Going_North_cal

“tell me you love me.”

“i love you.”

her arms tighten around me as she says it, and my head is pressed further into her chest.

“i love you,” she repeats, “i love you, i always have loved you, and always will love you.”

i take a deep breath, letting my body sink slightly, allowing myself to be held and not feel anything. the physical weight of my stress is lifted for a time as she holds me, and i begin to cry softly.

“there is not a moment ever,” she continues, “when you are not loved.”

my tears drip, staining her blouse with dark splotches of my sorrow.

“i know sometimes it feels like you’re alone,” she whispers into my hair, “and that you can’t take the weight of the world all by yourself. but believe me when i say, that you don’t have to.”

her hands gently move up and down my back, as i softly sob into her.

“i know you feel inadequate,” she says, “and imperfect. and ugly. and worthless. and like you can’t be loved.”

she puts a finger under my chin, lifting my head to look at her.

as gentle as a feathers kiss, she wipes away the tears as they fall.

“but,” she whispers, “you are loved. you are perfect. you are beautiful. and i love you. all of you.”

she plants a kiss on my forehead, then pulls me into a tight hug.

“thank you,” i mutter, “i love you too.”

“i know,” she says.