Kobold King

Kobold King 14 On the bright side, I've been hidden from those who would do me harm. I should do this on purpose sometimes. WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 12 Tempus 1 Edgedancer 9 Mailliw73 4 The Only Joe 16 PorridgeBrick 13 GreyPilgrim 13 Voidus 20 Observer 20 TwiLyghtSansSparkles 20

... Why am I no longer on the list? Was I killed off while I was offline?

Thank you. Fortunately, it doesn't look like it'll be an issue for much longer. I'm getting a new laptop that soon arrive in just a day or so. If only raptors could talk, they could use their superior sense of hearing to spy on your conversation and report back. Sigh.

Wetness. Lightwards stiffened immediately, a foul-smelling fluid drenching his body and chilling him to the bone. The liquid clinging to his body made him want to retch, and he involuntarily pulled his coat around his now bare and gasoline-soaked chest. With a cry of outrage, he jerked his head towards Funtimes, intending to begin a hearty rant at her idiocy. But the rant died on his lips at the sight of her face. Doctor Funtimes was smiling, but it was not the ditzy smile he was accustomed to. It was something darker. Sinister, even. Lightwards licked his lips nervously. "You hurt my friend," she said simply, her arms folded across her chest as she locked her eyes with his. "And you said you were my friend, but friends don't hurt friends." One of the raptors began to approach Funtimes menacingly, but a glance from Lightwards cut it off. It was certain that whatever attack the raptor could launch wouldn't put so much as a scratch on the angry Epic in front of him. "Now," Funtimes said softly, absently playing with a ribbon from her sweater. "I don't know anymore. If you're his friend, then you're mine, too, and I can turn your shirt into raspberry jelly and make you some toast. But if you're not..." The ribbon became a shining purple lighter in her hand. "Are you friend?" she asked sweetly. Lightwards stared from her face to her lighter in quick succession, his eyes wide. He'd never seen this level of malice from her. Realistically, he'd known she'd had it in her. She was an Epic, after all. She only really showed it when you pressed one of her buttons. Purple Phoenix, evidently, was one of those buttons. A button which should be avoided at all costs. Lightwards did his best to smile. "Of course," he said slowly, nodding his head. "Perhaps I was a touch... hasty with my actions." He made a gesture, and the raptor hopped off of Phoenix and stood by its master's side. "We're all friends here," he stated nervously, glancing from Funtimes to Purple Phoenix. "Perhaps--as friends--we could have a reasonable chat. Explain ourselves. Where we come from. Our goals. Et cetera."

I'm trying to, but I am experiencing technical difficulties. My computer keeps crashing at random.

I'll write up a quick reaction, then Voidus can introduce the Protector to us all. Allons-y.

I have no objections. His consciousness would likely be more likely to keep their shared body alive.

Kobold King 15 Quiver 8 Gamma Fiend 6 WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 14 Tempus 8 Edgedancer 10 Shivertongue 8 Mailliw73 10 The Only Joe 14 PorridgeBrick 15 GreyPilgrim 12 Voidus 20 Observer 20 TwiLyghtSansSparkles 20 EDIT: I happened to notice Tempus viewing this page, making me feel suddenly self-conscious...

I don't know what "that" kind of doctor is. Doctor who? Shall I go next?

This would only cause decapitation via Deinonychus foot. I will brace myself for the Oncoming Storm.

With these things being the case, perhaps TwiLyght should go next, having Funtimes intervene?

So there we have it. Lightwards goes through... shall we say, violent mood swings after a death. And they become more and more frequent with each passing mortality. But I wouldn't worry too much about Purple Phoenix. A few bandages on that leg and it'll be good as new. And the raptor shouldn't be too hard to get rid of. Hilarity ensues...? Or should I edit it to be a little less aggressive?

I'm not sure if I should be intrigued or terrifying at the thought of a fully metamorphosed Brandon Sanderson.

Kobold King 15 Quiver 8 Gamma Fiend 6 WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 15 Shardlet 2 Tempus 10 Edgedancer 10 Shivertongue 8 Mailliw73 10[/color] The Only Joe 13 PorridgeBrick 14 GreyPilgrim 12 Voidus 20 Observer 20 TwiLyghtSansSparkles 20

"YOU TOOK CONTROL OF MY BODY?" All noise and motion of the alley stopped abruptly. The only sound to be heard were Lightwards feet stepping backwards and Remington Springfield chuckling to himself. Lightwards retreated a few paces backwards, stuttering in confusion. "What? Me? I didn't--" Even Funtimes the un-taken-aback-able was taken aback. Her face scrunched up through several different emotions, finally settling on a look of concern. "I didn't do that," she said slowly, her eyes fixed on the purple-wearing man. Lightwards looked in quiet bewilderment at his associate. His eyes narrowed at Phoenix's suddenly self-conscious expression. The other Epic was either completely insane, or was willing to feign insanity to weasel his way out of uncomfortable questions. No, Lightwards thought with a sudden fury. I put up with too much from these psychopaths I work with. Time to put my foot down. In this case, putting his foot down meant putting his hand up and snapping his fingers. One of the Deinonychus heard the snapping and leaped to Phoenix's side in a single lightning-fast bound. Before he could react, the raptor slashed one of his legs with its lethal claw, opening a blood-gushing gash just above the man's ankle. A red stain spread over the purple pants leg as Phoenix let out a brief cry of pain. A lot of Epics had an almost unnatural quickness to their movements, but even Nighthound would have had difficulty matching a determined raptor when it came to swiftly executed acts of violence. Purple Phoenix was roughly shoved to the ground, a raptor claw by his throat in less time than it took to blink. Lightwards himself was a little surprised by the speed--he'd assumed the raptors would have moved more slowly, as he favored the theory of ectothermic saurischians. Clearly this implied a stable homeotherm... Scholarly thoughts floated to the back of his mind as he approached the pinned Epic. Phoenix would likely blast the dinosaur to smithereens as soon as he realized what was going on, but Lightwards was determined to make himself heard before that happened. "Listen to me, you slovenly bearded schizophrenic," he hissed, leaning into Phoenix's face. "Unexplained things are circling around you like vultures. If you have any intention of surviving this alliance in one piece, you had best start explaining them. Tell me everything you know about that shadow Epic. Tell me why you believe someone took over your body, if indeed that's what you believe. And tell me in clear terms why you planted explosives in my building." He gave another smile, and the raptor pressed its foot onto Phoenix's neck slightly. "And if you answer me with crazed outbursts again, I will take you apart and put you back together as a much more cooperative person."

