Archer

Narrator Archer slowly retracted his question. He looked around, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. His years of foruming experience had honed his senses into razor blades of sensory detection. He knew the feeling that was churning in his gut. He knew it, and he feared it. "Tread lightly," he whispered to his imaginary companion. "It appears that we have stumbled upon an inside joke." He cautiously checked the posts behind him. They were full of references he did not understand. "And it is very possible," he continued, "that my presence is ruining it."

Why? (I need to know.) Edit: ... Asked someone or other.

He prefers toppings like bacon and sausage. Who can blame him? Paparazzi pizza is gross.

Finally! A thread for this. I'll admit it, I'm a fan. Like most people, I was exposed to it at a young age. The music really hooked me. I love that one about the goldfish and the crayons. I know it by heart. That song is, well, it's my whole world. And by extension, so is the furry red muppet who sang it. He's a true inspiration. (In all seriousness, I don't identify as an emo, nor am I particularly fond of the musical genre, but from my perspective, it's an interesting cultural niche with some cool things going for it. Respect to all of you.)

Text meme time! (Those are still 'a thing', right?) And a tribute to the things my sleep-deprived brain thinks of at 3 am in the morning. (You swallow them and then they work their magic from inside of you, making it look like you're a mistborn, but in reality you're just a vessel. ) I'll conclude with a Shardcast meme. Fin.

TEEEFAAAH! TFA! Welcome back! My Google is refusing to cooperate today, and I’ve got some really pressing question that I need answered. Is it okay to play squash with gourds? Or do you have to use squash? Are yes me what? Finally, which Sanderson book best represents your personality? (The choose your own adventure style quiz in the spoiler tag below may help.)

She now looked like how Narrator Archer imagines the woman in the title of this thread looks like. In his headcanon, Miss Adventures has really nice hair. Even better, some say, than the unseeable guy's. He has a subpar invisi-bob.

I second the sentiment. At the very least, I'd like to see this round wrapped up. I know it would make the votes more public than they have been in past, but at your end I think the easiest solution would be to edit the OP to make a poll instead of doing it through Google surveys. That can be done quickly, and if you can't get on in a timely manner again, it will be easy to tell who won. Alternatively, someone could be appointed to make the poll and collect votes. The ideal candidate would be a non contestant, but if you have trouble finding someone, shoot me a PM. I'm okay if you need to put the competition on pause for a while, but I would like clarity about what the plan is going forward. (Also, it would be nice if you'd give us an update so we know you didn't get a concussion or something. We're worried about ya.)

You missed being a leap year baby by a matter of hours, @Blank White Screen. No doubt that failing has haunted you your entire life, and my mentioning of it only serves to bring back traumatic memories. Have a good one, BB!

Nazh and Nazh (brother of Nazh) wanted the valuable object hidden in Khazad Dum. They vowed they hunt for it relentlessly. They even bought horses and nifty travelling cloaks (both black, obviously) to help them achieve their #NazhGoal.

I never thought I'd say this, but after seeing this abomination... ...I think we can beat those numbers. Welcome to the Shard, @TheGirlWhoLookedUp. Ignore the small war that's brewing over here about the proper name for the Alleyverse RP, and tell me, what's your favourite Sanderson book?

Meme time! I just finished White Sand, so here's a meme on that: Warbreaker memes: Sometime, somebody needs to write up the rules to terachin. Moving on, here's a Sharding meme: And finally, a meme (of my headcanon) of how Wax and Wayne's first conversation went, back when Wax first saved him and took him under his wing.

Steris Subdued.

Welcome to the Shard! I like your username. Oh snap! You just activated my trap card! The mods get grumpy when you double post, so you're encouraged to edit your post instead if you have information to add. Don't worry about it this time (it's your intro thread, you're allowed to make mistakes) but in future, avoiding unnecessary posting is a good habit to get into.

The Last Post thread was crushed so much it turned into a diamond. The sentient Longest Thread thread super-glued it to a ring and used it to propose to...

