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Everything posted by Going_North_cal
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Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Made the choice to watch one of those tiktok compilations of all the really sad really heartwarming ones, you know?
So now my anxiety is going at it, and I'm writing to get these feelings out, and to make the scenarios stop.
And it's bringing back some memories, some unpleasant ones, and dammit but I'm really scudding sad now.
So I uh..
I wrote something.
Pretty sad, pretty depressing. Based off my personal experiences, past and current.
Hope it helps anyone who needs it.
Spoiler“Do you have a story?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s your story?”
“My story?”
“Yeah.”
“My sister died. Suicide. She was my best friend. And it broke me.”
“How did you recover from that?”
“I didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never recovered. I will never recover fully. I was far away when it happened, I saw it coming. I helped as much as I could. I shouldn’t have left, that’s for sure. I vowed, afterwards, that I would never leave again.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Every day. Every damn day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.”
“Do you have friends who’re there for you?”
“I do.”
“Do they help?”
“They do.”
“Do you know anyone who’s veering towards the path your sister took?”
“I do.”
“Are you trying to help them?”
“Absolutely.”
“Is it working?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is there something you wish you could say to them?”
“Too many.”
“Try something.”
“Don’t… don’t think it’s over because the past year has been absolute crap. Don’t think it’s over because no one at school cares to look your way. Don’t think it’s over because there’s only 3 of 8 billion people that care to ask how you’re doing. 3 is better than none.”
“That’s some good advice.”
“Don’t think that just because very few people care about you, that no one will miss you. People will miss you. My sister had nobody. Absolutely nobody. Except me. And I did all I could. And it still wasn’t enough. She reached out, she tried, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t blame myself. I don’t blame her. I blame people.”
“What do you mean?”
“People are absolute pricks. People will leave you in the dust without a second thought, because you don’t fit their vibe, or you don’t match their beliefs, or they just grow tired of you. I try to not be people. It hurts to call myself a human being, because most of us are absolute assholes.”
“Yeah.”
“I vowed never to leave anyone. Not after my sister. I will not be leaving anyone ever again. I will sacrifice my entire life for theirs. To see them succeed. To see them live.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah. Nobody should have to hurt alone. Ever. And I know you’re probably thinking, ‘but I am alone, how can I fix that? I don’t know anyone who can help.’ Well, you’ll have to start somewhere. The path to healing and recovery is long, and hard. But one of the good things about people? They’re strong. Stronger than anything. You’ll get through this. And I’ll be here to guide you and help you every step of the way.”
“That was beautiful. Thank you.”
“Thank you for having me.”
If anyone ever feels like they need to, PM me. I'll try and get back to you ASAP, because I'll be here for you.
I'll take you under my wings, help you recover. That's why I'm here. To help.
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[AUDIO LOG MP-3: DAY 3]
*Begin Log*
(Sounds can be heard of someone fidgeting with a cassete player. The supposed sound of a cassete being loaded in and the lid closing plays. A button is pressed, and whirring is heard.)
Man 1: *cough* Day, uh, day 3 inside this.. this place. Food is uh, still around, but it's running out. I'm not sure how much was meant to be here, anyways.
(Sounds of stretching fabric and a can bangs against something else made of metal. At this point, the man cursed, and could be heard rubbing his arm. Presumably, he banged the can, and maybe his fingers, on perhaps a metal shelf the can was on)
Man 1: Ow... damn, that hurt. *shuffling* There is a uh, a guitar here. I don't know how to play.
(The man paused here.)
Man 1: Hm. Listen, if anyone's out there, or if somebody comes across these tapes, could you look into this place for me? I do not know what this place is, but it messes with you. The longer you're here, the more things you see. Just this morning, I woke up and there was something like a bear or something.. leaning over me and growling. But it was all bristly and black. I don't know what it was. And.. and I can sometimes hear voices, coming from the halls outside. Childrens voices. Singing.
(Shaky sigh from the man. He is audibly scared.)
Man 1: It's terrifying. I'll check back in tomorrow, hopefully I can find a way out of here.
*End Log*
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If I started posting my music on spotify, would y'all listen?
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bro ur entire account is an absolute VIBE
