The Shortest Thread

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

5 hours ago, Nameless said:

Jell ignored Salad. She was not being manipulated by Nameless. Nameless was watching in horror as Jell began making everything simple and orderly.

“But who set her down this path of order?” Salad asked. “It was you, Nameless. If you had only let me show her randomness, things could’ve been different.”

[Guest]

Bowser is still eating crepes and ice cream, trying to avoid the contention. 

[Experience he/him]

57 minutes ago, Nameless said:

"Did you hear that?" Nameless asked. "Almost like somebody forgot to italicize their words. Weird."

shh

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Experience said:

shh

Bowser whispers to Experience ¨It is okay, we know you for waffles anyway.¨  

[NameIess]

1 hour ago, The Awakened Salad said:

“But who set her down this path of order?” Salad asked. “It was you, Nameless. If you had only let me show her randomness, things could’ve been different.”

"I didn't do anything. As soon as tou talked to her about randomness, she attacked you." Nameless retorted.

[Guest]

56 minutes ago, Nameless said:

"I didn't do anything. As soon as tou talked to her about randomness, she attacked you." Nameless retorted.

Bowser came back to Nameless with a black eye, and said ¨Remember when you called Experience out on italics.¨ Then Bowser exclaimed that he had special ice cream powers, then Bowser threw him away to outer nothingness (With his ice cream powers.) were he can die, because he has frustrated Bowser.

Edited April 10, 2020 by Guest

[AonEne he/him]

20 hours ago, Experience said:

Experience saw Salad talking to Ene, trying to convince them they weren't a Ghostblood. I haven't experienced enough crazyness lately, Experience thought. He wrote on a paper: Salad actually is a Ghostblood, and their mission envolves you. He then passes it to Ene.

Ene freaked out. “I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN ONE DAY,” she screamed. 

20 hours ago, The Awakened Salad said:

I am two genders? 

(I’m not offended, I just found it funny)

Ack! I’m sorry for the she, I didn’t realize I’d done it. *facepalms* 

9 hours ago, Dreamer said:

@The Awakened Salad

introverts be like 

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

On 11/04/2020 at 8:48 AM, AonEne said:

Ene freaked out. “I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN ONE DAY,” she screamed. 

Salad was taken aback. “What... what did you know? I don’t understand...”

Quote

"I didn't do anything. As soon as tou talked to her about randomness, she attacked you." Nameless retorted.

@Nameless because I forgot to reply and it won’t let me quote you when editing this post.

“As soon as I mentioned randomness, you didn’t let me speak to her again,” Salad replied. 

On 11/04/2020 at 8:48 AM, AonEne said:

Ack! I’m sorry for the she, I didn’t realize I’d done it. *facepalms* 

It’s okay, I don’t mind. The only reason I pointed it out was because you and Experience gave me different genders, and I found it kind of amusing. 

On 10/04/2020 at 10:53 PM, Dreamer said:

@The Awakened Salad

I want to use this whenever I meet someone new 

Edited February 4, 2021 by The Awakened Salad

[AonEne he/him]

7 minutes ago, The Awakened Salad said:

Salad was taken aback. “What... what did you know? I don’t understand...” 

It’s okay, I don’t mind. The only reason I pointed it out was because you and Experience gave me opposite genders, and I found it kind of amusing. 

“You’re going to kill me! I knew that one day you would do this. It’s because of him, isn’t it?” Ene sobbed dramatically into her hands. 

Salads are a bigender food confirmed you saw it here first 

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

1 minute ago, AonEne said:

“You’re going to kill me! I knew that one day you would do this. It’s because of him, isn’t it?” Ene sobbed dramatically into her hands. 

Salads are a bigender food confirmed you saw it here first 

Salad froze. “You can’t mean...” The knife fell from their bowl, and clattered to the ground. The sound was sharp, punctuated by Ene’s sobs. “Ene, this isn’t about him. He’s gone. I’ve accepted that. I’m not going to kill you.”

