Kobold King

Coinshot 13 Lurcher 10 Tineye 11 Rioter 1 Get 'im, boys. Soother 14 Slider 7 Aluminum Gnat 10 Duralumin Gnat 12 I'm supporting him for the lolz if he actually wins. Nicroburst 18 Thug 20

That would be sublime.

We should probably wait for Voidus' next post before continuing, as he may decide to take action with so many dinosaurs suddenly rampaging all over the place. So, relative sizes of Carnotaurus and Tapejara: Also, brief word of explanation about Lightwards' giddiness. When he dies, his mind suffers the exact same effect as his Warriors of Light. That effect is a heightened susceptibility to Lightwards' personal commands. In a normal Warrior, this manifests as a mindless obedience to Lightwards. In Lightwards himself, this makes him more susceptible to blindly carrying out his own impulses. He loses a bit of self control with every death, becoming more and more devoted to doing whatever he wants, no matter how delusional or insane this might be.

Lightwards strode into the other Epics' view alongside his Allosaurus, beaming from ear to ear. It had been a tired, weary Lightwards who had entered Portland just the previous evening. A weak Lightwards. He felt like a new man now, his head ablaze with new ideas. And with those new ideas, an even stronger conviction to his cause. The Allosaurus was even more magnificent than the bones had led him to believe. It stood twelve feet tall, and was almost forty feet long from the tip of its tail to the nostrils on its snout. Its hide was thick and pebbly, but graced with delicate black stripes like those of a tiger. The general dull coloration was starkly contrasted by the pair of short crests that were sported on the animal's head, which almost seemed to shine with a bright shade of scarlet. Possibly designed for attracting mates during the breeding season; it made Lightwards wonder whether he could launch a dinosaur breeding program to give him a constant supply of bones-- Reluctantly he pulled his attention away from the dinosaur and faced his fellow Epics. Funtimes was cheering, Traveler was whistling, and Nighthound was already pressing for a predator of his own. Lightwards soaked up the admiration before his eyes settled on Traveler's face. The teleporting Epic was whistling and applauding, but his face seemed distinctly uncomfortable. Lightwards recognized that face at once; he fancied that all professors, regardless of species, could recognize that face. It was the face of someone who wanted to seem more eager about something than he actually was. Jealousy, Lightwards thought dismissively. That's what it is. "There are all kinds of large carnivores here," Lightwards told Nighthound with enthusiasm. "I bet you'd love to own a Utahraptor of your very own, or a short-faced bear..." His face lit up. "No, I know exactly what you want." Lightwards half-ran, half-skipped towards another skeleton, a similarly large skeleton mounted by a potted plant. Its mouth was posed in a gaping maw, and a pair of horns jutted out from its skull. Lightwards put his hand on the rough stone skull, closing his eyes and focusing. It took only a minute for the feel of stone to vanish--instead, his fingers rested on coarse reptilian skin. The Carnotaurus shook itself to life, its eyes first wild and confused, then submissive. "Go nuzzle your new master," laughed Lightwards. The massive theropod bounded to Nighthound in three huge steps, thrusting its knobby snout into the Epic's face. "Do what you like with him," Lightwards told Nighthound. "He's yours. Let it never be said that Lightwards does not keep his promises." He turned to face the ludicrous duo, still smiling. "And I suppose you'll want something too." He glowered briefly. "Though you lost the last Warrior I loaned you. Alice Regway is probably still waiting in the car back in that suburb." He smiled again. "But then, I am suddenly a wealthy man, who worries not about returns on his loans." Lightwards snapped his fingers, and the Allosaurus flicked its head upwards, knocking a series of pterodactyl skeletons to the floor with a resounding clatter. He stepped among the shattered bone fragments, picking up a handful of skulls and using his miracle. A trio of Tapejara, large and ridiculous-looking pterosaurs, fell to the ground and began making confused alarm sounds. Their crests were comical in appearance, and all three seemed to sport a different color--one was orange, one was red, and one was bright yellow. Who would have guessed they have such a high degree of individual variance? Lightwards thought curiously. He relished the thought that he was the first human being to witness these creatures in the flesh, much less control them. There was only one thing still bothering him. When he'd first entered this place, he'd seen that strange purple man watching him from the shadows. He was not among the museum casualties, nor did he appear to be among the established members of the gang. So who was he and where had he scurried off to? But Lightwards brushed that thought to the back of his head. There was a part of him that warned him away from this cheeriness. That voice told him to be somber and dignified. This was, after all, the first day of a glorious empire that would soon cover the whole of Oregon, if not an even greater area. Surely such a momentous occasion warranted respect. But standing with living dinosaurs at his beck and call, basking in the glowing admiration he percieved (real or not) from the other Epics, feeling the strange sense of giddiness and power that filled him after each death... Lightwards found that he simply couldn't stop smiling.

