Kobold King

The room was silent. That in and of itself was kind of a surprise, since Reader should have resumed his taunting by now. Backtrack frowned as he watched the slontze's face. It almost looked as Reader were the one rendered speechless. Which was completely absurd--wasn't it? He didn't remember saying anything that might have offended or horrified him. All he'd said was the name Remington Spring-- Reader finally spoke out loud to the only soldier still standing in the room. "Go get Autumn," he said firmly. "Tell her to come in here. I have..." He paused noticeably, seeming to compose himself. "The third Epic is ready." Though immensely curious to know what was getting under Reader's skin so badly, Backtrack kept his mouth shut. He tried looking at Reader at first, but then avoided making eye contact. There was one thing he'd learned since Calamity appeared--when an Epic was annoyed and had a fondness for shooting people, you didn't mess with them. It was a simple enough rule, but it was surprising how many snarky vanillas and overconfident minor Epics there were who still hadn't learned it. Backtrack still wasn't sure that he'd entirely learned it. After a scant minute, the door to the office opened again, and a woman with auburn hair and freckles strode into the office. "Hi there," she said warmly. "Autumn Glass, not an Epic." Backtrack eyed her warily. Was this some sort of good-cop, bad-cop routine? He'd never been arrested before, but he'd seen that sort of thing all the time on TV. Autumn's eyes seemed to float down to his injured arm, and she winced visibly. Too visibly, perhaps? "That looks like it hurts. Why don't you come with me and the twins, and I'll take you to our…healer." Definitely a good-cop, bad-cop routine, Backtrack thought, his mouth once again going dry. He'd ask for a glass of water... but chances were, he'd be having his throat slit in a few minutes. He felt himself cringe involuntarily as he thought of it. The very dim bright side was that the twins weren't here to see him shaking--though that was probably because they'd already been murdered and un-murdered by Koschei the sparking Deathless. Sparks. "He's the best healer we've ever had," Autumn was continuing emphatically, making air-quotes with her fingers. Sparks. Sparks sparks sparks sparks. Before Backtrack could protest--assuming he could at all, with his mouth as dry as it was--Autumn Glass herded him out of the office. He quickly found himself in the hallways of the church, blessedly away from Reader. Impact and MV were standing sullenly against a wall, eyed by a pair of nervous soldiers. The church seemed more active than it had been when they'd first arrived. Soldiers hurried back and forth, and what sounded like alarms buzzed in the air. Autumn Glass seemed just as startled by the commotion as he was. The woman put a hand to her revolver as she pulled out a military radio, adjusting the channel with a serious expression. Static flared through the device for a moment, before a dry voice crackled through the white noise. ​"…arrows, homes and businesses in northern sector aflame. All available personnel, report to the nearest command station. Epics move to the front line at city borders. Repeat: This is not a drill. The Dalles is under attack." The freckled woman frowned subtly, but turned to Backtrack with a composed expression. "Let's get that arm fixed up," she said simply. Backtrack gave the momentum twins a helpless look, his feet planted firmly in place. "But.. but..." he tried to think of an excuse a reason to stay behind, but nothing came to mind. With a resigned sigh and a forlorn look to MV, he followed Autumn out of the halls. There was silence as they walked, aside from the screeching alarms and shouting soldiers. Backtrack mustered up the courage to speak. "So, uh," he began nervously. "How... how long have you worked for... for..." Well, not