Kobold King
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Everything posted by Kobold King
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We need a PSA for new arrivals. A CHARACTER BEING PUT ON ICE FOR MONTHS AT A TIME ISN'T NORMAL. BUT ON SLEEP IT IS. SLEEP. NOT EVEN ONCE.
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Welcome to Costco. I love you.
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Would he come back as PP the White?
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Or maybe 12. Or 6. Or 13. We haven't decided yet!
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Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!
Kobold King replied to traceria's topic in General Discussion
... Don't be alarmed if I send your mom some lotion in the mail. Because that burn needs treatment, stat. -
I was voted Featured Forum Member on Silverblade's thread. Here are my responses to his questions, but be sure to go upvote Silver's original post.
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Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!
Kobold King replied to traceria's topic in General Discussion
I'm sorry. It sounds like you're stuck between a very passive-aggressive rock and a hard place. And I realize this wasn't the point of your story, but I hope your foot feels better soon. I'm known for being over the top? THE GREAT VOID DRAGON DISAPPROVES OF THIS ATTITUDE. -
Shameless plug with Firefight spoilers. Second shameless plug with more Firefight spoilers.
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Sorry. It seems I misunderstood. I've got to rush to the grocery store right now for dinner, but I've deleted my post as well. I'll PM you when I get back--hope I haven't made you mad.
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If these ancient, lost civilizations were so great, then where are they now? More seriously, this annoys me too. It's similar to the kind of person who sits around on park benches berating teenagers for being "the generation that ruined America." They have an idea in their heads of a glorious golden age that existed long before, and any relics from that golden age--be it antiques, really old people, or casually racist attitudes--are held to be shining examples of what the crumby world today is lacking. Humans have proven themselves incapable of creating a truly glorious age. Even times of prosperity tend to be powered by slave labor of some stripe or another, and more often than not golden ages merely look golden because their filth and corruption is hidden from the public view. I'm with you all the way. It does get annoying seeing humans treated as supervillains in every work of fiction under the sun, but I think it's very valuable for us to remember our failings. I personally know people who defend the genocide of the Indians and the destruction of "primitive" societies. Fiction should ideally walk a fine line between acknowledging the corrupted parts of humanity, while still giving us an ideal to strive for.
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That reminds me, what would Funtimes be like on Roshar? Some men just want to watch the traditional Joker image burn.
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Not sure. Possibly a more fiery presence than the Empire has in Portland, since fantasy!Lightwards might be able to acquire skeletal dragons for his army.
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You know I don't like to squash fun, but would't it be a little weird to introduce an AU Jack before the canon version has ever shown up? Not that I'm necessarily opposed. Just seems a little weird. If Fantasytimes is in it, would she still be working with the Emperor?
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Nope. Nightmare-queens are capable of asexual reproduction, remember? Do you want your child to be Nighthound? Because that's how you accidentally sire Nighthound. Have fun, Winter.
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There is no story. Kobold meets girl. Kobold and girl fall in love. Kobold learns girl is a horrific nightmare-queen from the nether dimension. Kobold breaks up with girl after the fourth time he catches her devouring the souls of orphans. Girl reproduces asexually and names her clone "Shiny the Succubus." Kobold vehemently denies said succubus being his daughter, but it's too late. Now Kobold pays childcare bills and has to perform a ritual sacrifice to the Black Spirit of the Lagoon to keep up the housekeeping. Moral of this story: dump your girlfriend the first time you catch her devouring orphans.
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Well. Um. Nighthound is from far out of town and wouldn't have seen her except by chance if Funtimes hadn't picked her up. Shiny's also never come across her, so... you know what, let's just get back to making marriage non-mandatory in fantasy Oregon. Screw historical authenticity, we have pancakes. Can we make Ray and the Unicyclist refugees to the Good King Al's court?
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Um... maybe Deathwish will ultimately have his powerset completely changed to precognition and enhanced agility, which will prompt him to move to Newcago and change his name to Fortuity? Considering what kind of man Seth was even before gaining powers, I imagine medieval!Sam would also be inclined to tell her child stories about the sugar nymphs. Also, is it just me, or would fantasy / medieval Obliteration be pretty much the same as he is in the Reckonerverse?
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I had a bottle of Gatorade and then a bottle of cranberry-flavored water, so I was ultimately fine. BLESSED ARE THE MEEK, FOR WHEN THE STARS ARE DEAD THEY SHALL INHERIT THE NEW EARTH. Like I said. Ultimately fine.
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"Can I go home with you?"--no one who was not a Reckoner in disguise. How would Funtimes feel if nine months after the initial kidnapping she became an aunt?
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Well I'm not heatstroked any more, so it has to have done something, right?
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"Hi, Deathwish, glad to see you!" --absolutely no one ever I'm not sure. The most probable answer would be one of the other vanillas peasants in fantasy!Oregon, probably an NPC five or six years older than her. It's possible that a sorcerer or wealthier man would have paid her dowry and married her, but seeing as no Epic took a fancy to her in regular Oregon, it's doubtful that she'd be high-profile enough to catch one's eye. So most likely her husband a low-born peasant that's never been seen in regular Oregon, and hopefully not one destined to become a remorseless magical sociopath like Seth Nathsha.
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Fixed that for you. I thought she might prefer the dress any way. ...I was going to discuss whether Sam or Revolution would wear the veils, but then I realized that in a true-to-life medieval-esque setting, they'd have both been married to an older villager at the age of 12 and would possibly have given birth to their first children by now.
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...You win. So I guess in her current state, in a floating fortress with a crazed necromancer, she'd be wearing royal clothes. Peasant clothes in the middle ages were pretty simple--just basic woolen tunics, often with no undergarments. Heck, most of the time peasants went around barefoot unless the weather was cold or they were doing hard work in the fields. Would she wear a veil--usually a mark of an adult, respectable woman--or would she wear her hair loose, which was typically a sign of either a young and unmarried girl or a prostitute? (She's obviously not the latter, but would her childlike persona prompt her to shun the typical veil of the time?)
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..."Snuggle-latte?" "My sexy little pile of suicidal despair?" Care to enlighten us as to what a Funtimes who'd been raised as a medieval princess would actually wear?
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I'd prefer it if fantasy!Timeport and fantasy!Electro saw it, and made it a joke to slap Quota on the bottom every time they meet him from then on out. Silly Twi. Her chainmail bikini would simply sparkle with so many sequins that her foes would be blinded from looking at her. Flowers aren't nearly sparkly enough for Shiny. ...It's Funtimes who would have the oddest chainmail bikini, if she were the type to wear one.
