A Joe in the Bush Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) This is the Prolouge of a Little Fan Fiction I've been Working on. It's set 100 years before the Events of Mistborn, and Deals with Hemalurgy a Lot. It's Set in the Southern Dominance, in the City of Austrex. The main Nobles in the Scene are from House Tormander, a House I made up, with Dreams of Self Rule. Playing God. In the darkness of the underground laboratory, dark things stirred. A few people scurried from table to table, making final adjustments and preparing the subjects. All the while, Lord Hyrun Tormander stood before the center table, where a young man was strapped down by leather and wood. It was hard to determine if the young man was alive, as he was inside a leathery blue suit, that only left his head exposed, thought there seemed to be a hood attached at the back. It had taken them ages to find the proper subject. An experienced Mistborn who had to be captured alive, but Hyrun had done far harder things. Like capturing a live Inquisitor, now that had been difficult to accomplish. They had worked and studied for years, but had only managed to replicate the Lord Ruler’s creations of koloss and Inquisitors. But they had learned how to steal alomancy and how to use brass and zinc to control Hemalurgic creatures. Then, they had a breakthrough. While making new Koloss, the process had caused one man to snap, allowing a Koloss to burn Bronze. So Lord Tormander had hatched a plan. Koloss Mistborn, controlled by Duralumin Zinc. With something like that under his command, the House of Tormander might be able to take control of Austrex. Then, when the Lord Ruler sent his Koloss to retake the rebellious city, Hyrun would simply take control of them as well. For the first time in known history, Noblemen were planning on rising up against the Sliver of Infinity. A young aide approached the table that held Dedri Hasting. The mistborn of an enemy house. Lord Tormander stood above the man, and waited. The aide knelt slightly behind Hyrun and spoke. “My lord. Everything is made ready. We have the spikes and the subjects. The skin is already on. Do we Proceed?” The lab quieted, the Scientists and Researchers stopping and looking up at them. Waiting to hear the answer that could change history. “Begin the Process. Do not stop until I say so.” The aide nodded, and the room burst into frenzy of motion. Minor Nobles of House Tormander approached, bringing four shirtless, unconscious men, strong Skaa, taken from the Lord Ruler’s Garrison. Other’s brought mallets and Iron Spikes. The four Skaa were placed on Tables surrounding the Mistborn. The Nobles carefully drew a dot on each of the men’s chests, and the Aid’s placed the point of the spikes onto the Dots. Then they pounded the Spikes through the hearts of the Skaa. As soon as the Skaa were dead, the Aids lifted there bodies up off the spikes, and the Nobles hurridly took them up and brought them to the Mistborn. They pulled the Hood of the blue suit up, and over his face, and began to prepare the spots for the spikes. The hood, was another face. The face of a Koloss. The young Lekal Noble, was wrapped in the skin of a Koloss. As the men pounded the Spikes in, the Mistborn started screaming. He didn’t stop until his voice gave out, hours Later. Edited June 7, 2014 by Hello. My name is Joe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted June 7, 2014 Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 I'm curious as to how this plays out, if they've discovered hemalurgy and are actively using it so far into the past. Do you realise that you have random capitalisations in the middle of a sentence? <Evil Organization> made me laugh because I have exactly that bracket in a story I'm working on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Joe in the Bush Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 I'm curious as to how this plays out, if they've discovered hemalurgy and are actively using it so far into the past. Do you realise that you have random capitalisations in the middle of a sentence? made me laugh because I have exactly that bracket in a story I'm working on. Oops, I forgot to replace that one. And yes, I do Randomly Capitalize Words. the Rules for That are so Unfair, the Words in the Middle never get The chance to be Big. As for the Hemalurgy, Ruin is influencing Hyrun. I figured it would be good for Ruin for everyone to know of Hemalurgy. Once he escaped, he would have many more Subjects to Dominate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted June 7, 2014 Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) Oops, I forgot to replace that one. And yes, I do Randomly Capitalize Words. the Rules for That are so Unfair, the Words in the Middle never get The chance to be Big. As for the Hemalurgy, Ruin is influencing Hyrun. I figured it would be good for Ruin for everyone to know of Hemalurgy. Once he escaped, he would have many more Subjects to Dominate. Oh ok. I presumed it was a quirk of a mobile device or something. But why only the first letters of words then? Fair is FAiR So this is alternate-cosmere storyline? (as opposed to alternate-universe ) Edited June 7, 2014 by Delightful 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Joe in the Bush Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 Well, they are Rebelling agaisnt the Lord Ruler, and if you notice, in Mistborn, House Tormander is never mentioned. Those Inquisitors clean up good. It's set in the Main Universe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 Oops, I forgot to replace that one. And yes, I do Randomly Capitalize Words. the Rules for That are so Unfair, the Words in the Middle never get The chance to be Big. Personally, randomly capitalized words tend to draw me out of a narrative. It does make for a particularly distinctive style, however. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Joe in the Bush Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 Usually Igo back and Edit out the Caps. I forgot this Time. I'll go do that now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 Personally, randomly capitalized words tend to draw me out of a narrative. It does make for a particularly distinctive style, however. I remember a book I was reading years ago, when in spoke about something that stood out like ALL CAPS and then the character went on her way. It was definitely a cool effect, although I think not quite what Joe is going for here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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