I didn’t even know bigender was a thing until now (though in hindsight I don’t know how I didn’t know this sooner). But yes, salads are bigender.

[NameIess]

33 minutes ago, The Awakened Salad said:

“As soon as I mentioned randomness, you didn’t let me speak to her again,” Salad replied. 

I didn't let you near her because she attempted to kill you!

[AonEne he/him]

31 minutes ago, The Awakened Salad said:

Salad froze. “You can’t mean...” The knife fell from their bowl, and clattered to the ground. The sound was sharp, punctuated by Ene’s sobs. “Ene, this isn’t about him. He’s gone. I’ve accepted that. I’m not going to kill you.”

I didn’t even know bigender was a thing until now (though in hindsight I don’t know how I didn’t know this sooner). But yes, salads are bigender. 

The amount of nonbinary genders out there amazes me, I never knew there could be so many different ways for people to identify. It’s cool. Sorry for the tangent though 

“He might be gone, but I’ll never stop looking for him,” Ene whispered, looking up at them. “Whether I find a man or a Zoroark, I don’t care. I just want to see him again.” She swiped tears away from her eyes. “I thought you wanted to find him too. You’re really not going to kill me?” 

[Experience he/him]

Just wondering, what's the point of crossing things out?

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

18 minutes ago, AonEne said:

“He might be gone, but I’ll never stop looking for him,” Ene whispered, looking up at them. “Whether I find a man or a Zoroark, I don’t care. I just want to see him again.” She swiped tears away from her eyes. “I thought you wanted to find him too. You’re really not going to kill me?” 

ENE HOW DID YOU... HOW??? 

I WAS GOING TO WRITE THAT HE WAS N IN MY POST BUT I DIDN’T JUST IN CASE YOU HAD SOMETHING PLANNED

OUR MINDS MUST BE IN SYNC OR SOMETHING 

I’m sorry for the caps, but the sheer shock and joy just overwhelmed me.

“Of course I want to find him. I’ve spent the past two years searching.” Salad looked down. “I miss him every day. Why would I kill you? We both want the same thing.”

Quote

I didn't let you near her because she attempted to kill you!

@Nameless I’m sorry, somehow this happened twice in a row.

All right, I concede. But can’t you see that Jell must be stopped? This is a thread of randomness. By bringing order into it, she is actually disrupting order! She is causing chaos by going down this path. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by The Awakened Salad

[NameIess]

2 hours ago, The Awakened Salad said:

All right, I concede. But can’t you see that Jell must be stopped? This is a thread of randomness. By bringing order into it, she is actually disrupting order! She is causing chaos by going down this path. 

Of course I realize this. What do you want me to do? I've never fought before. I am no hero, just a friendly narrator who helps organize sporting events. (Except for that one time I blew up an entire planet. But that was to provide a home for those displaced in the aftermath of the Ghanderflaffle empire's destruction.)

Edited April 11, 2020 by Nameless

[AonEne he/him]

12 minutes ago, The Awakened Salad said:

OUR MINDS MUST BE IN SYNC OR SOMETHING 

“Of course I want to find him. I’ve spent the past two years searching.” Salad looked down. “I miss him every day. Why would I kill you? We both want the same thing.” 

 Really, that’s awesome! 

“I worried you might consider it a competition, and I was too much of a coward to ask if we could work together,” Ene said, drying her eyes. (Which is completely unrealistic, I’m the messiest crier ever IRL lol) “This is such a relief.” She laughed quietly at herself. “Do you...maybe want to look for him together?” 

19 minutes ago, Experience said:

Just wondering, what's the point of crossing things out?

Just how some conversations happen to happen, I guess. 

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

1 hour ago, Nameless said:

Of course I realize this. What do you want me to do? I've never fought before. I am no hero, just a friendly narrator who helps organize sporting events. (Except for that one time I blew up an entire planet. But that was to provide a home for those displaced in the aftermath of the Ghanderflaffle empire's destruction.

Maybe there is a way to resolve this peacefully. Would Jell want to participate in a bake-off? 

