Archer
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Everything posted by Archer
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I wouldn't say no to some help. If you're up to it, that'd be amazing.
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I could alphabetize it. Would that help? I'll look into doing that when I've got some free time. And for Era 2, I'm going to start a new list. I'll keep the old one around for reference though.
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Mace's stomach churned. Teleportation was his least favourite form of transportation. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes to get his bearings. A skeletal grin. A nearly empty hourglass. Regret. Mace's eyes snapped open. "I need a clock!" he said desperately, louder than he'd intended. Ignoring the other's concerned looks, he rushed to the desk at the back of the room. He brushed the papers off of it, frantically tossing everything onto the ground until at last he found a small desk clock. He held it up to the light so he could read the face. "Merciful Domi. There's still time." He let the clock slip from his arms. "There's always time. That's the problem, isn't it?" He smiled as if he'd just made some grand discovery. Humming a tunelessly to himself, Mace walked back across the room to see what Elkanah was doing.
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Aww shucks. *blushes* You're mighty too! Mace approached Solace, brushing molten metal out of his beard as he did so. His fingers lingered above his empty sword scabbard. "We aren't called the underground bakery association for nothing. Our basement appears to be... undergoing a spontaneous renovation at the moment, but we've got another subterranean hideout not far from here. The entrance is right next to that Shoggoth, we can slip in there and prepare uninterrupted." Mace tilted his head to point the way.
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Mace's body lay on the ground like roadkill. His chest grew still for one agonizing moment. The space between heartbeats. The space between life and death. "GIGGLYPUFF," Mace shouted, avoiding trademark infringement as he awoke from a nightmare. His body appeared to have healed. His skin had reverted to its normal tanned shade, and his face was significantly less squishy than it had been a few moments before. Curiously, he appeared to have grown a beard during the healing. He spat on the ground, then sat up to talk to the gathered people. "Thanks guys," he said. "Did I get him?" Screams originating from down the alley indicated that he had not, at least, not entirely. Mace shrugged. These things happen. "I haven't seen any civilians yet. I suspect that they are all either hiding, or were killed in the initial slaughter. There might still be some in the main buildings." The screams continued, followed by crunching noises. "Speaking of storms, Storm... storms!" Mace swore as the chewing noises from the end of the alleyway interrupted him. He waited until they subsided a bit. "As I was saying, I'm not liking the look of this weather. Those clouds overhead look ready to burst." Fittingly, a bursting noise from the Shoggoth underscored his point. "I don't know what time it is, I've been running on investiture all day. But it's high time we regrouped and refocused our attack where it's most needed. Besides, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since the battle commenced."
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Mace felt the air around him heat up. Sweat drenched his body. The air seemed was stiff and unbearably hot. He closed his eyes and pushed with everything he had... The barrel exploded, breaking at the seams and blowing its lid. The blast rocketed outwards. The Shoggoth was caught in the explosion, grey goo splattered everywhere. It roared in fury! Limbs stabbed with renewed vigor as it thrashed in pain. Meanwhile, Mace's body was thrown into the air. He flew for a moment, then landed in the courtyard of the TUBA base, barely breathing. He was covered in slowly healing burns and molten metal.
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Shoggoth fighting with Rohan, round 2: Mace flared tin to deal with the pain. Healing came quickly, luckily it appeared that he was good at that. He tried reaching out to his soldiers, to send them allomantic induced bravery. It didn't work. Most of them just looked confused, distracting them from the fight. Mace gave up on that idea and focused on his attack. "I NEED COOKIES!" he bellowed. One of the support crew brought him a barrel of them. TUBA bakers were always prepared to distribute cookies. Mace unceremoniously dumped them on the ground, kicking them aside. He checked the material of the container. Lead? That's got to be a safety hazard... "Seal me in, then get me as close to the center of it as you can," he commanded. He swallowed some more metalminds and handed away some others, tore off most of his armour, then squeezed himself into the barrel. Above his head, his solders smashed the lid back on with their war hammers and hilts of their swords - similar to what one might do with a paint can. As he felt himself moving, Mace prepared to compound tin. His plan was to create a massive amount of heat in the enclosed space. Ideally, it would create an explosion that would wound the beast. And ideally, compounding gold will let me survive this, Mace thought as he listened to the TUBA soldiers shout information at him as they fought to get him close to the Shoggoth.
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Mace swallowed some of his metalminds as the Shoggoth oozed about. "Be careful," Mace cautioned Rohan. "I've got no idea what this thing is capable of. I'll try and take it down from underneath. This thing has got to have a weak point." As they talked the creature formed a pair of arms to crush one of the soldier fighting it. It seemed to be attacking the ones closest to it first. "PINK IS THE BEST COLOUR!" Mace screamed as he charged the monster alongside his koloss-blooded buddy. Mace dodged the Shoggoth's tentacle as it swiped at him. Then he lept forward to stab it in the eye. If the creature made vocal cords so it could laugh at him. But Mace still managed to slide underneath it, lying in a crevice and raising an arm to fend off the beast on top of him.
