Kobold King

Fight the good fight. I believe so. Pretty much I would do for my next turn is ask him to stop trashing the place, though.

Coinshot 3 Coinshots have too much going for them. Steelpushing is the most emphasized Allomantic ability in the original trilogy, and Wax is a Coinshot. It's about time somebody knocked them down a peg. Lurcher 7 Lurchers, on the other hand, have nothing but random mooks and Ranette to their name. Soother 10 Nicroburst 20 Thug 20

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My strategy is to guess absolutely everything in the hope that one random guess will turn out to be accurate. So without further ado-- Calamity is an Epic, and the Epic phenomenon is caused by something unrelated. Calamity is man-made. Calamity is not man-made. Calamity was built by aliens. Calamity is an ascended A.I. Calamity is ultimately attempting to make humanity stronger. Calamity is one of the Shards of Adonalsium. Calamity is the Flying Spaghetti Monster (credit to TwiLyghtSansSparkles). Calamity was caused by one of the earliest Epics, and the real cause is hidden. Calamity is magic. Calamity is scientific. Calamity is a metaphor. A very bad metaphor. Calamity is a giant glowing trollface. Calamity is more awesome than we currently understand. Calamity is actually kind of lame up close. Calamity is made of fairy dust. Calamity is important. Calamity is unimportant. Calamity is bees. Calamity is Jane. Calamity is a window into the future: specifically into the third book, Calamity. Well, I'm out of ideas now. Anyone else?

It popped into my head the second Funtimes made the candy-coated tank. See? Dinosaurs are the ultimate problem solvers.

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Isn't everything Funtimes does unexpected? Also, a proposal for our new theme song.

You sound like the old university president.

Why would she do that? Lightwards makes learning fun for everybody.

People assume time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of... wibbly-wobbly, hatty-tatty... stuff.

Listen Very Carefully, a Lightwards x Paleontology story: Ahem. That is definitely our new theme song. Your grandfather was a wise man.

And together, they essentially make up Discord. If you use the words "saurischian" and "ornithischian" people will automatically assume you know what you're talking about. The key to being knowledgeable isn't necessary knowing your topic; rather, simply appearing to know more than your audience is quite often good enough.

Corn yellow, obviously-- I mean, how dare you defile my creations with your ridiculous bowler hats!

That picture portrays Coelophysis as fuzzy, but there is substantial debate whether or not protofeathers had evolved in typical saurischians by the Late Triassic period... * notices a distinct lack of interest and shuts up * We'll let Voidus describe it however he likes.

Hotwire slowly sat up, rubbing her aching head and trying to see past the stars that swirled in her vision. That purple man was more dangerous than she'd thought. She needed to get the rest of the Bone Burglars together... Oh wait. They were dead. Though she couldn't see worth a spark, she could hear unfamiliar voices not far from her. There was also a loud crashing sound, as if the current occupiers had set about trying to destroy the place. She gritted her teeth at the thought that the museum had been taken right from under them. She still wasn't sure how it all had happened. She shakily got to her feet, straightening her headdress and trying to blink her vision back. One thing was certain, there was no way she was letting these slontzes steal her museum. In her mind, she got a lock on the location of every car in the museum and immediately outside. Plenty of the vehicles were wrecked by the foundations of the building--she could easily activate the car bombs hidden in every one of them and bring down half, if not more, of the museum. She smiled as the thought of these clowns getting buried in the rubble, while she herself ingeniously escaped through the back door. She smiled wider as her vision returned, splotchy but definitely usable. She looked askance at a peculiar grey pillar she hadn't remembered being here before. She looked up its length-- It wasn't a pillar. It was the leg of a massive animal. "Kill her," a voice said absent-mindedly. The Allosaurus thrust its head down in a quick, smooth movement and clamped her in its jaws. ---------------------------------------------------------- "No, no, no!" said Lightwards, stamping his foot. "I said kill her, not completely devour her!" Vincenzo the Allosaurus dutifully began coughing up fragments of its latest meal, spreading a perfectly vile mess on the floor. Between the gory dinosaur vomit and Nighthound's insistence on trashing the place, Lightwards almost wanted to find a new HQ. But no... it had to be a museum. He turned to face Funtimes again, looking at the hat she'd made appraisingly. It actually wasn't that bad. Obviously the daisy would be going to the first herbivorous dinosaur he came across, but the rest was actually quite nice. Smiling slightly at his strange ally, he took the hat and placed it on his head in a smooth motion. An Epic should stand out from a crowd. An Epic should not look like a professor who's lost his job. "My attire can wait," he told the Doctor, smiling at Purple Phoenix. "Welcome to the Empire of Light, newcomer. Stick with us, and we'll show you marvelous things. Fight by our side, and you'll earn marvelous things." He laid his hand on a smaller, more lightly built skeleton. A Coelophysis shook itself, rearing a delicately built head on the end of a long, graceful neck. Its mouth glittered with razor sharp teeth. It seemed to walk with quick, precise movements. "He's yours," Lightwards informed the man, sending the smaller dinosaur his way. "A token of good will." With that, he turned to face Funtimes. "Now, my dear... if I might, I have a small request." He twirled his bowler hat in his hands and leaned in closer. "Remember that fight where we met Nighthound? I seem to recall you creating a wonderful system for defying gravity. It made for a very interesting car, but I think we could do better..." He leaned in even closer, whispering the rest in the Doctor's ear.

Who would? Coelophysis alright? It's small, but PP could definitely acquire bigger and better dinos as time goes on. EDIT: Wrong picture.

Voidus, does Purple Phoenix want his own pet?

The beards... the beards... the economy... Does anyone have any qualms about me finishing off Hotwire?

With these at our disposal... OUR ENEMIES WILL COWER IN TERROR!

When you offer people cookies as they pass by your dark alley.

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Best. Description. Ever. Also, this is apparently a thing now.

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I take offense at that; some of my best friends have been jellies. They're sweet and generous people, and they'll always help you if you're in a jam. C.