Granted, but for every subscriber PewDiePie gets, two people subscribe to T-Series. And three subscribe to DudePerfect so they can #TiethePie despite that being an obvious ploy to become the most subscribed channel. I wish for two randomly selected cities in the world to switch places, without the residents of them knowing about it. I'd also like a helicopter so I can fly over one of the cities and watch people's reactions when they leave the city limits.

If it were up to me, I would approve it on the grounds of it being a non-combatant. But you've posted it here for peer review, so I'd recommend giving it a few hours to let people in other time zones get the chance to take a look at it. Then they can start coming up with ideas for how they will interact with it, as well as give feedback and make suggestions, if they have any. I'll @Lord Meeker to make sure it's on his radar so it can be added to the list at the appropriate time.

So, there was a lot of... I made a brick! Is this good food? "No. You can't even eat it." How about those people over there? Would they make good food? "No! You can't eat people!" I can't eat anything at all. ... Are those people heroes? "I guess you could say that." So they're good people? Good, is that right? "What are you getting at?" My orders are to make Good into food. If I had emotions I'd feel bad for them. Death by spatula is an embarrassing way to go.

The way I scored it, the bolded ones cancel out the 25S points that were remaining, the others make up for the staff. I would say that with these additions, the Jackal not only is eligible for a 'most weaknesses' record, but is also not OP. If you wanted, you could probably drop one or two of these in the final bio. Thank you for your patience, and for accommodating my requests. It really is an interesting character, and I look forward to seeing it RPed. When you can, submit the full bio to the Character Thread, an Meeker will put it up. If you designate a character as being non-combatant, traditionally exceptions are made for its OPness. The one thing I'd like to point out though is that your Type IV biochromatic spatula doesn't have taste buds. How is supposed to know what good food is?

Before he died, Mace's last thoughts were of his family. As his lungs convulsed, his nephew's face came to mind. It was happy memory, from a time between wars. A time when everything seemed possible. Back when I had hair, came a random observation from his subconscious. Also, owwwwww. The pain was unbearable. He tried to heal, but something was wrong. His goldminds wouldn't compound. He tried to flare his metals, any and all of them, but it was like they had disappeared. He couldn't sense them. All he could feel was a painful bulge in his stomach. His nephew's face was replaced in his mind's eye. In its place, a grinning skull appeared. It was nestled in the hood of a dark cloak that Mace vaguely recognized. Suddenly, the skeleton spoke. Its voice was deep and ancient. Mace immediately remembered where he'd last heard it, nearly two decades ago. YOU COULD USE YOUR FERUCHEMICAL ABILITIES. YOU STILL HAVE THOSE. Dang you, Mace thought at it. Dang you to- HELLO, the skeleton interrupted. IT APPEARS THAT YOUR ATTACKER IS NOT FINISHED. With brutal efficiency, Detran brought his sword down upon Mace's neck. In his last second of life, Mace managed to eek out a single word. It was a whisper, likely imperceptible to all but its intended recipient. It was the universal cry of a defeated man. "Why?" MACE KLASTEN, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW... Mace's body fell to the ground, dead. Concerningly, he could still hear the other man speaking. ...WHEN YOU DO A DEAL WITH DEATH, THERE'S ALWAYS A CATCH. Mace looked at his corpse and winced. An impossible amount of blood was seeping out, soaking into the ground around him. It was morbidly captivating. Finally, he looked back to meet the gaze of the skeletal creature beside him. TIME TO GO, it said coldly. And for once, Mace didn't try to fight the inevitable. Instead, he lifted his head, straightened his back, and embraced the Beyond with acceptance. It was finally the end for him.

110M+170S=115W =100M+65S I'd score it as being 20 skill points over where I'd like it to be. (Note: I docked 10 for overlap.) That score does not include points for his staff and his telepathic link to it, because I'm unsure how to score it. I would recommend just equipping him with a regular* staff, and adding one or two more weaknesses. *by which I mean a destructible one. It could still have aluminum lining or any number of a variety of upgrades and still not be worth any points.

You could make a full bio, or you could do a shortened version and tack it on to the end of your other two character's bios, like how spren are treated.