Personification
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Status Updates posted by Personification
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So, I haven't visited the Shard or looked at any WoBs in like 8 months, and I need to get caught up. If you see this, please help me fill in what I missed by giving me a:
- Must read WoB
- Must see Shardcast episode
- Must know-about Fandom-wide meme or major event
- Cosmere song parody idea
A preemptive thank you to anyone who actually does this
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As you can probably tell from the post below, it is my birthday.
I'd like to thank the academy...
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Happy Koloss Head-Munching Day!
While I didn't write anything new this year, here is a link to my some-years-old collection of songs from throughout the Cosmere to celebrate the occasion:
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I have updated my signature. This week's(??? month's??? Year's???? I don't know, I always forget to update it) parodies are my top-ish 3 Stormlight parodies. Top-ish 3 because I am conflicted about the ranking.
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After nearly two years neglecting both, I finally updated my About Me and signature.
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I am finally getting the hang of this "weekly update" thing. Unfortunately, I may miss updating next week because I might not be able to log on, but until then, enjoy.
The theme this week (3-24-19) is Kalladin (WoK):
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I have finally remembered to update my signature! The theme this week (3-17-19) is Kelsier:
- Bring Him Home sung (with moderate apathy) by Kelsier (no explicit spoilers, but spoilery things could be extrapolated)
- I Will Survive (as sung by Kelsier) (minor Final Empire spoilers)
- I Will Survive (reprise) (Major Mistborn Era 1 and Secret History spoilers)
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To whom it may concern,
A bit over a month ago, I posted that I had updated my signature (which I had intended to update weekly) for the first time in like two months. Yeaaahhh... uhhh... well, at least one month is less than two. Anyway, I have finally changed it again. Maybe next week I will actually remember.
This week's (or maybe month's) theme is Shards:
- "You'll Be Back" (Sung by Odium, to the tune of the song with the same title from Hamilton) (HUGE OB spoilers)
- "Bye, Bye, Tanavast What a Guy" or "The Day That Honor Died" (To the tune of "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie" by Don Mclean) (OB spoilers)
- Losing my Religion (as sung by Sazed) (major Era 1 spoilers)
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I don't know if anyone is reading this, but if they are:
At the end of December I changed my signature and said that I would have a rotating list of song parody links on it that would change weekly. Then I forgot. Anyway, if anyone cared, sorry for the delay but I have finally updated the songs.
This week's theme is Szeth:
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I just want to let anyone who might be wondering know that I have moved a chunk of my Stormlight parodies into a brand new post, added two semi-new parodies to it, and completely reconfigured my signature.
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Newest Parody:
WARNING: Oathbringer Spoilers
"Bye, Bye, Tanavast What a Guy" (or "The Day That Honor Died") to the tune of "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie" by Don Mclean
SpoilerA long long time ago
I can still remember how
My honor used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could fight Herdazians
And maybe win some glory for a while
But Tien’s death it made me shiver
To my parents I could not deliver
The news that I’d witnessed it
So instead I reenlisted
I can't remember if I cried
When I learned Amaram had lied
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Honor died
So
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Did you write a dying note
And why was it a random quote,
Gavilar why did you go?
Was desolation your true goal?
Can Honor save my mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to act noble?
Well, my sanity’s been set adrift
'Cause I saw her burnin' at the rift
I’ve got nothing left to lose
Please, Nightwatcher cure my blues
I was a lonely warlord born with skill
With some new shardplate and a drive to kill
But then I learned to hate the Thrill
The day that Honor died
I started drinkin'
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Now, four eons we've been on our own
And crem grows fat on a rolling stone
But, that's not how it used to be
When the ardents ruled for the king and queen
And claimed the future could be seen
In a time known later as “Heirocracy”
Oh and then one king put his foot down
The Sunmaker put on his crown
Old knowledge was unlearned
All prophecy deterred
And while Shallan read a book on art
Eshonai made maps in the park
And the king’s newfound orb glowed dark
The day that Honor died
We were singin'
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The bridgeman strung up with no shelter
There was a Highstorm coming fast
Suspended in a bead of glass
The gem glowed at the stormwall’s pass
On the roof of barracks that had been soulcast
Now the humid air was sweet perfume
While bridgemen sang a happy tune
But something wasn’t right
Oh, the gem held no Stormlight
Incredibly the bridgeman healed
His wounds were all so quickly sealeld
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that Honor died?
We started singin'
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Fleet be nimble, Fleet be quick
Fleet ran over the shin mountains
But, the storm still caught him in the end
Oh and as I watched him through the cage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No Herald born on Braize
Could beat Wit’s turns of phrase
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Raise laughing with delight
The day that Honor died
He was singin'
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
If we went back I knew we’d lose
So I asked Jezrien what to choose
But he just smiled and turned away
I went there after every war
Where I'd sworn to Honor years before
But the man there said our honor ends today
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The Heralds all were broken
And the three wisest men by far,
Jezrien, Nin, and Ishar
They left Taln to be torn apart
The day that Honor died
And they were singing
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Bye, bye Tanavast, what a guy
Driven crazy by Raise maybe, but till then he was fine,
And Radiants were drinking violet and white
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
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New Parody:
Zahel's Lament (To the tune of "I am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel)
SpoilerA winter's day
In the riddens of
The Highstorm,
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
I can see the gems begin to glow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my work
And my swordplay to protect me,
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding out on Roshar, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain,
And an island never cries.