Kobold King

So here's the terrifying thing about the Museum of Natural Awesomeness: Emphasis added. It appears that the dinosaurs are growling and bellowing every now and then, and at least one of them appears to be mobile enough to move around through the jungle. The question is... where do they get the motivation? A human Warrior won't even sleep or take a break without being told. Claudius the vulture, Mr. Miko the tailor... they're completely without volition of their own. Alice Regway couldn't even think until she was told to. So how come the raptors seem aware of their imprisonment, and fight against it? How are the dinosaurs capable of acting of their own free will? I have my own theory, but I'm open to suggestions. Because this seeming inconsistency is at once confusing and distinctly unsettling. Why can't Lightwards maintain a solid grip on the dinosaurs?

Posted. I'm tired, so the writing style is kind of... bleh. Hopefully it's not so bleh that nobody feels like reading it. Mailliw, was the sluggish woman that Electro shot at Alice Regway, or one of the many other zombie-like constructs roaming the city at the moment?

There was silence for a moment before the roar of a chainsaw echoed from above. Soon a cloud of red crystal dust shook down over the gathered humans, as the roar died down. "We're heading into Portland," Traveler's voice proclaimed. "Get what you need and we'll go." "Great," groaned Sam in response. "I can't express how anxious I am to be back. I've really been missing Nighthound's innuendos and that creepy raptor that wants to eat me." "We'll keep that leering freak of nature away from you," Revolution replied with a smooth smile on her face. "And that raptor can keep his distance too." ------------------------ It was a quiet Portland that Traveler teleported them into. The sidewalk was grey and the trees were orange, with hardly a sound but the cool autumn wind rustling dry leaves. Sam shivered and turned to Revolution. "I haven't seen the streets this empty in a while." Revolution nodded. "It's probably because of the Empire gang. When new Epics take over a town, the people lay low for a few days until they've seen how violent they are. Considering the displays Lightwards and Nighthound showed them, I bet they'll be staying indoors for at least a week." Sam nodded. "The people around here are pretty good at not being slaughtered. Most of the time." Nearby Funtimes was giving instructions to the Unicyclist, in the midst of a sudden rain of pancakes. "With any luck," Revolution said with a wry smile. "Their future has more pancakes in store than dinosaurs." "Agreed." Traveler and Remington emerged from Mr. Miko's Clothing Shop, which was still running for some reason despite the lack of customers. And in the blink of an eye, they were gone again. ------------------------ The Portland Museum of Natural History--dubbed "Museum of Natural Awesomeness" by Hotwire and "MoNA" by Funtimes--was just as jungle-ridden as before. The sound of a gurgling tropical river bubbled from nearby, and low growls and trumpets would occasionally blare from deeper in the foliage. A dozen yards ahead, Lightwards was amiably chatting with a blindfolded assassin and a woman that made Sam look tan. "We're here!" exclaimed Funtimes cheerfully, both arms raised in the air. Remington gave a mock salute, and Traveler gave a smile which seemed to convey substantially more malice than usual. Lightwards spared them a cursory glance, then turned back to his companions. "Allow me to introduce my allies," he said loudly. "The bright one is Doctor Funtimes, and her smiling boyfriend is called Traveler. The others are her pets. Take special note of the barefoot Goth over there--she'll probably step on something poisonous before too much longer, so make the most of her acquaintance now." Revolution shot Sam a skeptical glance. "I must have forgotten the shoe sometime after the near-death experience," Sam explained defensively. Even from across the clearing, she could see a victorious smile flicker across Lightwards' face. Sam glared. Oh, there's a whirlwind of snark coming your way. The woman in Edwardian dress looked unimpressed. "This... Lightwards," she began dismissively, "declares himself the leader of this place. And yet I have never heard of him. This does not exactly give one much confidence in the man." She strode gracefully across the room, collecting two razor-sharp pins that were still sticking out from the wall. She wiped them delicately with a cloth and stowed them away in her sleeve. A lady who carries weapons in her sleeve, Aldo thought with a smile. I can get behind that. She continued. "As for my powers, I will let you believe what you will, but I will not join or fight anyone until I know what we can get out of it. Does he have some sort of laboratory facilities? What currency does he use? Where would we live if we join? And if we fight... Well the questions in that field depends on what you suggest to do with my Jeffy. And be warned--there are very few right answers." Aldo stepped forward with a placating gesture. "I assure you that Lightwards is an Epic of unparalleled intelligence and skill." Cricket snorted, but did so quietly enough for Aldo to ignore her. "The reason you have not heard of him before is because he is a new player in town--a player who has already staked out an enormous stretch of the city, recruiting some of the most powerful Epics in town. You want laboratory facilities? In a day he had his museum remade into a jungle that looks fresh out of the Jurassic. You want currency? An Epic in his employ can make gold out of grass or rubies out of pebbles. And last but not least, let me assure you once more that your Jeffy is perfectly safe in our company." Aldo fixed the lady with a confident stare and a warm smile. "Epics of your supernal skill are always in demand. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to let me introduce you to Emperor Lightwards, and you can work out an arrangement with him for yourself."

