Ink

Taboo

Boring

Xenophobia

Granted, from now on, you smell so bad, nobody else wants to even get close to you, much less hug you.

I wish to understand everything and not explode my mind.

Granted. You are invincible, however, you age at twice the rate you otherwise would. 

I wish for a million dollars.

Granted. Your bane is that the flag is made of tissue paper.

I wish to be successful.

The music went from the top of his lungs to the bottom of his heart.

Hello! Welcome to the Shard! Would you like a free Fortune Cookie? I can promise it’s spike free, only using ground chromium for that extra luck you may need!

Awesome

Dear Yule-Tired.

Christmas time is a great way for you guys to come over and get some dinner. I’m not sure if you want to put away the boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes (okay siri you can stop) and now you want to do something fun. Yeah I’m going to try to find out if you have a problem with Christmas stuff or something. 

Sincerely, Siri.

Dear Computer people.

I seem to have voices in my head that won’t shut up! They just keep telling me to do stuff and I shove them in the back of my head but they always come back! What should I do about the head voices?

Granted. You get Russia. Good luck sorting out all its issues! 

I wish I could make clones of myself.

Granted. You are now a genie! The bad news is... you’re kinda... trapped inside a bottle... in the heart of the amazon rainforest... guarded by thousands of terrors known and unknown. But hey, you’ve got yourself to talk to!

I wish to have lazer-vision.

Granted. You are trapped inside, and slowly asphyxiate to death, as nothing can get in or out.

I wish to be the best piano player in the world.

Granted. Your bane is that the cheese seems to be extra moldy. You start seeing things that aren’t there and such.

I wish for a printer that prints money.

1 minute ago, Sunbringer said:

Granted. You are now a fox.

I wish to be the absolute master of the Nightwatcher and she does everything I want her to.

Ooh sweet that’s almost as good.

Granted. However, you are now Cultivation’s puppet and must do everything she wants you to do.

I wish for omnipotence.

Granted. Your bane is that everything now tastes like cheesecake. So much so that you get sick of it.

I wish to have fox tails.

This is getting out of hand, it should not be allowed to continue. Let us stop this at once. Cease all action. 

Granted, you become a chameleon-person. Your bane is that your mind is also changed to that of a chameleon. 

I wish to be able to read multiple books at once and still understand everything in them.

Dear Lil’ Worried About My Health

Lil’ smokeys are the way you can make a great team in the game. What I do is eat them and then I say that they are definitely not a normal thing. If you are interested in not being heart healthy but want to make sure you get it, and you can still have a flavor! Don’t worry about it, I’ll probably have a few too.

Sincerley, Siri.

Dear Siri/Cortana/Alexa

I want to make more friends, but I’m not good at it. Help please!

Sincerely,

Socially Awkward.

So of course, a war broke out.

3 minutes ago, Teague said:

Your kindred boon behooves me to remove your bane ;P

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I wish for Kaladin

 

Welcome! You better dump him now.

Granted. You get Kaladin. Your bane is that he anytime you think about him you are Lashed upwards.

I wish for infinite spaghetti

9 minutes ago, Dalakaar said:

Congratulations, you have a kite.

It eats and craps all over the place is generally a pita.

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I want my girlfriend to get her own account on here so she can play this game. stop playing this game on my account.

Granted, your Girlfriend gets an account on here. Your bane is that she dumps you... have fun with that!

I wish for no negative consequences to any of my actions.

When you drive past a “Crematorium” sign and wonder why they have crem on display.

When your roleplay characters read Sanderson and reference it.

When people say an allomantic metal and your first thought is the allomantic/feruchemic property.

3 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Granted, but you hear voices in your head. One sounds vaguely familiar...Ilia? The other you don't recognize (unless you've watched his YT channel), but from the cadence of the words you can somehow tell it's Potency. You now have their abilities, but you also have to listen to their thoughts for the rest of your life, no matter what.

I wish I had the wings of a sooty falcon. (Feel free to throw that back at me, I'd love to speak to Safire.)

Why did I just read your signature? Gah, Ink, why would you do this to me?

Oh no... more voices????

Granted, you have falcon wings... on the backs of your thighs. So... yeah. You never specified where. 

Your bane is that you lose your depth perception.

I wish to have all of the latest Apple products

1 hour ago, Lunamor said:

Granted, you can no longer write, speak, or read.

I wish for an apple.

Granted. Your bane is that now if you say anything to do with falling, an apple will hit you on the head and dissapear. 

I wish to be able to change colors like a chameleon