Kobold King

Vin 23 Preservation 6 Vasher 9

Lightwards might be convinced to calm down if someone gently tried to talk some reason into him. He won't be happy about working with Nighthound, but he might be convinced to suck up his hatred and join forces long enough to take down Altermind and the other key players.

Vin 19 Preservation 16 Vasher 15 That reminds me of something. I will use every weapon in my arsenal to defend Vasher.

Vin 18 Preservation 18 Vasher 16 I'm not giving up on having someone from Warbreaker survive this thing.

May be a moot point, as that's probably all that will be left of him once those party rockets / high caliber anti-aircraft guns / flames hit him.

Vin 17 Preservation 19 Vasher 19

The vehicle creaked and rocked as the burning Epic attempted to push it onto its side. Lightwards cursed. "Get the guns trained on him!" he ordered, buckling the seatbelts he had ignored until now. They were decorated with 'Hello Kitty' stickers, but they'd at least keep him from tumbling too badly. "Can't," the elder Ronson-Clarke said in a monotone. "What do you mean you can't?" Lightwards fumed. He took up position by the weapon controls, only to find that the zombie had a valid point. None of the weapons could turn enough to reach their attacker. "To Calamity with this!" he raged as his Epic assailant insulted his love life. He swung open the side door, aiming a rifle directly into his face. "YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO GET IN MY WAY!" he screamed. His fingers pulled the trigger several times and quick succession, causing Nighthound to stumble away from the vehicle in the midst of a thick blood splatter. As soon as Nighthound let go of the railing, the car swung violently in the opposite direction, causing Lightwards to be thrown backwards into the tank. The vulture broke his fall, but was crushed between him and the opposite side of the vehicle. "Get that door closed!" he yelled with a curse. Simon Regway swung it shut with an expression that showed none of the concern his master reeked of. Lightwards clambered into the driver's seat and began hurtling down the street, carefully avoiding the slick patches of maple syrup and burning oak. "Lock every weapon we have on that lunatic. I want his end of the street obliterated." At the slow, methodical sound of zombies pressing buttons, heavy-caliber gunfire, burning hairspray, and all remaining party rockets hurtled towards Nighthound's smokey shape.

Vin 15 Waxillium 0 (Sorry Dawnshot) Shallan 2 Immune: Preservation Vasher

Now I'm concerned over whether Thomas Cardinal kept a blog before Calamity. I'm considering posting Epic profiles for Möbius and Slaughterhouse. They're unlikely to appear in the RP, but I did put a substantial amount of work into planning them.

Looks like an awesome battle coming up! And the Ballad of Roshone's Revenge as a printed book... a very original (and epic) idea. I wonder how awesome the cover art will be. To the matter at hand: do we know who's Awakening these super soldiers? My best guess would be since he's the only skilled Awakener to reside nearby. The skill of the Awakener is likely to have a strong impact on the finished product, after all.

He speaks entirely in memes. He tells people "LOL" and "O Rlly" every second of every day. In all seriousness, these are some pretty awesome concepts! I'd love to see them in action.

So I guess you find the notion... Odious? Vin 13 Devotion 0 Waxillium 7 Shallan 5 Immune: Preservation Vasher

When you inadvertently start an Epic pony craze.

The most frightening "Hmmm" in the forum's history.

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if Funtimes' jet actually had that capability.

Vin 17 Devotion 3 Galladon 4 Waxillium 7 Shallan 4 Immune: Preservation Vasher

If the madness is so overwhelming you can't figure out what to do, just start blaring loud polka music with whatever happens to be available. Loud polka music solves a multitude of problems.

Well that's one way to carry out a carpet bombing, thought Lightwards with a smirk. Somewhere he was disturbed that he found the pun so funny, but he was too busy to worry about it at the moment. Nighthound tore his way out of the carpet, glaring at the tank and then sighing. “That answers my question, stupid clothes. Honestly, this is just getting ridiculous, I´m starting to feel sorry for you for having to put up with her." Lightwards decided to ignore that statement. The fact of the matter was that Funtimes, while annoying, was turning out to be far more useful than any Epic he'd ever teamed up with before. And if he was quite frank with himself, she was much more entertaining than old Slaughterhouse had been. "You are not in a position to feel pity," he boomed over the speaker. "These, Nighthound, are your final moments. Goodbye, little Epic--" His speech was cut off as the speaker let out a frazzled static, then switched to playing loud polka music. There goes my good will towards that idiot, Lightwards thought furiously as he banged the speaker. The music slowed to a stop. For a moment, he thought he saw a man with a little girl struggling not to laugh through the window of a nearby house. Lightwards grumbled and nudged the combat vehicle forward. He flipped the switches on what seemed to be the final weapons system on the tank. Two massive spouts swiveled to face the carpeted man, unleashing their internal canisters in a ferocious burst of flame. Within seconds, the air was filled with the smell of incinerating carpet and burning hairspray.

Vin 18 Devotion 3 Galladon 5 Waxillium 8 Shallan 4 Immune: Preservation Vasher (He´ll live forever.) Leras (I took him off since he's basically the same person as Preservation.)

Vasher 19 Vin 17 Devotion 7 Galladon 5 Waxillium 10 Shallan 3 Stick 0 Too late. Now it's fire. Immune: Preservation

Well it's good to see I have an abundance of choices. Can I do both?

Vasher 17 Vin 17 Devotion 8 Galladon 9 Waxilium 11 Shallan 3 Immune: Preservation

If you don't already spend your life pondering those two questions, you're living your life wrong. I'm more scared of you than I care to admit right now.

Vasher 16 Vin 17 Devotion 8 Galladon 9 Waxilium 10 Kaladin 1 Shallan 7 Immune: Preservation