It did indeed, though these slontzes killed it off quickly.

Is Purple Phoenix standing in plain sight at this point, or should we assume he's more hidden from the eyes of our team until he chooses to make himself seen?

Fun fact: one of the world's most famous Allosaurus skeletons was nicknamed "Big Al." Don't you dare ship it.

Just for general reference, this is what Allosaurus looks like in Walking with Dinosaurs, the program which I will be leaning on when describing the animal. And here's a size comparison between Allosaurus and a human being. The more you know.

Coinshot 14 Lurcher 10 Tineye 11 Thug 18 Smoker 1 Smoking is bad for you, after all. Rioter 6 Soother 16 Slider 9 Aluminum Gnat 10 Duralumin Gnat 13 Leecher 8 Nicroburst 14

Sounds like a solid plan.

If that's not enough to kill him, than I'd wonder how he hasn't taken over Oregon yet. I'll do so then. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the current wish list is: a Carnotaurus for Nighthound, a few Tapejara for Funtimes, maybe an extinct mammal or something for Traveler?

I know I've said this before, but... Calamity I love this game. Are we waiting for a PP reaction before continuing? Or shall I post a quick scene where Lightwards reanimates Nighthound and Funtimes' pets?

A certain kobold is still at 2543... (You're right LeftVash. This is kind of fun. )

Well, remember how in the Nighthound battle Funtimes made an anti-gravity system for her car? She's capable of making heavy things float in the air. Lightwards wants to make a fashionable entry into the world of Portland's heavy hitters, doing something dramatic and noticeable. What I'm saying is... We can create that, only covered in candy decorations on the outside and filled with dinosaurs on the inside.

Coinshot 14 Lurcher 10 Tineye 11 Thug 16 Smoker 6 Rioter 7 Soother 16 Oracle 0 Does this make me a hazekiller? Slider 9 Aluminum Gnat 10 Duralumin Gnat 14 Leecher 9 Nicroburst 14

Thanks. So... do we need another policy conference? Wherein we work out whether we ally with Purple Phoenix or try to kill him, and overall figure out our next move? The talk of Sky High gave me a wild idea on what to do with the museum, if Funtimes is up for it...

All right, all right. I'm convinced. I'll watch the series opener. I've seen quite a few episodes by this point, but I've either been viewing whatever episode my little sister happens to be watching at the moment, or I've sought out particular episodes that caught my interest online (such as "The Return of Harmony"). I've actually deliberately avoided watching these first episodes, since I'd imagined them in my mind's eye as weak, fluffy episodes that serve no other purpose than to set up a vague premise, with no independent value or merit of their own. But seeing such an enthusiastic run-down of the episodes is heartening. I will most definitely the time for a viewing (I already have a notion of how the Nightmare Moon storyline turns out though, since I was in the room while "Luna Eclipsed" was playing.)

Thanks. I've been looking for excuses to show Lightwards flashbacks for a while now. Either you or TwiLyght, I would think.

Finished--sorry it took so long.

