@Hoiditthroughthegrapevine your boons and banes are absolute art. They are, in my opinion, the best part of this thread.
You get your pancake maker, and you can print images on the pancakes. Everything about the images and the pancake maker themselves, are perfect but the pancakes spontaneously combust when syrup is poured on them, so you have to enjoy them without any of that heavenly tree sap. Also, the pancakes are super dry.
I wish for the ability to decide that I want to just sleep in for the morning and there would be no consequences.