Channelknight Fadran

Fadran: Noms on Knight.

Knight: Fires ketchup into Fadran's eyes.

F: Retaliates with mustard grenade

K: Nuclear warheads of relish begin raining 

F: I call in a the fourteenth air brigade to carpet bomb Knight with marshmallows

K: THE VERY GROUND BENEATH THY FEET BECOMETH UNTO BARBECUE SAUCE AND CHOCOLATE

F: THE AIR AROUND YOU BECOMES PIXIE DUST AND HOT COCOA MIX

K: THE AIR AROUNDETH YOU BECOMES FUN DIP MIX

F: Chokes

K: HA!

F: You... fool...

K: Pauses

F: You should've... gone... for the head

K: NO--

F: A head of cabbage is launched from a catapult and smites Knight in the face.

F: And... from the edge of the battlefield

F: In the dawning silence

F: Comes a single voice:

K: I give this man my condolences once I have rubbed the cabbage off my face

F: Accept your defeat, and I might let you live

K: I...

K: ...

K: I yield

F: Very well. I accept your surrender

K: Noms on Fadran

F: HEY! TRAITOR! Noms on Knight

K: Noms on Fadran MORE

F: NOMS ON KNIGHT MOST

F: WINS

F: DECLARES VICTORY

K: ɴᴏᴍs ᴏɴ Fᴀᴅʀᴀɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ

F: Looking wistfully into the distance I would have shared pancakes with you, my brother, if you had but the patience to griddle them