Quickslide gingerly removed himself from the pile of broken glass he was laying on, brushing off the razor-sharp dust as he rose to his feet. He looked around warily, poised to defend himself from that elephant. The loud sound of gunfire brought a smile to his lips. Headshot had obviously found the turret, and a stream of guided bullets plunged themselves through the pachyderm's hide. Blood splattered on a slick floor as the elephant let out a dying bellow and collapsed to the ground, shaking the surrounding exhibits so much Quickslide thought they'd fall over. His smile disappeared when he glanced towards the entrance desk. There was a new Epic entering the building, a triumphant sneer on his face. In his hand he dragged a bloodied Blindside. Obviously, unmistakably dead. Quickslide let out a curse and started heading for the turret. Headshot and I can take him out, he thought determinedly. No question about it... He got a brief impression of that ridiculously outfitted woman slamming Headshot in the head, knocking to the floor with a loud cracking sound. Sparks! Quickslide looked fearfully from side to side, weighing up the Epic who slaughtered Blindside and the woman who'd cheerfully murdered Headshot. His options were not enviable. Then he saw a dusty professor clutching his side, limping his way towards the dinosaur hall. Perfect, he smiled nastily. You're not taking this museum without a fight. --------------- Lightwards drank down the ibuprofen gratefully, though rather annoyed that Traveler assumed he'd overdose. What am I, a toddler? Ignoring his more offended side, he climbed to his feet, gritting his teeth against the pain. The sound of gunfire had faded--with luck, Funtimes and Traveler had succeeded in bringing down Headshot. So he walked out of the gift shop clutching his side as he did so. He was pleased--or rather, not completely terrified--to see Nighthound dragging a savaged corpse into the building. With any luck, the unfortunate soul who'd attacked Nighthound would be Mr. Blindside, and not some random pedestrian who'd had the nerve to speak with him. Lightwards walked straight past his dead elephant, walking in a beeline for the part of the museum that specialized in dinosaurs. If any resident Epics were still engaging in active hostility, he'd need far greater firepower than an elephant to combat them. And so with a smile and a grimace, Lightwards walked through open doors into a hall that made his bruised heart sing. Skeletons were everywhere. He took it all in, naming species as he went. Carnotaurus. Homotherium. Allosaurus. Styracosaurus, Triceratops, Megatherium... With the smile of a toddler reaching for candy, Lightwards reached out to touch the ribcage of a particularly large predator. He slipped. The floor's solid surface lost all traction beneath his feet, depositing him painfully onto his backside. The fall alone would have smarted. But his hurt rib smacked hard against the tiles, making him scream loudly with the pain that burned through his body. Now thoroughly panicking, he tried to push himself up, only to feel another spike of agony erupting through his chest. He rolled to his side, panting heavily as he clutched at his increasingly shattered rib. Quickslide stood over him, his pistol contemptuously placed by his side as he slowly pressed his boot into Lightwards' side. "I'll say this much for you," the friction Epic said coolly, ignoring Lightwards' cry of pain. "You've got good taste in allies." Lightwards was flipped onto his back, eyes watering with the sensation of his injuries. "Blindside and Headshot are dead," Quickslide continued, glaring. "I don't feel too bad about it. They were insufferable people, really. But those allies of yours... they scare me." He grinned as he stomped Lightwards' chest, earning himself a desperate howl of torture. "Your allies are pretty great. You, on the other hand, are just a flimsy little miracle worker who can heal a dead elephant. Big sparkin' deal." Lightwards grabbed the side of a display case, trying to pull himself up. He was halfway up before the case became slick in his hand, causing him to lose his grip and crash back to the floor with a shot of pain. Quickslide pulled him up by the collar and smiled into his face. "I lost my allies. The knife-wielding psychopath and the ace shot. But I'll make sure the brute and the crazy lady lose their pet professor." He pushed Lightwards into a wall. He leaned against it, his eyes closed and his chest pumping up and down with ragged breath. "Stop," he mumbled pleadingly. "Just stop, leave me alone..." Quickslide laughed and let loose a hail of bullets into the crippled professor. The man shuddered as his body slid against the wall, and the laughing Epic fired a final shot into his head. The red spray that splattered over the carpet confirmed it. Lightwards was dead. Quickslide chuckled to himself and turned away, thinking of how best to go about defending the museum from the other Epics. ----------------------------------------------------- It would not be accurate to say Lightwards' life flashed before his eyes. Rather, his deaths flashed before his eyes. All of them. The first one, back in Sacramento. Students ran screaming from him, his fellow professors dropping dead with gunshots. He'd never forget the looks of panic and confusion on their faces as Thomas Cardinal walked among them, picking them off one by one with an assault rifle as he randomly pulled fellows from their number and brought them back to life, puppets to their murderer. Most of these students had never seen an Epic in person before, only having heard of the phenomenon on the news or in scientific journals. Back then Epics were an object of study. A scientific curiosity. Now they fled before one for their dear lives. Lightwards squatted to restore Sam Hodgie, a young man who's grades had never been particularly high. He'd be far more useful as a tool for Lightwards than as a thinking human being. Sacramento would soon be a place of superb efficiency and grandeur-- He cut off as another lad stepped into the room, an assault rifle of his own clutched in his hands. Jake Subbly. Wasn't he the boyfriend of that one girl Lightwards had shot? He was pretty sure. They were always smooching in the halls, it made him sick-- "Professor Cardinal," Jake said nervously. "That's not my name anymore." Thomas Cardinal took a step forward, eyeing the young man cautiously. Surely he wasn't planning on using that weapon? "I am called Lightwards now." Jake Subbly watched him back with a look of anguish, fear, and revulsion. "Why?" he breathed. "Because everything I taught you is right," Lightwards