Jump to content

Critique my magic system: It is still in development.


Windrunner21

Recommended Posts

I am working on creating a magic system for my world.  However, I feel like I am really influenced by Sanderson, lol. Does my system seem work? Is it unique enough? What are your thoughts? Thanks for the help! 

 

Eye/Color Magic: Chromancy

Origin of magic:

  Working on it still....

Magic is given by different eye colors, eye colors can use their color for magic. For example, if their eye color is blue they can use blue water to use magic.  

Two types of actions they can use.

 They can take the color out of  an object and use that color to form a material that can be used to build or destroy. This material is called Rosin.

The other action that can be taken is to use the color in their surroundings without taking it out to form Rosin. This can be used to fly, push against it etc.

 (I am still trying to figure out limitations/actions that can be taken with this second action)

Quirks about the system

    Blindness means that you can’t use magic at all    Two different eye colors mean you can use those two colors but it is less balanced and stable.

    You can only use the magic if the color is present 

    You can take color out and put it back in

    Living things with color taken out of them become Dull’s. There are different levels of Dull’s  Sentient Dulls can still get their color back but True Dulls can be commanded by others or act on their own like zombies.  Only people and animals can become Dulls) 

    If you use color too much and it runs out you start to use the color in your own body.  You will burn up if you use too much.

Your blood matches your color.  

    Each color has its own force that can be used. Other Chromists can’t touch them without getting destroyed

    Stabbing a person who normally couldn’t use magic with Rosin causes them to gain limited color powers and can only answer to the person who stabbed them.  The more spikes a person has the more power they get.

Every person’s eye color has the ability to use magic, however some people cannot use magic.  Peoples eye color turns black if they could not use magic but were stabbed by Rosin.

Magic is accessed by natural talent. If a person cannot access it one of their eye color is white and the other is their normal color.

People can use magic through 

    natural talent 

    Being forced to control magic

    There are some ways that magic can be given to someone (still trying to find this out)

I thought about getting magic through a breaking point but I don't want it to be to similar to Mistborn.  

 

Limitations

    People can only use magic when their color is present

    The more color there is then the more magic can occur and the more powerful the magic is

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

Magic is given by different eye colors, eye colors can use their color for magic. For example, if their eye color is blue they can use blue water to use magic.  

How many types are there?

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

 They can take the color out of  an object and use that color to form a material that can be used to build or destroy. This material is called Rosin.

A specific kind of object?  Does it ever occur naturally?

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

The other action that can be taken is to use the color in their surroundings without taking it out to form Rosin. This can be used to fly, push against it etc.

What?  Make this clearer please.

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

    Blindness means that you can’t use magic at all    Two different eye colors mean you can use those two colors but it is less balanced and stable.

What about people who get contacts or transplants. 

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

    If you use color too much and it runs out you start to use the color in your own body.  You will burn up if you use too much.

Is this ever replenished?

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

    Each color has its own force that can be used. Other Chromists can’t touch them without getting destroyed

How many forces?

2 hours ago, Windrunner21 said:

    The more color there is then the more magic can occur and the more powerful the magic is

So a mage is all powerful when they have a bunch of the correct paint canisters?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So if you haven't read it before I would highly recommend reading at least the cliff-notes for the Lightbringer series by Brent Weeks. He uses a very similar magic system (although it's not based on eye color). I only say that so you can make sure yours is unique enough to not appear as copyright infringement.

That being said, I do like the idea of this magic system. It obviously has a lot of things that need to be expanded upon, but once you've fleshed out the details I think it could be a good workable system.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...