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I'll leave it open (read: will try not to kill it in one post, even if I could) so you can hop in if you want. My plan for beating this thing would only be thought of by Mace after he realized conventional weapons won't have much effect on it. On an unrelated note, I promised SD I'd meet him at the bakery, so... Mace tapped some luck. As a herd of beasts charged him, he randomly turned into an allyway to his left. Conveniently, it led straight to the back door of the TUBA base. Cool, Mace thought. Turning back towards his impending doom, he watched as his guards downed another kolossal, tripping it with some rope then stabbing it ferociously. Then the Shoggoth pounced. Its first victim barely had time to scream. The second saw his fate coming, but it couldn't even raise their sword in time to ward off the attack. A few TUBA soldiers managed to throw their spears at it, but they didn't seem to do anything but enrage the beast. Cursing, Mace charged it from the side. If Storm wanted to talk, he could join him or wait until the Shoggoth was dispatched. Mace adopted his arena fighting technique - an unnaturally quick charge, ending with a leap into his opponent to smash them with his shoulder. He hit something. One of those loose bits at the back. To increase the damage, he raked his sword over the creature's back, then landed in a roll on the far side of it, weapon raised to block a counter attack. Around him, the other TUBA soldiers tried more conventional attacks, stabbing at wherever was accessible. Others tried to find a weakness by throwing random stuff from their pack at it. Cookies. Bronze coins. Water. Leather. Blood. Nothing seemed to have much effect. Time for Plan B.
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Mace watched as a large Kolossal came lumbering down the alley, headed for straight for him. What did I ever do to deserve this? Mace thought. I hope Voidus isn't still made I killed his pet rock. He always seemed like more of a chia pet kind of guy anyway. Mace sized up the foe. It was bigger than a normal koloss. Mace would know, he'd spent most of his childhood among them. But it seemed just as angry as one. Probably Ruin. Or just battle frenzy. "Okay lads," Mace shouted. "Here comes a right big one! Knock it off its feet, and don't stop stabbing until it stops squirming." He pulled on of his honour guardsmen aside, and whispered a quick instruction. "If I don't survive this, tell Rhazien and Yzabet that their wedding presents were actually limericks. I just edited the last lines of each one to make them more agreeable. Thanks, mate." The kolossal charged. "Stand strong!" The beast roared, reaching its grey hands out to grab Mace's body and snap him in two. "NOW!" The assembled forces descended on it, hacking and slashing at its legs. Mace joined them, using an investiture enhanced jump to leap up and swing his sword at its chest. The kolossal thrashed wildly, backhanding the soldiers closest to it. Mace continued to stab it, swinging his leg around its neck so he could ride it as he did. Finally, from a combination of blood loss and fatigue, the beast began to slow. Mace raised his sword a final time and plunged it into the kolossal's neck. It slowly toppled, crushing a sentinel underneath it. "Finish it off," Mace ordered. "Then get ready, there's more of those beasties coming." He shook his fist in the general direction of the worldspike. "Bring it on, big guy!"
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Mace gave Yzabet a grin. "Mac never gave detailed instructions about the itinerary of his funeral, so I was going to do an open mic thing. Unless anyone tries to do any of that spoken word stuff." He shuddered with distaste.
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The Longest Thread (Misadventures)
Archer replied to ElephantEarwax's topic in Forum Games & Random Stuff
The puppies, luckily, helped his effort. Dalinar tried to grab at the dogs as each pranced and ran in circles gracefully. -
The sign read: Mac's Funeral. Free cookies after the ceremony. It hung over the door of a modest looking stone church. The location had chosen because the fourth wall was weak there. The head usher was beginning to regret that decision, because every few minutes on of his assistants would start to babble about breadmunks. It was frustrating. But it wasn't a problem. The building was filling up nicely. People sat patiently waiting, facing the front. A few of them had ventured up to look at the closed casket, but none dared touch it. It was made of solid iron, inscribed with Mac's name. It seemed to ooze darkness, but that was probably just a trick of the light. He munched a cookie as he waited for the ceremony to begin.
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"Let's do something stupid!" Mace announced. "Those DA lads are rather fond of their worldspike. Somebody throw something at it. To get their attention." He waved to his soldiers. They didn't respond, as Death (who was previously known as Cuthbert, recieved a boon that gave him the power of Discworld Death, but the bane was he would become less and less human the more he used the power, making him fully Death @Nohadon) had destroyed them. Mace made a mental note to tell Storm to bring more reinforcements than he was planning on. They were going to need them. Mace then saw someone taunting Death. It appeared to be that Devaan guy, the one with the cool card tricks. I like how style, Mace thought. He unshouldered one of his packs and threw it at Devaan's feet. I don't know why they give me a ration of stormlight. I've got enough stored health to get me through this. Actually, I might be able to do one better. Whatever the case, Mace figured Devaan could use the bag of spheres more than he could. But there was no time to worry about that for much longer, for Mace had an attack to carry. Swallowing a few vials of metal flakes, Mace took off down the pathway that led to the Dark Alleys.