that much courage. He couldn't quite bring himself to say 'Koschei the Deathless.' Instead, he resisted the urge to whimper and tried to keep his voice steady. "How long have you worked for The Dalles?" "Hostile forces reported on the city outskirts," Arsenal said through the radio. His voice crackled as dryly as the static. "Hostiles reported to possess an ursine appearance. Reported to be employing the strategic use of burning arrows; homes and businesses in northern sector aflame. All available personnel, report to the nearest command station. Epics move to the front line at city borders. Repeat: This is not a drill. The Dalles is under attack." Ending the transmission, Arsenal turned away from the panicked technicians and walked out of the communications center. The area around The Dalles HQ was in a frenzy. Around him was a wide courtyard-like structure, filled with soldiers rushing about to the sound of blaring sirens. The building was located in the center of the city, specifically chosen to be out of range from sudden attacks. That didn't stop the morons stationed there from panicking. But that was to be expected. They were only human. A small squad of soldiers rushed to Arsenal, their faces deeply concerned. "Orders from high command," one of them began urgently. "The Mayor has ordered the construction of a survey helicopter immediately." "Vondra wants to see for himself, eh?" Arsenal rasped in reply. "Not surprising. You're all worked about this. Like none of you had ever seen an invasion before." "Well, sir," a younger soldier began nervously. "This isn't just an invasion. We're being invaded by--" "By an Epic," Arsenal stressed severely. "Every Epic out there has a theme or a motif. You know that." Without waiting for a reply, Arsenal turned away from the soldiers. They really were idiots; every one of them. Too caught up in the apparent absurdity of the situation to do anything about it. Undoubtedly the mastermind behind this latest invasion was counting on just that. Well, if they planned on taking Daniel Dewhickey by surprise, they were in for a good ol' shocker themselves. No one caught Arsenal unawares, and no one threatened the city he'd chosen to call home. Arsenal raised his hand, and used his Calamity-granted gift. Lines appeared in mid-air in front of him, forming the outline of the desired machine. The lines crossed and intersected, before finally coalescing into a solid aerial vehicle. Arsenal turned back to the soldiers. "There you go. Tell Vondra his helicopter is ready." He had made a sleek black helicopter, equipped with one mounted machine gun. Its side was emblazoned with "The Dalles City Guard," complete with the city flag and crest. The soldiers he'd spoken to ran off to deliver their message, leaving Arsenal alone amidst all the commotion. Feeling somewhat annoyed, Arsenal conjured up another radio in his hand, setting it to the emergency setting. "A reminder from Daniel Dewhickey," he rasped through the speaker. "Being invaded by weaponized pandas is not an excuse for forgetting established protocols. Nor is it an excuse for losing all sense of order and sanity. Thank you." Pocketing the radio, he started to consider heading back to his quarters to wait out the assault when he saw two Epics pushing their way through the crowd. Edgerunner and Glamour made their way to his side, looking confused by the city-wide panic. Edgerunner was silent, while Glamour's headset was steadily emanating what he recognized as R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World." I should have never conjured that headset for him, Arsenal thought grumpily. Suppressing the mild desire the crush Glamour under a Boeing jet, he instead turned to Edgerunner. "I suppose you're wondering what's going on," he said in his gravelly voice. "I want to know what you learned at Outpost Tango. You brief me and I'll brief you."