explained softly. "Nature is predicated on a delicate balance between life and death. A major disruption could ruin everything. But I form a link, a bridge if you will, between life and death. I can stop nature from falling. I can minimize the damage done by all these other Epics rampaging about. But to do that, I need bodies." He pointed his own rifle at Jake. "You can help." Jake Subbly was too fast. Before he could raise his own, Jake lifted his own rifle and fired. Lightwards was shocked as the crack of a gun broke through the air. He was even more shocked at the large hole now in his immaculately cleaned professor's coat. Finally, he was most shocked of all at the bullet that now resided in his heart. He looked at Jake Subbly with a look of fury, raised his weapon-- And collapsed from immediate heart failure. ---------------------------------------- Lightwards was falling. He had the vague sensation of being high within the sky, falling through clouds and whooshing towards the ground. But before he ever reached the ground, he found himself high within the sky again. It was a Mobius loop. His fall started sky high, and before he ever hit the ground his fall began anew. Lightwards let out a scream of terror. Was this what she intended to do? Let him fall forever in one of her loops, with nothing but the whooshing air surrounding him? Through his own screams he heard her laughter. He must have thoroughly annoyed her for her to do this--she usually avoided direct confrontations. "Stop!" he screamed as he fell. "Please, just let me be! I've done nothing to you!" "You tried to kill me," a taunting voice shot back. "Shot at me, as I understand it. As if you thought that would do any good." "I was a fool," he let out as he fell. "Just let me down--" "Feeling weak, Lightwards?" The voice seemed to come from all around his narrow, never-ending fall. "You always are, you know. Most of the Epics I kill are at least able to defend yourselves. When you don't have any of those idiot zombies with you, you're just an average, weak little human." Mobius laughed again, the harsh sound of it overpowering even the sound of Lightwards' constant shriek. "I don't even have to use your weakness to dominate you, Lightwards. You're a pathetic little man." "I am!" Lightwards screamed. "Truly, there is no one as powerful as you! Not Regalia on the east coast, nor Steelheart in his city! You are the most powerful Epic!" "This isn't about assuaging my ego," Mobius replied with a hint of disgust. "Honestly, if you're going to just scream the obvious from the top of your lungs, maybe I should just leave you like this." "No!" "The point is, Lightwards, that I want to kill you. You will die. If I just let anyone annoy me and walk away, I wouldn't have a kingdom now would I?" "Just put me down," he yelled, pleadingly. "I'm begging you, don't leave me like this." "Fine, fine. You want down so badly? Have it your way." Lightwards' vision showed him the ground rushing towards him. He expected to once again find himself looped through space to the height of his fall, but instead it continued rising up. "Wait!" he cried. "This isn't what I--" Lightwards collided with the rocky ground, his body bouncing across the hillside with a series of cracking sounds. All the momentum he'd builtup in his constant fall discharged at once, spreading a cloud of dust from his impact crater. A dark-haired woman wearing rugged attire walked over to the broken corpse. She nudged it with a booted foot, satisfying herself with the jelly-like feel of the man's skeleton. It wasn't until long after Mobius left that Lightwards' bones restitched and he got back up, head swimming with new concepts. --------------------------------------------- These visions flashed through Lightwards' mind as darkness pressed around him. His head felt so terrible. The pain in his side was so great it seemed to consume the entire universe. He was dying. And a part of him wanted to, just so the pain of death and existence would be over. Fortunately, it was a small part. There was a light at the end of a tunnel. Lightwards moved towards the light, like he'd done twice before. --------------------------------------------- Quickslide peered out of the dinosaur hall, watching the next level. Sparks, there was another Epic there. A purple one wearing a bowler hat. As far as he could tell, he'd just blown up Hotwire. He was preparing to go out and fight the new Epic when he heard a shuffling sound from behind him. "What the Calamity--" he began, but never finished. Lightwards, the broken professor, was standing upright, his stance showing no sign of a broken rib and shot-up ribcage. For that matter, there was no sign of a bullethole in his head. Lightwards smiled at him, his expression showing a slightly smoother expression and more pronounced confidence than before. "I am Lightwards," the man said, taking a step forwards. "I am never weak. Weakness is my strength. Death is my life." His hand touched the boney leg of a dinosaur skeleton. "And this is my Warrior." Quickslide's eyes nearly popped as he watched the fossilized dinosaur start to shake, the metal wires that framed the skeleton dropping to the floor with scattered clinks. Thin air was obscured as marbled flesh grew up around the bones. Grey scales with black stripes appeared, and an enormous head filled with razor-sharp fangs began to rear itself. There was a massive predatory dinosaur standing before Quickslide. He scarcely let out a scream before the animal lunged forward, catching his body in its powerful jaws. It ran forward with the frightened Epic screaming in its jaws. There was a crunch as Quickslide's body lost all structural integrity, quickly swallowed in bite-sized giblets that disappeared in the reptiles' gullet. The animal, a fully grown Allosaurus , let out a triumphant roar that echoed through the museum halls.

That's fine. I'm writing my post now.

Maybe there's some kind of restaurant on an upper floor with a window seat? I could see her waiting out the fight there, trying to escape once things started clearly going downhill (maybe PP could take her out?) And yes, Quickslide does not have much longer in this world. Nobody wants to see a malnourished dinosaur, right?

I'll post as soon as I'm on a computer and can type properly (I hate trying to write long posts on a mobile touchpad.)

Did TwiLyght just RAFO us? Good night y'all.

I wonder if one of Funtimes' weaknesses is being bored. I was going to try writing the next sequence, but unfortunately I won't have power for the rest of the evening and it will have to wait until tomorrow. You guys do whatever you need to do until then.