Kobold King

Lightwards wakes up feeling substantially less sane than he was the night before, with multiple splashes of his own blood scattered throughout the house. Also, has anyone noticed that we're at page 98 already? Are we going to make a third Question page after we reach 100, or will we go up to 150 or 200?

The Dark Alley's a bit quiet. Suspiciously quiet.

Prompting Drunk!Lightwards to burst into tears, leaning even more heavily on Remington than he already was.

Now Voidus, you know we can't show Drunk!Sam in the RP. Showing an underage girl under the influence of an alcohol Epic would send a negative message to our viewers.

That will be interesting to see. Hmm... I think I get the gist of what you're talking about, but it's rather hard to do with the creator. For me, at least--I'm hardly an expert. Here are a few more tries at getting it right: In case another intrepid ponifier wishes to give Intervention a whirl, here's his pony code: 3J3X0P1300C5C5BD2E000002000520000UL1936200040021900C0C0BFF7FFF04107F3FCC004CB2 And once again, happy birthday Mailliw.

Unicyclist pony... yeah, the mere thought is already making my brain explode. But it's Mailliw's birthday! And so I present an Intervention pony, Mark I. I'm open to criticism. I tried to keep his appearance in keeping with the goatee'd assassin archetype he's got going for him, and I threw in a dark red reminiscent of wine whenever I could.

Clearly it's the work of the High Epic Chevroulette, who can make random vehicles of all shapes and sizes rain from the sky in any given area. I put together Mark I models for ponified Fade and Max:

The two Maxes, I believe, are Max Kennon of the Black Fist and Maximilian Black, AKA the Sandman. (It occurs to me that none of Fatebreaker's characters have thus far been ponified... I'll have to get on that.)

Oh... I forgot all about the bloodied ear. Maybe Ray had her head turned at first, so her savaged ear wouldn't be visible? I could mention her turning her head and making it visible in the next post. Asking Voidgaze about pretty much anything seems to result in a bubbly conversation derailing.

As the writer, I suspected that she would irritate Ray to no end. In character... One of the things that separates Sam and Revolution is that Revolution shares a lot of beliefs with the Faithful; she believes in good Epics. Sam doesn't. Sam has a hatred of Epics that might not be as fierce as Remington's, but has deeper roots because they were instilled in her at such an early age. Right now she pities Ray, even deciding to strike up a friendly conversation with her, but in her mind Ray's as bad as any other Epic. She'll admit that Ray hasn't committed any heinous atrocities, but mentally she tags the admission with a big "yet." That's actually one of the reasons I haven't posted the next segment yet. Sam's more inclined to see Ray losing her temper not as a traumatized woman lashing out from abuse, but as an Epic contemptuously dismissing a perceived inferior. I'm trying to figure out a way to write Sam here that doesn't come across as a Kick the Dog moment enough to make her completely unlikable.

"Reaching still further into the depths of ancient Oregonian mythology, we find myriad references to the One Who Unicycles, an entity so strange, so absurd, that any god who gazed upon it's featureless black mask would be rendered speechless for hours at a time. His consort was the beautiful fiery-haired goddess, Ray Creepsbane. "Another reference of note is of the religion's high priest, Joe of Chicago. A statue of the man is still situated in our most secure museum, shown off for the masses. A curious superstition regarding the statue is the claim that it has periodically come to life through the centuries, asking puzzled museum guards whether a drink called 'whiskey' had been re-invented yet. While the story is no doubt fanciful, it speaks of the strange and bewildering assortment of lore surrounding our distant past."

"The phrase 'Serving the Leprechaun King' remains a euphemism for death to this very day, despite the fact that it makes absolutely no sense to modern ears. It is assumed that our ancestors lived in a very... unique era of history."

"You know what, Steelheart? Vacationing with the Reckoners isn't sounding so bad any more. I'll take the job." (Ah, that makes sense. Is the Trimmer joining any of the current factions, or is he just going to stay outside the city limits making topiaries out of everyone? )

With a key distinction being that people shell out a lot of money for autographed Cosmere novels, while I still can't convince the local convenience store clerks to trade me a bag of cookies in exchange for an autograph.

Rosharan life seems to be adapted for every inhospitable climate imaginable, so a tentative buy. There will be an Epic necromancer in the Reckoners series, potentially a member of the Coven. (The team of Epics that rules the southern states.)

I like to think that Trimmer has roamed the Fractured States, erecting his topiaries in defiance of all the world's most powerful Epics. Steelheart, the Coven, Obliteration, Night's Sorrow, Möbius... all have faced the wrath of the Trimmer! (Out of curiosity... what can the Trimmer actually do? I assumed he had some sort of powerful telekinetic control over plants, but he seemed to need a brush saw to construct his topiary.)

What, your mousepad doesn't have an adorable kitten on it? Ha, what a loser. Isn't that lame, guys? He doesn't even have a kitten on his mousepad! ...Guys?

Koschei/Backtrack ("OH CALAMITY NO STAY AWAY FROM ME!! THE HORROR, THE HORROR...") EDIT: I just saw the edited-in Trimmer post. I get the feeling I'm going to enjoy his segments.

We defy the One Steve Limit's tyranny! THIS. IS. OREGON! Ahem. Let's try not to confuse players with their characters. It would hardly be fair to poor Edgedancer. Agreed. That was awesome.

Oh. Right.... I'm slightly embarrassed that an Aussie knows my country's laws and customs better than I do, so I'm going to stay silent in an attempt to save face.

I'm looking forward to seeing him in action. Also, Voidus, the momentum twins are underage? I've been thinking they were at least nineteen this whole time.

Or until someone creepier came along and unfroze them/murdered them.

Neat-o. By the way, do you still plan on bringing the Trimmer into Portland? Because if we act now, we can get him to burn a giant CorpseMaker topiary. With literal bushy eyebrows. We don't want to miss that kind of opportunity.

Warning: Lightwards intends to start assigning the dinosaurs to permanent guard duty in the Museum. He knows he'll be a major target soon, so he intends to station them around all doors and windows in the Museum with orders to attack anyone they haven't been specifically commanded not to harm. TwiLyght, do you want to write up a Nathan post in the Museum? Aldo can describe the Epics of the Empire, but he knows that Nathan's the only one qualified to give any kind of history.

Here's a question I'd like to pose to the admins: is it more helpful to report individual spam topics, or the bots themselves? I've been doing the latter, but I can change my ways if necessary.