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"I've been better," Mace replied. "But I'm scared, Yzy. I don't know myself anymore. Something has changed. I feel... different." Mace got to his feet, his legs shaking like he'd just touched ground after a long sea voyage. Every joint cracked, which was a disgusting noise. Suddenly, his eyes widened in shock. "That shouldn't be possible..." he whispered to himself. "I need to study this. But there's too little time." Remembering that Yzabet was there, he refocused on her. "We need to get going. So much to do. But fighting underlings and minor demons just serves to slowly depleat our resources. It's time we kicked this up a notch. Poked the bear, as it were."
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Mace waved his troops on as he kneeled down to puke. Storms, he hated dying.
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"I don't understand," Mace replied. Death handed him a bag. "I still don't understand," Mace continued. "And there's the back of the T-shirt," Death said, smiling creepily. "Am I alive, dead, me, you... DEATH! WHAT AM I?" Mace screamed, the frustration of the moment getting to him.
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Mace wasn't thinking too clearly. But he managed to respond somehow. "I'm tempted to punch you, but that's someone else's thing. Fine. You can be co-director for Mac's funeral. Just try not to scare the kids."
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Having created a way in, Mace directed his army forward. Screaming a war cry that would put a Smedry to shame, he led the charge. They quickly closed the distance, rushing across the grassy field. Their footsteps thundered as, above them, catapult shots whizzed toward the village. "Scale the wall! Once on the other side, make your way to the TUBA bakery!" he shouted. His soldiers obeyed, running up the fruitcake ramp, and into the Alleyvillage.
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Mace saw the battle beginning. He knew that at any moment the forces of the Dark Alley would come for them. Or those space mariners with their high tech weaponry and armour. They needed a way into the city. "Stone soldiers!" he shouted. "Launch the projectiles!" The soldiers reached into the bags of fruitcake they had brought, and began to throw them one at a time at the wall of the city. Their enhanced strength allowed their shots to fly true, landing in a pile next to the wall. A pile that could easily be used as a ramp if one brought boards to aid them as they scaled the wall. "Maintain fire!" Mace ordered. "Don't stop until the wall is coated in 'cake'!" He used air quotes to show that fruitcake isn't real cake.
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Yeah, the DA isn't going to be pulling a single punch. TUBA offered to bring some punch, and maybe some other refreshments too, but the DA declined. Then the DA spiked the punch.
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Mace waved off his apology. "You're welcome here any time, friend. Take a cookie." He passed over a freshly made chocolate chip cookie. Rashan seemed to have plenty of bodyguards, so Mace decided not to push it any further. Instead, he called over one of honour guard to read him a report on their metal shipments. Seeing as there were so many allomancers around, Mace had decided to arrange for some carts of metal to be brought to the front. Once that busisness was settled, Mace thanked the man and handed him one of his largest copperminds. The man took it and, using a Tia card, went to put it in a safe place off-world. "I'm glad to see the Sentinels are bolstering our ranks! Remind me to thank their leader for his assistance," Mace commanded another of his guard. "Now bring me some flour! An army marches on its stomach, and we've got hungry soldiers to feed!" He proceeded to toss his sword to the ground in favour of a spoon, and to begin organizing the TUBA chefs to make them all some lunch.
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“You speak of things that are both impossible and inevitable,” Mace responded to Tena, beginning to wax philosophical. “Suggesting that the Ghostbloods and TUBA unite against a common foe to save me land, our land, may sound logical. But the validity of your points wane when one considers the nature of the two guilds. The Ghostbloods are a parasite. Incapable of creating anything lasting, they prey on others to continue their pathetic existence. They are like a child, running up a flight of stairs, pushing others into harm’s way to reach the top, caring only for themselves, never realizing that when they finally ascend…” Mace paused to scratch his shoulder. Standing outside all day was giving him a bloody tan. He made a mental note to treat with one of them newfangled cures, maybe some ointment or tar. “Son, when they ascend, they will find themselves unfulfilled. They ran without care for others, they ran etiquetteless, just to reach their goals. And still they won’t be happy.” He looked over the grassy fields at the mobilizing armies. “All I know is that people like that are hard to work with. You can never tell if they’re about to stab you in the back or trip you up. You can jack it up to eleven, fight your hardest, win the battle - and still lose when your allies betray you at the last moment.” Mace took a deep breath, then continued. “But sometimes you’ve got to work with people you don’t like. My uncle, He’d warn against this sort of thing. But at this stage in the game, where it’s hard to tell sin from good, and the lines of morality are blurred, it is a leader’s responsibility to set a course that will most benefit his followers. And this day, the course has us ally with the Ghostbloods. You may tell their leader that TUBA stands against the Dark Alley, and for as long as our goals are the same, we will stand with whatever allies are necessary. Including the cowardly assassins. I'd rather side with them than have the Dark Alley tear us apart.”
