TwiLyghtSansSparkles

Something different.

I'm no weatherman, but I think Costco pizza is absurdly delicious for the low price you pay. It's hard to forget that sometimes. I like the idea. And I think we could excuse that by saying that the Epics present WERE powerful Epics looking for a place to rule or prove themselves. It's still not a very good failsafe. Being eaten alive would be extremely painful, no matter if you could reverse it, and forming in someone's stomach would be just as excruciating because of the hydrochloric acid.

The last two sound like a very bad combination. If she addicts everyone to Nutella and then turns into a living Nutella figure....let's just say Just Desserts will be down a member very quickly.

I'm no weatherman, but I think their power struggle might explain some of the unusually sunny days the game has seen, especially if Snowfall was stealing rain from Oregon. Coastal cities would probably also start having unusually cold weather as arctic air swept by. On the other hand, if Snowfall were feeling benevolent and decided to bless her subjects with a few days of sunshine, Oregonian weather would most likely remain untouched during that time. Yeah, Astoria isn't exactly a good training ground. More "prove how well you can write an OP tyrant" from what I've heard.

Another small town it is, then. Is there any place in particular the rest of you wanted?

In that case, it sounds like we'd need to open one of the smaller towns that are relatively isolated from the main storyline--maybe make Connell, WA it's own thread or open up Cottage Grove.

It would depend on what sort of weather they wanted. Khione took control of Alaska by sending a series of blizzards, followed by thaws, resulting in floods, to the northernmost regions of the state that drove the survivors south, where she could control them more effectively. We haven't been told this, but with a name like Snowfall, I think it's safe to assume this Epic uses cold weather as either an MO or a standing threat (and from your post describing Lightwards as "knee deep in snow during his conquest of Sacramento," I think it's probably the former). If both Khione and Snowfall control the weather by utilizing existing air current from the north, which would send warmer air currents in their place, then yes. I think it's safe to assume they are engaged in an ongoing struggle for control of the arctic air currents. And it's probably a good thing Lightwards hasn't sought an alliance with either of them.

"Calamity shone over the rooftops like a giant, evil traffic light that had murdered the green and yellow lights so it could float in the sky all a....wait a sec, where'd he go? He just kind of...fell. I swear I heard something scream in pain--was that him?"

Why not the dimensional double whose weakness is bad similes? Just have David talk to Calamity for a while and you're good.

She needs to lose to someone with a completely ridiculous name. Voidus, does the name Hingle McCringleberry speak to you?

Can they be Lucentia's sworn enemies?

I'd suggest Lemony Snicket if it wasn't taken.

Yes, but revenge can easily be reheated in the Microwave of Evil!

In case you were wondering: Yes. My version also ends with Angel turning to a defeated Timeport and saying, "'Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I'm the best that's ever been!"

Every time I imagine Angel and Timeport's eventual duel, I picture it set to

I had not yet seen the light! When I did, all changed. All former aspirations died in the glorious revelation of Savior Zero. You, who have embraced the abominable One Who Ate Nine, have rejected the light. If you visited the Sacred Outhouse, you would see nothing but blackness.

The heretic has hidden his true nature.

I might do that.

You already are, my friend. You're lucky Lucentia doesn't let the Financier wander as far as Texas. Very lucky indeed.

HERETIC AGENT OF THE ONE HIMSELF WE MUST SEEK OUT THE WOMAN WHO CAN MULTIPLY HERETICS BY ZERO MÖBIUS ONLY SHE CAN SAVE US

00000000000000000000 SAVIOR ZERO, PURIFY THIS THREAD 00000000000000000000

Foolish rebels, who do so by invoking the very likeness of the One we question! Don't we know the danger? Were he able, the Financier would multiply us all by zero to save the earth from our idiocy.

He would say that the One Who Ate Nine has deceived us into dedicating the thread to him. Next we will offer the One Who Ate Nine a boon of one by participating in Sequentialism, that black art by which HE has ensured all numbers after six will bring him ever-increasing offerings. The only way to stop it is to renounce Sequentialism, rename the thread after Savior Zero, and name the next thread after a number that is so far removed from the One Who Ate Nine that HE will reject the boon. A number like 199,353,091,534.0001. It's the only way to save ourselves.

Please excuse Firefight while she pukes.

I'm terrible with names, but here's a few desserts: Baklava Snickerdoodles Churros Oreo pizza