Kobold King

Or a swift punch to the jaw.

Probably not--he's a victim, not a suspect. He'd be brought to a medic, and then politely asked to recount the experience.

Dr. Paine? ... It will take me a few minutes to gather decent suggestions.

Just one. He had both his hands amputated and was forced to deliver a message to Vondra. Edgerunner and Glamour found him in Mailliw's last post.

Drink wine. Be a slontze. Work community service by interrogating anyone the City Guard arrested (probably people ranging from Epic visitors like Backtrack to petty crooks caught trespassing on other people's property.) Drink wine. Be a slontze. Repeat. They still all begin with "P" right? He could call himself "Personality," in that case. What is this personality like? Does it identify as male or female?

"What has caused Möbius' strange new behavior? A change of heart, or dream-possession by an Internet writer? You be the judge!" Not really. Mostly Thor and Loki stood around giving a tedious amount of exposition while the Guardians' ship flew in circles over their heads. I suppose the dream might have started making sense eventually, but I woke up as soon as the Doctor Who crossovers started to happen.

So in other words, you were the nicest and least murder-y Epic to take the name "Möbius" in history. I had weird dreams too last night, though mine weren't precisely Oregon-related. I dreamed that I was reading Firefight, which started normally enough before spiralling into a bizarre crossover with Thor and Guardians of the Galaxy.

When you don't have emails from other people. When your entire email account is devoted to receiving 17th Shard notification messages and the occassional TOR newsletter.

You're absolutely sure? Without any sliver of a doubt?

The Green Necromancer has not been in power for as long as the Maker of Corpses or the far-off Altermind, but he stays in control of his floating castle by the powerful minions at his disposal. There exist in his court a pair of married alchemists, known for duplicating even the most fantastic pieces of sorcery with their clever studies. The one is called Jeffrey Carlisle, whose coat of arms sports a purple phoenix rising from flames against a field of shadow. His beautiful wife is called Marigold the Sweet, who is a statuesque princess with an affinity for animals rivaling even the legendary Snow White. While the alchemists are well loved, there are other, darker aspects of the Necromancer's court. Every so often, the merciless black knight called the Hound is set loose upon the populace, allowed to slaughter peasants and nobles alike in his mad lust for blood. The Hound is known for a cruelty above and beyond any ogre or werewolf--he even keeps a sorceress in chains and a collar as his personal pet. His love of pain, torture, and suffering is known all too well. There are those who wear crude charms around their necks, inscribed with a simple phrase to ward away his evil. The phrase can be found in every language, coupled with all manner of runes and glyphs. The phrase is simple but stands as a beacon of hope for those who fear his evil--"And then the Night-Hound died." (Ah. Much better. )

Among Sorceress Funtimes' retinue of servants include: Nathaniel le Sperre, a minor servant from a far off land; Samantha Trattula, a quick-witted baker's daughter who may or may not be a vampire; Revolution Sunburst, who is probably a nymph of some kind, and the mysterious warrior known as Gladius Claymore. ("That perfect girl is gone..." I'd make a comic out of it if I could stop shaking for long enough. )

Granted. You lose one arm and are shipped to Herdazia. You should be hearing quite a lot of them over the next few years. I wish to be strikingly handsome.

Now I'm imagining a fairy-tale version of "What Happened in Oregon," complete with Sorceress Funtimes, the Green Necromancer, and the dreaded cockatrice known as the Maker of Corpses. (The song "Let it Go" would be far more ominous if envisioned as an Epic accepting her powers and corruption for the first time. )

I'm a relative newcomer to the show, but I've been racing through the episodes and am almost caught up to the current season. Just need to finish Season 3 and I'll find out what odd twists they've put on Frozen. (Every time I think of Calamity-given superpowers nowadays, I hear Rumpelstiltskin's voice exclaiming "Every magic comes with a price!" ) Cool! Definitely looking forward to seeing more. The Remington/Koschei storyline is one of my personal favorite Oregon subplots. I'll have something up in The Dalles once I finish thinking of a good Vondra post and something more to the Reader's office scene than "Backtrack whimpered."

I follow the Once Upon a Time philosophy for flashbacks: they're best when they're tied to a unifying element that binds the past and the present. Transitional elements can include cryptic references ("It's been years since I last visited this place...") or a character simply noticing a scar or a damaged piece of scenery, then remembering when it happened. I think the talk of Reader and his animosity towards Remington Springfield could be the perfect opportunity for a flashback.

I don't think it really matters either which way now--I think introducing Koschei's flashbacks through Backtrack's vision was a good way to start them, but by now they're mostly unconnected to Backtrack's posts. I'm about to fire up the Nyan Nyan song and start writing, but I don't mind if your flashback sequence gets posted first.

Only the blueberries were poisoned. Nighthound was a greedy pig who claimed them all for himself offscreen. I meant to use your (superior) version, but somehow I got mixed up when I was selecting the code. We'll attribute the funky turquoise color to blueberry poisoning doing its work. RE: TwiLyght's praise. Thanks! EDIT: Did you know that the character models for the September Music Video were made with General Zoi's pony creator? I just read that on the official description.

Unrelated, but I took TwiLyght's request for Koschei eating muffins to heart. So enjoy a swiftly made comic titled "And Then I Just Don't Know Went Wrong."

Yes, but Lightwards was a professor with a firmly ingrained habit of lecturing people, while Koschei was a humble Oregon DJ. Awesome! Do I need to set it up somehow with Backtrack?

"Firstly, that expression was originally used as a phrase meaning 'you shouldn't throw your life away.' Idiots like you adopted the phrase to justify moronic behavior. Secondly, it is no longer a universally accurate phrase given the number of resurrection Epics currently residing in this city. I happen to be one of them, and I have lived no fewer than four consecutive times. Thirdly, you yourself are about to begin a bold second life in my service."

The funny thing is that we have multiple characters for whom the expression "You Only Live Once" is inaccurate.

Do I need to post another picture of Koschei sharing muffins with Derpy Hooves? MV will be heartbroken. Not that she likes him, of course.

Welcome! We're excited to have you. To answer your questions, from my point of view... I'm a fellow darkeyes. I'm always game for a good bout of lighteyes-mocking, too. Hoid, Dalinar, Szeth, Hoid, Vin, Kelsier, Breeze, Ham, Wayne, Hoid, Galladon, Hrathen, Hoid... Warbreaker. It's one of my absolute favorites of his novels, centering around some of my favorite characters from his books. Steelheart is also an awesome read, if you're interested in his young adult works. The Cosmere is roughly the size of a dwarf galaxy. Source: something I read on the internet once. I'd have to track down a specific quote to back it up though. Anyway, welcome again and have fun!

That... that was actually not terrifying at all. It was actually sweet, adorable, and awesome. But unfortunately it can never be canon, as it would only serve to make Backtrack's life more pleasant. And we can't have that, now can we?

Can this Epic's name be "Soundtrack," or would that just make Backtrack/Soundtrack shipping a terrifying new thing?