Wait. I imagined her with straight hair. Lightwards is unamused by their shenanigans, but he won't interrupt.

Autumn Glass has freckles, right TwiLyght? I just wrote that she does, but I can't remember why I think that. :/

Slaughterhouse requires touch for particularly intricate changes--since Slaughterhouse and Panda have essentially the same fleshwarping power, my best guess is that Panda would as well. What Happened in Oregon: the only role-playing game where throwing a flash grenade at a talking superpowered panda bear is a legitimate, perfectly logical option.

That sounds perfect. Although... if vanillas can be changed unwillingly, what's to stop Panda from simply transforming Vondra the second he hits the ground? Does Panda need to touch a subject in order to transform them? Warbreaker is one of my favorites. The alarming thing is that Reader already knows this.

That idea is perfect. Reader being captured would definitely be important enough for Vondra to take such an active role in getting him back. Imagine Epic!Revolution joining forces with Dark!Paladin. That's right, think about it. Let the nightmares in. Pretty sure I know which part you're talking about. Though you keep reminding me how much I love that novel--I might have to re-read it again soon.

When I was seriously considering this, I wanted to make sure they were both thematic and awesome. (It wouldn't do to go through all that trouble setting it up as a plot point only for her to get Sausage McMuffin powers. ) Anyway, here they are. They'd have put her on higher-tier High Epic level. I put a fair bit of thought into it. Considering our good Sunburst probably won't get to radiate death and obliteration on Oregon any time soon, I might end up recycling that power set to another Epic. Maybe Revolution has a sister...? Cool! Reader getting kidnapped by the pandas would definitely be a twist. Yep, it's based on the actual city in Oregon.

Epic!Revolution, oddly enough, is something I seriously considered at one point. While now it's very unlikely to happen, I actually put a fair bit of thought behind it, including what her powers and weakness would be. It's easy enough to envision. Imagine Revolution separated from Funtimes and the rest of the vanillas during an Epic attack, finding herself on her own and pursued by deranged Epics. Escaping into the woods, she curls up under a fallen log, hoping and praying to be protected. As she shivers in the cold, alone and desperate, a voice seems to speak into her mind... "Revolution Sunburst Jones, why won't you fight back?" ... I may have put too much thought into this. That sounds a fair enough power for Remington, but there's seems to be an alarmingly high likelihood of summoning Lightwards and his pistol by mistake. I'm sure he'd have some sort of gun-related power, though. Maybe infinite bullets like Curveball. Reason 446 to look forward to Funtimes' backstory. Whoops, I forgot to do that. I'll do so now. Or in a minute. I think Edgerunner would be sent to fight on the front lines. Glamour would mainly be used to keep convoys and armored vehicles invisible during select assaults. I'm working on a Backtrack/Arsenal post that will give Edgerunner a chance to briefly summarize what she's learned and head off to the battlefield. EDIT: Here you go, Mailliw. I made two different versions, since the model image was in an unconventional pose.

That sounds a lot like Nathan. Even if it is odd to imagine Oregon's everyman as a manic suppressed Epic following any random rule that comes to mind. Depending on how strong his powers were, I'd imagine him being either killed fairly quickly by another Epic, or being "that wackjob who mutters to himself and will vaporize you if you tick him off." Let us all take a moment to consider how badchull it would be if Epic!Remington teamed up with Sightline to rid Oregon of its worst Epics. Or for that matter, if vanilla Remington teamed up with Sightline to rid Oregon of its worst Epics... For my Epics as vanillas... there's not a lot to say. Aldo Acquarone would almost certainly have gotten himself killed, unless he managed to scrape out a living as an Epic's personal magician/attendant. Steve Lawrence would probably manage to stay alive simply by virtue of staying out of sight and acting as a nervous sycophant to any Epic who noticed him. Only Thomas Cardinal would have the chance to make something to himself, if he managed to join the Reckoners. He'd probably gain a more mellow, friendly personality with them. I imagine he'd probably stay at their HQ during actual missions, perhaps coordinating assaults through mobiles. He'd be all too aware of his high likelihood of dying while assassinating Epics like Quickslide.

Epic!Sam would know enough about Calamity to know not to use her powers, and would try to live as a vanilla. Unfortunately, she has trouble keeping control of herself under violent pressure--notice how frayed her nerves were during the Lucentia battle. While she'd try her best to suppress her powers, she'd find it difficult not to use them if she or her family came into danger. Ultimately, I think she'd either end up killing herself out of fear for what she'd become, or succumbing to Calamity's corruption. Revolution, I'm sad to say, would succumb almost right away. Even if she did notice a change in her temperament coming with her powers, she has a vain streak that would lead her to believe she could control herself. She'd likely end up enslaving her home commune to "protect" it, and would then launch a misguided attempt to conquer the whole of Oregon. She'd probably be a High Epic who could only be killed by a strict pacifist, making her very hard to ultimately defeat. For some reason I really like hypothetical situations like this. Sorry! Didn't notice the edit earlier. :/ That's certainly plausible. He's a very valuable asset, and the consequences of him falling into enemy hands could be disastrous. So disastrous, in fact, that it occurs to me that there's probably a standing order to have Reader terminated if there's a high risk of him being captured. This may be a problem, as Vondra couldn't even conceive of such a plan without Reader knowing about it next time they meet in person.

