Kobold King
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Everything posted by Kobold King
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Ever hear about Twitch Plays Pokemon? I think it'd be a lot like that. The more people controlling our lovable koloss protagonist, the more chaotic it'd all be.
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You ship it, I ponify it and set it to upbeat music. It can't go wrong!
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I always knew he'd hit it big in the fast food business. Anyway... bad news everybody. After watching a video shipping Rainbow Dash with... "the Jokermort"... well... I don't think we're the craziest most shiptastic madhouse on the Internet any more.
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World misconceptions that are difficult to shift.
Kobold King replied to ljósmóður's topic in Stormlight Archive
For me, Rock is still an enormous black man who sounds exactly like Andre the Giant. This thing, I am glad others feel the same way. It's good to know I'm not the only one who comes to wild misconceptions during his readings. -
I was going to call him the Fan Servor, but that works too.
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Now I almost want to introduce a former comic artist turned fabric manipulator, who uses his powers to passively "improve" the costumes of every character in his vicinity.
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At risk of sounding like a pervert, the only character I do envision that way is Shiny Sparkle. On that note, the final entry in this dialogue series: "Sir?" * sigh * "What is it this time? Upset about Shiny Sparkle's new costume? Want her to cover her belly? Want to get her out of that thong and into a pair of jeans?" "No sir." "...what? You... you don't?" "No, my compliments to the artist. That actually fits her very well." "Huh. Well, good to hear it." "I'm here to talk about Koschei terrorizing The Dalles without a shirt on. And his final topless battle with Remington Springfield."
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"You again?" "Yes, sir. I wanted to go on the record against something else." "Duly noted." "I'm not finished. I haven't even started yet." "damnation." "I think Autumn Glass is being visually represented in an unrealistic light." "How so?" "Well, I think, considering she's an ordained minister and town counselor, her attire's a bit revealing. It doesn't fit with her character." "What do you mean? She wears jeans and a flannel shirt." "Short jeans. Jeans that are so short, an inchworm could crawl from the waist to the cuff in a few arches of its back." "So she shows some leg. It gets hot in The Dalles!" "Yes, I'm aware of that. That was the slogan of the swimsuit issue, if I recall correctly. That doesn't explain the flannel shirt." "What? Is it too much? She might get overheated?" "I don't see how that could happen. Considering it's basically a thin stretch of flannel-patterned cloth hung over her breasts. I'm just saying, it doesn't make sense that an ordained minister of Autumn's personality would cut holes in all her shirts to show her cleavage and midriff." "Duly noted." "Thank you, sir. Maybe when the feminists storm this place they'll leave me intact..."
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Now I'm imagining WHIO as a DC comics series. "Boss?" "Yes?" "I just want to say, we need a new artist for our Dalles comic." "What? What's wrong with our artist?" "Well... remember Scribbler?" "The hot one?" "...The fact that you think of her like that proves there's something wrong. She's fifteen. And Hawk--though he's a great artist--well let's face it. He's drawing her with so little clothing, the bikini she's wearing would barely cover a small monkey." "Uh huh." "It's kind of a slontzey thing to do. Sexualizing an underage character like that. I mean, she's practically naked." "Now that's an exaggeration. She ain't naked--she's covered in tattoos!" "You and I have very different standards, sir."
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That is a very good thing indeed. Which means Deathwish will have to stick to trying to convince Lucy and Emma that they need to dress like this to properly fight crime. I fully sympathize with autocorrect.... but I'm still having trouble keeping myself from imagining Deathwish and Nighthound buying an enormous dinosaur-killing gorilla from the local petshop.
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In the magical world of the Cokeverse, maybe. In this world he's more likely to suggest forcing her wear a collar and a bikini as a form of punishment.
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"In addition, it has recently been leaked that yet another actor has been selected to play Nighthound, after the first five have all suffered from mental breakdowns related to the role. See Page 24 for the spirited debate whether Nighthound should be killed off or replaced with a CGI stand-in." It is a fun pasttime. ...Though one I'm afraid I'll have to discourage with the next Arsenal post where he reacts to Scribbler.
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Is it possible to become a beta reader for Sanderson?
Kobold King replied to dayman's topic in General Brandon Discussion
Could I increase my chances of being selected by showing up in his house one night wearing a suit of homemade Shardplate, throwing coins at him while he's in bed? -
What the sparks ?
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Koschei the Deathless marched into the playhouse, pacifier in hand, the purple blankie he carried around trailing behind him. Snowflakes fell, catching on his blankie and sticking in his hair, and he irritably stuck the pacifier in his mouth. Lil' Barrett Springfield had betrayed him. A wedgie and a wet willie, and he had chosen to push Haze into the sandbox over a swirlie for his brother. When he ordered Haze and Headshot into the playhouse, Koschei had been certain their discomforts would keep the Springfields firmly under his drool-drenched thumb. Yet Barrett had betrayed. Two painful wedgies, and he still betrayed.
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Yes. And the extent of Canis' creepiness would be spirited bouts of "I'm not touching you, you can't do anything." Would child!MV secretly pass this note to Backtrack?
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And Backtrack's kindergarten catchphrase would be... well, basically just sobbing his eyes out and calling his mommy. So basically the same as it is now. Not just yet. There are still a few scenes that need to be wrapped up, namely the clinic and Vondra's HQ.
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This kind of makes me want to see a version of The Dalles set in a kindergarten. With a grumpy six year-old Arsenal, a Reader who continuously stuffs his face with glue, a Scribbler who scribbles on the wall with crayons, a Deathwish who's terrified of cooties... you know, this could be a big hit.
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She has a reason for everything. She's not a tame shipmistress, you know.
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Like tricking him into eating a glue sandwich, by any chance? My next priorities will be Backtrack, Glamour, and Vondra, so hopefully I'll get them up tomorrow.
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Hemlock-flavored glue? Or glue-flavored hemlock? Have you read the latest Arsenal post, by the way? It wasn't until after I posted it that I remembered you saying something about Lucy changing his socks back, so I'm a little anxious to know whether I should change the ending.
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I'm now looking forward to a scene where Reader eats crayons when he thinks no one's looking. Pray you don't disappoint me, mail-mi.
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Thanks. I was going for that effect. Did I get Reader's facial reactions right--the glimmer of alarm and the livid expression on his face by the end, namely?
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Oh, I used to feel the same way. I remember the first time I added a member as my friend... it was Observer, after we started getting along swimmingly on the Zombie Apocalypse: Investiture Edition thread on General Brandon Discussion. I was exceedingly, absurdly nervous. Of course, nowadays I've friended just about everyone I've talked to, and if I haven't friended someone, it's usually because I was too busy having a fun time chatting with them to notice I'd forgotten. The 17th Shard is a social recluse's paradise.
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Some other time, perhaps. I'm sure this won't be the last time Reader makes a slontze out of himself.
