Brightness Warrior

Oh joy. A crab rave. The one thing we need to make our lives complete.

Granted. As your curse, you have two left feet. Really. I wish my cat would stop being such a jerk to my other cats.

No, the author cannot. The Scribbler could, though.

Are you certain? I'm not, more about the author.

Anyone stalking me would be bored to death within a week. My life is pretty standard, it seems.

Granted... but you have to live with a literal thorn in your side until you die. Then you'll be dead with a thorn in your side. I wish school was less boring.

Undeveloped

YKYASW you have a dream about visiting Urithiru... and it doesn't evaporate after 10 minutes of being awake.

This game. I like this game. *clears throat dramatically* Doors can enter but not handles. Walls can, and windows can't. Hills can. Mountains can't. Roads can't, streets can. Brooks can while streams can't. A hollow can but a hole can't. Everything may not, but all could. An allomancer can; a feruchemist can't. Windrunners can and Skybreakers can't. Mortals can't but immortals can. Galladon may go, but Raoden must tray. Nightblood may and Szeth may not. Firemoss can go and Ridgebark cannot. Death Rattles, yes. Last words, no. Truthless, yes. Slave, no. Ghostbloods, yes. The Diagram, no. The Shattered Plains, yes, Aemia, no Assassination, yes. Oathpact, no. Battles, yes. Wars, no. Chulls, yes. Chasmfiends, no. Koloss, yes. Kandra, no. Essence Marks, yes. Soulstone, no. Brass, yes. Atium, no. Too much? I apologize.

Inept

I want a cat, but I know I have enough. But then, it's so starvin' A D O R A B L E.

Unsophisticated

Granted! You are constantly under the effect of 1 gallon of coffee. I wish summer break were longer.

BOO

S W E E T G L A U R E H

Honey, this is all going to be a bit overwhelming, so until you start Mistborn, (and finish, preferably, but don't stress it.) just stay away from people offering baked goods and any most of these things: Brandon's books are a net of subtly-woven threads, almost so inconceivably thin in places, they might not exist. The overall strength of his web is unfathomable, so if you'd rather not get entangled in its innumerable tendrils, don't open the books. Just don't. However, it's a blast to just dive in headfirst, as I did. (I only joined this community after finishing every Sanderson book I could get my hands on.) Anyway, Welcome to the Shard. We're glad to have you. (Ignore my profile picture. Please.)

Granted! You become an insane workaholic who ignores their own wellbeing to solve everyone else's problems and eventually work yourself to death. I wish that humans had less of a tendency towards rudeness.

Fallout 4: Sorry. Really.

Y'want some random words I mashed together? Too bad.

Hey, I've officially been reincarnated! (What's the latest news on... the thing I daren't mention by name?)

Granted. You are now morbidly obese. I wish that there was a way to measure the strength of emotion. (Like, a unit or meter to use.)

You must partake of the dangerous substance known as... That was when he finally croaked after several long minutes of wheezing and various other mumbled cryptic phrases.

Then the universe imploded due to the sheer unpredictability of its current situation.

Known.

False.