Yes. Yes it is. Fun thought experiment: imagine every Epic character in the RP as a vanilla and vice versa. Wow. I can totally see that--especially since lonely, depressed ol' Thomas Cardinal would have dearly benefited from being part of a close-knit family unit like a Reckoners cell. I almost want to write it as an AU fanfiction.

I concieve of Lightwards as having chronic depression, a mild bipolar disorder, and a raging case of PTSD all tainted and twisted by Calamity. The result is... well, not pretty. The sad thing is that Thomas Cardinal could have done so much more if it hadn't been for Calamity. He's a very intelligent, strategically minded individual, adept at creating subtle plans for assassinating more powerful Epics. If it hadn't been for Calamity, Professor Cardinal could have been the head of a Reckoners cell.

Probably for the best, since graverobber!Funtimes is not something I think any of us want to see. Some things are best left to the imagination... or better yet, forgotten altogether. Lightwards already has one of the highest on-screen atrocity counts of any Portland Epic. Sometimes he can be quite ridiculous, at other times he's almost sympathetic... but at other times, he crosses the line into Complete Monster territory. Complete Monster moments are only growing to become more common from him in the future, especially once his final Moral Event Horizon takes place.

Unless Funtimes decides to take up grave robbing, those would be his best options. If this happens, it would probably be something he does after a few more deaths push him further along the road to Crazyville.

Lightwards: the No. 1 reason for having your remains cremated and thrown into the ocean. This would definitely fit Lightwards' MO and personality. The only problem I can see is that they'd have been buried in his hometown of Sacramento instead of in Oregon.

Um, well, you see... if I say "no," does she promise not to drown me in a tar pit? (Personally I doubt it. But you can never be quite sure with Epics.)

I think the "lucky" parents of Epics would simply be forgotten and would never hear from them again. I think Epics of especially paranoid natures like Steelheart wouldn't rest until everyone from their past lives had been killed. Parents in general don't enter into my Epic backstories. Lightwards' parents passed away before Calamity, and Backtrack ran away from home shortly after gaining his powers. As far as his parents are concerned, Steve Lawrence simply disappeared one day, presumed dead. If he's ever fully redeemed in the RP, he might leave the wastes of Oregon and try to find them again in Los Angeles. Assuming someone like Obliteration hasn't destroyed the city. 0.o

Epic Plot Twist: Backtrack was once Stephen Vondra Jr. This is entirely non-canon.

It flares in activity in sometimes, then drops into a slight lull, just like the parent thread. In this case, I think it's mainly going slowly 'cuz I'm holding it up. I'll get a Backtrack post written up soon, at the very least. Yes Reader. Losing your wine is the most important consequence of a panda invasion.

OK. Assuming no one beats me to it, I'll get it cropped tomorrow when I'm on a computer again. There are definitely plans in hidden PM conversations. The precise details will remain secret until the reveals though, and I can't promise I won't do my best to misdirect you all. Voidus, back on Page 9 Edge said there wouldn't be much of a reaction from Lucentia. I'd say a Neverthere post would make the most sense at the moment, but if you'd rather wait for Edgedancer's definitive blessing that's fine too.

I'd be happy to, but unfortunately that link isn't working for me. :/ The future is never set in stone, Mailliw. You've read enough of Brandon's prophecy twists to know that.

Not sure if you're joking or not, but I'd be happy to do so. Any ideas for a quote? I know I do. Yeah, that must be it.

Uh... whatever works for you, I guess. I can post when I get back online in about ten minutes, I think. On another note... seriously? Backtrack feeling sorry for himself for being a slontze is the first starred post on the RP? How does that make any kind of sense, people? I mean, I'm certainly flattered but there are way better posts.