Glaring at the Survivor

Hey, where'd Hoid go? He definitely deserves to be on there.

Oh, yeah. Send him to Alaska, then. Exactly. So, instead, buy me a plane ticket. Oh, you won't? Why not? See my point.

Here we are introduced to Valcar's POV, Scilair's POV, and we get another bit of Panther. (If the crystal weapons seem like a copy of Trizee, please note that I have been throwing the idea around for quite some time before I read Trizee's work. You know, crystal aliens seemed like a great place to insert crystal weapons, so...) Please critique!

Chapter 3&4 are both ready. Could I submit today?

So... Is all I do add it to my sig?

I would like to announce that I am "leaving" for a short time as I read the Mistborn Series--I finally got it! See you in...a week or two.

I would like to announce that Stormlight Two (First Draft) is now at 13%!

I'll add it to the Proglogue, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2, but I'll just tell you guys unless you want the two chapters again.

Hi, welcome to the 17th Shard website! I'm glad you've come to join the spiky energetic website. Beware the admins, they will try to spike you give you spiked cookies. (So get on their good sides pretty fast, or be turned into a spike given cookies.) I hope to see you around! (Beware Enjoy the spikes cookies!

Don't worry, I'll guard you. *screams* *dies*

It's important later. Okay. How about, "Valcar's mouth moved, as Panther cold see, but he heard nothing." Better? That is a very good question, to which I have a relatively simple answer. First of all, let me say that Panther could have used his Partial Gift, but it was set to tell him anything that would lead to danger. He could have changed this, yes, but the Partial Gift, as all others, drains the energy of the owner. Panther, Fallout, and Thorn (who appears later), all are "strong" enough that they could easily use there Gifts and Partial Gifts for long periods of time. And you never know when danger might come. To the topic of energy-drainage, (which will be explained in more detail in chapter three, giving Valcar's POV,) Fallout's invisibility may come into question. Again, Fallout has increased "strength" and "energy". But the energy/strength that is used is decreased the more the Gift/Partial Gift is used, and the more it is used, the more energy/strength the user has. Fallout is older than one would think, when seeing him, and he has used his Gift (Bending Light) daily ever since he came to Earth, and therefore has a massive storage of energy. I wasn't thinking thoroughly, because I did know this. Hmm... Well somehow he still sees things, but I can't think of a way. Suggestions? Hmm. I'll explain that, then. I'll tell you (Reading Excuses) in the next email. Thanks!

I would like to announce that Stormlight 2 first draft is at 10%! Yay! (Just 90% more to go...) I would like to announce that Chatroom is awesome! I would like to announce that I must leave for a few minutes. Or hours. I am announcing that I AM NOT A BIRD! No matter what Chaos says--don't believe him.

A collector who never used it. He had the cable to. Yeah, I may have to make it a Holograph version. Okay. 1 kilometer, then? Better? Yeah... Okay. I thought "Fallout walked down the dark hallway, toward the Emperor of New Rome. A few recent problems had occurred with the Emperor, and he had reportedly been killing citizens of Rome." sounded off for repetition. Typo, fixed it. No, i havent read those books. If the object they see is lit, he can see it. Same as with us: if we are in the dark, but we see an object that is lit, we can see it. That's how flashlights work—you light up the object, not you. As if a statue. Better? He originally suspected the advisor. But after seeing the play against Saldear, he knew otherwise. The relativity will be more distinct during the next chapter with Fallout's POV.

Thanks. This is now the first paragraph: So now you hear he's in the car earlier on.

Yeah don't use my account anymore. Welcome.

Exactly. But, you see... Well, I'd best not say it. (Watch out!)

Hello, and welcome to the forums. Have a great time!

I know you know what already happened/will happen in this submission, because I sent it two weeks ago. However, I have revised both chapter 1 and the prologue, and I think it needs re-critiqued. This is the last time I plan on sending this back in until I am on Draft 2. Please critique! Also Chapter 2 was sent, and it could be critiqued plz! (Sorry it took me a while to find that file, and I had a few things going on in between.)

Cool. Good luck to all of you who are working it!

I am a blond, so take no offense as I say this: So, There was a boat in the middle of the lake. On it were 4 people: a brunette, a blond, a redhead, and the captain. The nose of this ship is always low in the water, but the captain doesn't notice until they were in the middle of the lake. He yells, "Evacuate ship!" The brunette gets on an inflated inflatable raft with an or and rows safely away. The redhead puts on a life jacket and jumps overboard, floating aimlessly. The blonde jumps into the lake with nothing but normal day clothes on, and drowns. The captain then walks into the Captain's Cabin (at the front of the ship), pulls or a box of his bowling ball collection, and dumps it overboard. Then he drives his boat safely away. -Tyler

Agreed.

Hello, and welcome to the 17thShard. Please check out the CBox at the bottom of the forums page! I'm busy now, so this is short. Hope to see you 'round!