That may have to wait, because I'm quite serious when I say there's raptor violence going on. Don't worry, nothing too permanent. Lightwards spends all his time around lunatics and occasionally needs to vent a little...

Don't worry, I'm an expert on aggressive legal strategies. This one's called "Raptor Ankle Violence" and I'm writing it up now.

Kobold King 14 Quiver 10 Gamma Fiend 6 WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 14 Shardlet 4 Tempus 10 Edgedancer 10 Shivertongue 8 Mailliw73 9 The Only Joe 13 PorridgeBrick 13 GreyPilgrim 17 Voidus 20 Observer 20 TwiLyghtSansSparkles 20

As it happens, I was originally planning on having Lightwards grow more suspicious of Nathan because of the relative tameness he treats his servants with, even putting up with backtalk and bad attitude. But ultimately, Lightwards simply couldn't process the idea that a normal human was successfully tricking everyone into thinking he was an Epic. It would take much stronger evidence than a hint of kindness to make Lightwards figure out he's not actually an Epic. Also, Voidus: way to use the "YOU TOOK CONTROL OF MY BODY DEFENSE." I don't think anyone in the alley could have anticipated that classic move.

Kobold King 13 Swimmingly 4 Aether 0 Quiver 10 Gamma Fiend 6 WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 13 Shardlet 6 Tempus 10 Edgedancer 10 Shivertongue 8 Mailliw73 9 The Only Joe 13 PorridgeBrick 12 GreyPilgrim 17 Voidus 20 Observer 20 TwiLyghtSansSparkles 20

It's actually not a bad guess. To Lightwards, it makes some sense that an Epic would disguise his powers for a edge over his enemies. It would not make sense to him than that one normal human would mouth off to an Epic, and that another would actually pretend to be an Epic.

Post number 379: In Which Nathan's Secret is Discovered.

"He might know where he went," the Traveler said smoothly. "And we were about to track him down before you so rudely interrupted us." The raptors let out a hiss, sensing their master's irritation. Lightwards opened his mouth to retort, but a voice from the end of the alley cut him off. "Hello again," said Purple Phoenix cheerfully. "Anyone seen my hat?" Lightwards took a few angry steps toward the man, but Funtimes rushed past him with an enormous smile stretched across her face. "You're here! You're here and you're okay and you didn't blow up and I have your hat and you—" She paused, her hands on her hips. "You singed your beard!" she admonished. Purple Phoenix smiled warmly and launched into an explanation. "Hmm? Oh yes I suppose I did, small mishap, forgot that I was carrying explosives when I fell..." Lightwards eyes nearly popped out from sheer rage when he heard the man's blatant admission of his explosives, but he forced himself to stay calm and keep listening. Maybe the man actually had a valid reason for placing the explosive. More likely, the man would soon suffer a long and painful death for his betrayal. He'd let Nighthound do the worst of it, of course. Lightwards himself didn't want to be too close when the man started begging for death from a pool of his own blood... Phoenix's voice dwindled to a low whisper, blending with the conspiratorial tones from Traveler and Springfield. There was something slightly off in the way they behaved. Lightwards frowned, temporarily distracted. Traveler acted as if he were one of the more vain and annoying Epics, but he was whispering to his servant with no trace of contempt or intimidating posture. If anything, it was the armed redneck that was the more contemptuous. The realization hit Lightwards like a brick. Traveler treated his servant not like a pet like most Epics were prone to doing, but almost as an equal. There was only one possible reason for that. The two of them, in a sense, were equals. Remington Springfield was a disguised Epic. Feeling slightly more confident having discovered Traveler's little secret, Lightwards stepped forward to Purple Phoenix with a hostile smile on his face. "What I wonder," the professor stated loudly. "Is why one of your explosives was lodged behind a wall tile back in the Museum. The way I see it, any explosives you carry on your person should stay on your person. Not hidden in strategic architectural points within your allies' headquarters."

Don't sweat it GM. I'm killing PP in my next turn, but I'm first shaving his beard and gluing it to a raptor.

Kobold King 12 I couldn't agree more. I'll find a new target. Swimmingly 6 Aether 4 Quiver 10 Gamma Fiend 6 WeiryWriter 10 Fifth of Daybreak 8 LeftVash 13 Shardlet 6 Tempus 10 Edgedancer 10 Shivertongue 8 Mailliw73 8 Voidus 20 The Only Joe 13 PorridgeBrick 12 GreyPilgrim 17