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NameIess

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Everything posted by NameIess

  1. NameIess
    This lawsuit went Nowhere.
  2. NameIess
    Subversion’s lawyer pointed out that it would harm Subversion’s business, which depended greatly on the royalties from Nameless’ books. Subversion wondered how anyone could be real, pondering the mysteries of narration.
  3. NameIess
    I throw a grenade to trip you up and then grab the sandwich and seal it into an everything-proof box so that no one can have it.
  4. NameIess
    Nameless’ lawyer disagreed vehemently with this, pointing out that Nameless’ likeness was currently owned by Subversion, not Nameless, and Subversion couldn’t be punished for Nameless’ crimes. It was in fact a real twin, and Subversion hadn’t made him.
  5. NameIess
    In order to enact this revenge, he began researching the quickest way to die.
  6. NameIess
    Nameless didn't show up to court, surprisingly. He figured that it was unlikely that the courts would figure out how to actually punish him for his crimes.
  7. NameIess
    He was right in the middle of a tearful reunion with his wife and ten children who'd died ten years ago in a freak accident when a train had derailed and hit his car when the book dropped onto his head.
  8. NameIess
    Nameless made sure that the series was fully distributed throughout the entirety of the afterlife, so that anyone who died would receive a copy within ten minutes of their death.
  9. NameIess
    Nameless then wrote a greatly improved version of Thaidakar's story and published it.
  10. NameIess
    Nameless, in the afterlife, burned Thaidakar’s fanfiction.
  11. NameIess
    Subversion of course considered herself more of a wise mentor figure to Hacob than a parental figure.
  12. NameIess
    And neither did the Kandra spy that was using connection to impersonate Hacob’s as-yet nonexistent father.
  13. NameIess
    The in-book camera switched off, but the hired spy gremlin didn’t.
  14. NameIess
    The author was of course completely aware of Hacob's confusion, given that they were currently spying on him via the use of an in-book camera.
  15. NameIess
    (In Hacob's case, the author (who was not Nowhere) had requested information from Moni, the one person who had responded in the affirmative to an interview. (and also the only person whom the Author had, after suitable investigation, decided was safe to interview openly) Moni had given the author a lengthy interview and many tips for digging up backstories, and thanks to her cooperation the eventual book had been several times longer than the author had originally envisioned.)
  16. NameIess
    (The author had used a variety of strategies, the therapist guise merely being the most effective)
  17. NameIess
    Never tried it. Do you think human rights are a good thing?
  18. NameIess
    But one day, probably before the heat death of the universe, they probably would be. And Plot would be waiting*. Meanwhile... I wonder where that Plot went. Oh well, Guess I'll have to go with the backup. In TLT, there are many strange things and many strange people. But today, this plot does not focus on anything out of the ordinary. No indeed, it focuses on something-sorry, someone-entirely ordinary. His name is Timothy. Timothy has always been an ordinary person, and his number one goal in life is living a long one that is as free of extra suffering as possible. To accomplish this goal, he does his utmost to avoid drawing a Narrators attention. To name a few of the precautions he has taken, he has carefully removed any latent desire to go on an adventure**, he has moved to a city that is extremely boring and has never even been mentioned in TLT, and he has resolved to avoid falling in love with anyone, as that only ever leads to eventual heartbreak. Although some would call his life "boring" or "in dire need of more explosions" Tim is actually quite happy in his normality. In fact, the only odd thing about him is the lengths to which he goes to hide from abnormalities. Well, that all might change today. Or it might not. I guess that's up to you. Tim heard a knock at his door. I wonder what that could be. I didn't think I had any company coming over. *Like the you-know-what **He accomplished this great feat by reading Trauma: An In-depth Study of the Great Heroes of TLT. (The author of this book had spent a great deal of time obtaining interviews by pretending to be a therapist, and had written a chapter on basically every significant figure in the past fifteen-hundred pages.
  19. NameIess
    What is this list?
  20. NameIess
    If all went according to plan, he would regain it in a mere thirty thousand pages.
  21. NameIess
    Wind-related humor aside, something important was happening. Well, a lot of important things were actually happening, most of which would never see the light of day due to the limited ability of the Author's imaginations to discover them, but this important thing was both important and already found. Wait, where did I put it again? I could've sworn I left the plot right here. Did somebody steal it* while I wasn't looking? *Like the wind
  22. NameIess
    *(Mallory was narrating like the wind.)
  23. NameIess
    I wished it because it’s easier to make people happy based upon not being a good person than it is to make them happy based upon being a good person (impossible depending on the definition). Your bane is that whenever look at food, you can see exactly what it is made of and how it was made. I wish to be able to learn stuff more quickly.
  24. NameIess
    Granted. Any time you do something not nice, every sharder falls into depression. I wish that every sharder would be happy because I am not a good person.
  25. NameIess
    Granted. Terry Pratchet comes back to life, but you forget about his books and can never read them again. I wish that all the clothes that I buy would fit perfectly and never wear out.
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