlled spaces. And there are so many other changes, like how initially I focused on how good it would be later on and now I only focus on how I can make my position slightly more inline with who I am. Gender isn't really a clear concept to me either. I found that androgyny is more comforting to me than hyperfeminine styles, even though I consider myself transfeminine. It became a representation of a position where I would merely be more happy. Whether it aligned well with labels became completely irrelevant. There is a part of me that worries that when I encourage trans/cis people to question their gender or affirm their gender or guide them with getting started that I am detracting from this vital journey of self discovery. I really hate people who impose things on others, whether or not it is in the best interest of that individual. And I don't want to become someone like that, because I took an oath to myself that I would never become those people that I hate It is incredibly hard to tell when you're overstepping a line, because they are not drawn well. In the same way, there is a part of me that wants to share the joys of being trans with the world. and then there is a part of me that needs to remember that I don't get to decide when other people take their journeys it's hard to show restraint sometimes, especially since no one rewards you or even notices what you don't say[/s], which is arguably harder to figure out that what you do end up saying. It takes a lot of discipline, a skill I am attempting to improve. That's enough for now.

I hope it's not short I like my character

"Dude, actually just $#%! off," Nora wrote as Bellstrum, invoking the swear filter whilest quoting Deception,"If you want to be a useful hacker, maybe stop posting links on the world's most obscure message board and look at something like, idk, a fan-made discussion board for a well known fantasy author or something. Or maybe try to be less irritating with your methods" She watched as what she presumed was the anti-spam quickly deleting all of the posts made by this new user while she was typing it. "Why'd you come here?" Bellstrum replied, quoting the post from the newcomer, "What brings you to Blackweb?" Before sending, she notices this, but doesn't comment on it. "Maybe it's just another Fell alt." She muses to herself.

"@288B22 Don't mind edgy "decepticon" here", Nora wrote, "He's just trying to get you to click on the links in his signature, because he's too stupid to figure out how to hyperlink it in text instead. Just go to user settings and disable signatures- trust me, it'll be better for you" She sat back in her bed. It was super comfy for some reason, and was kinda cool, like the kind you only get by doing a lot of work first before actually trying to rest. "Jee, I hope this guy's the new Fell," she said softly to herself, "We really need some more spice on these boards."

yes, it probably would cover it. but idk. Something holds me back. maybe it's my gender identity. Or maybe the possibility of being separated from my meds (both ADHD and HRT) yeah a lot of people say something similar like it was important for recovery yeah I kinda do no don't have one. haven't had counseling for weeks either. they would make me go the ER almost certainly. guaranteed. The issue is that the world still turns when you're in there

Nora couldn't last even five minutes without having to look at her phone. It wasn't common that people found their way to blackweb. She opened up her previous PM with NotAfraid07, or "Nalfred" as she called them, and started typing away again. nalfy, I know you're watching. any thoughts? haven't had a new user join since... Fell, I think? Haven't had as much controversy since Fell either. Besides, why would anyone come to blackweb to ask for horror recs lol? She hit send.

Brushing her hair aside, a petite girl dressed in black tapped furiously at her phone. "idk who you are" she typed out, "but there are definitely horror elements that make a good story." She continued this train of thought into her mind, before continuing to type away. "Most horror games and stories tend to be from a first person POV, but the thing that does it best has to be Réalisez-Moi." She glanced it over once again, then posted it. Her username, Bellstrum, displayed next to the forum post in her vivid green "community supporter" color. It wasn't related to her real name, Nora, but it was almost signature to her at this point. She let out a sigh of relief, then put the phone face down in her lap and yawned.

I mean my mental state has gotten worse it appears whenever I encounter adversary I resort to considering self harm or worse.

oh yeah I do too (recently)

yeah but unfortunately I had to drive back home I'll rp It's more scary with a proper licence cause you can screw things up real bad and it'll be your fault The gm has additional information

sitting in a parking lot in the rain, relaxing. There's something unparalleled to it. I feel so carefree

never considered myself anywhere close to wise nor have I ever thought that people might actually care what I say

Interesting lol

for good reason I cannot

god I still need to drive home

maybe I should start a blog...

That's good I kinda didn't. eh idk but I'd be willing to try to try rp again It's such a children coded book I found a website with it in French and english The little prince is at times childish but obscenely wise and idk you remind me of that sometimes

I would have a lot to talk about but idk if anyone would give chull dung about it ok

But astroid B612 is! — Les hommes de chez toi, dit le petit prince, cultivent cinq mille roses dans un même jardin… et ils n’y trouvent pas ce qu’ils cherchent. — Ils ne le trouvent pas, répondis-je… — Et cependant ce qu’ils cherchent pourrait être trouvé dans une seule rose ou un peu d’eau…