Don't look now Voidus, but you're so 1337 Hoid can't compete.

It doesn't help that I'm exhausted from said farm tasks and wish nothing more than to curl up with a book somewhere. But as Edgedancer said, it's best to post now before even more events pile up. I wonder if I could just characterize Sam and Revolution as being unobservant to lighten my load?

Yep. I milk a goat every day, I perform various chicken-related chores like egg collecting, and I do garden work. Today I've been helping gather firewood for this winter.

I for one enjoyed that episode immensely. Hope you get a chance to see it soon. Every time I've sat down with the intention of writing an Oregon post today, I've been interrupted by various farm tasks. I'm trying again now though--wish me luck.

Don't forget The Scotsman and The Colored Kidney as possible names. I have not yet seen Listen. With any luck I'll get to watch it tonight. (And with any luck I'll be able to post on the Oregon thread soon. Having a busy day so far.)

When you read the tags on topics just to find gems like this and this.

Ah, I remember that part. That's when Lightwards retreats to his room, and Nighthound sits outside the door singing "Do You Want to Conquer Portland."

"Funtimes," Lightwards fumed, "Stop turning my Museum into an elaborate gerbil political farce!" Chicago Joe took another swig of whiskey. "If ya ask me, them politicians were already a farce. Can ya believe they expected us to buy into that moon landing mumbo jumbo?" "Nobody asked you!"

"Really? Another gerbil? We've got more rodents up here than Hamelin already!" "But his are gross! President Johnson here is way cuter than those nasty rats." "And for the love of Pete, stop naming them after Lyndon Baines Johnson!"

"It only turns back if you put on the mask and sing 'My Country 'Tis of Thee' while juggling. No, I'm not doing so right now. We'll just find that spare copy I left somewhere."

Lightwards: Um, actually, we do have rules and government. It's all here in our founding charter... * trails off as Funtimes scowls * Lightwards: Storm it. Just grab a bowler hat and meet me in the disco lounge.

Probably not on purpose, but he could definitely end up drawing its attention as he makes his way through that part of town. I'm pretty sure he's male. Though I confess I'm not even entirely sure which player is in charge of him, so what do I know.

I suppose it was inevitable for our meta-obsession to worm its way into the story. There's no better way to let Toymaker cross the Moral Event Horizon than allowing him to make evil Derpy dolls.

Probably not, no. I feel like most of my current scene is just regurgitating what everyone else has written from a different point of view. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's still tricky to read through a bunch of preceding posts to get all the details right. And also, can I express my continued surprise that Remington of all people is the most familiar with My Little Pony in the whole RP? I feel like we should have Toymaker send a legion of evil Derpy dolls after him, so we can watch the angst unfold.

Um... I was pretty sure it's just an Epic who really likes pink. I doubt there's any kind of hidden joke there.

Um, I think? I think there's a lot of stuff I still need to do. I'll try to get to it here soon. Maybe when Lightwards enters the city later? He'll need to recruit Chicago Joe and Backtrack at that time, but I bet some minor Epic fights could be squeezed in. Provided no one objects to another horrendously violent man-eating dinosaur scene.

Ah, I see you've been peaking at "What Happened in Oregon" Page 38, in which Funtimes tries to give Sam THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. Chicago Joe as a pinata worked about as well as expected--making Nighthound a clown and coercing him into making balloon animals backfired a little bit.

Ooh. I think I actually had a thought on this when I first adopted him, but I can't remember what it was anymore... If I had to make an educated guess, I'd say it would work something like Lucentia's diamond. Not technically alive, but still under a conscious control. Or, a slightly more interesting idea, maybe she could change his substance but not directly alter his shape. So with her help he could become a diamond statue, or a cheese statue, or a bubble gum statue. If we really wanted to get fancy, we could arrange so that every time she transfigures him, she adds a new potential material to his repertoire; so if she turned him into a cheddar sculpture, he could permanently gain the ability to become a cheddar statue at will from then on. It's definitely an interesting thought.

Probably. In the Chicago Joe x Ray x Whiskey love triangle, whiskey wins Joe's affections without a moment's second thought.

Welcome back! And I agree. Let's keep Oregon weird.