1 hour ago, AonEne said:

“I worried you might consider it a competition, and I was too much of a coward to ask if we could work together,” Ene said, drying her eyes. (Which is completely unrealistic, I’m the messiest crier ever IRL lol) “This is such a relief.” She laughed quietly at herself. “Do you...maybe want to look for him together?” 

“All these years...” Salad closed their eyes. Their voice was barely a whisper. “I’ve been so alone.” Tears began to well up. “I’m sorry, I need a moment.”

Salad rubbed their eyes, and turned around. They reached into their sleeve (I have sleeves now I guess), pulled something out, and looked down at its gleaming surface. Salad turned around. That crying face was gone, replaced with gleeful madness. With a twisted smile, Salad plunged the knife into Ene’s stomach.

I’m sorry I didn’t plan for this to happen.  I didn’t mean to stab you but I saw my chance and I took it. I love drama too much. Why does this always happen to me. First Ana and now this. It was supposed to be a happy scene and I just ruined it. I’m sorry. How come this always happens?

[NameIess]

Just now, The Awakened Salad said:

Maybe there is a way to resolve this peacefully. Would Jell want to participate in a bake-off? 

Um, considering she is currently destroying all creativity in the world, no, I don't think so. maybe you could stab her? like you did Ene? 

[Experience he/him]

I told you not to trust them, Ene, Experience said exasperatedly. 

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

4 hours ago, Nameless said:

Um, considering she is currently destroying all creativity in the world, no, I don't think so. maybe you could stab her? like you did Ene? 

Well, since my assassination attempt failed, I don't think stabbing will work.

Edited April 11, 2020 by The Awakened Salad

[NameIess]

7 hours ago, The Awakened Salad said:

Well, since my assassination attempt failed, I don't think stabbing will work.

It did? Oh, you're talking about your attempt to assassinate Jell. Not your attempt to stab Ene.

Edited April 11, 2020 by Nameless

[AonEne he/him]

12 hours ago, The Awakened Salad said:

I’m sorry I didn’t plan for this to happen.  I didn’t mean to stab you but I saw my chance and I took it. I love drama too much. Why does this always happen to me. First Ana and now this. It was supposed to be a happy scene and I just ruined it. I’m sorry. How come this always happens? 

No apologize, boots! Drama is good too! 

Ene gasped, looking down at the blade in her stomach. She stumbled backward, letting the knife slide out of her, and tried to press her hands to the wound, but she was suddenly dizzy and her breaths came too fast and what if it had hit something and why had Salad done this and she was never, never going to find N. She sat down hard - well, more like fell over onto her side - and curled inward, putting pressure on the area of entry. 

Were those deathspren she could see out of the corners of her eyes? She’d always dismissed them as a Rosharan myth. But something loomed, dark gray and shapeless and getting closer, and Ene couldn’t quite find enough air, and...the sky wasn’t supposed to be that color, was it? Oh, and now everything was changing colors and glowing. She wondered why, and reached out to catch one of the little balls of light that were floating around with a bloody hand, forgetting her injury. It didn’t hurt anymore. 

She caught it, and it buzzed in her palm. She pulled it closer -  

redgreenblueyellowsharpgoldsoftsilverwetcoldpainwarmlossanswersjoybloodfailureblackgonegonegone

Ene died. 

Her body relaxed, hands falling to the ground, one dropping from her stomach and one from the air where she had gripped nothing. As it did this, she stood up, looking down at her unblemished torso, seeing no wounds and no color in her body. She was light gray all over, from her clothes to her eyes, though her corpse beneath her was colored normally. 

“Aon,” a voice called, and she looked up automatically. A woman was beckoning to her. 

“I go by Ene, actually, Aon is more of a surname, but don’t worry people make that mistake all the time...” She trailed off as the woman continued to gesture her forward. “Okay, I’m coming.” 

The woman was a darker gray than her and looked middle-aged. “Come, Aon,” she said in a lilt that made it seem she was singing. 

“I am,” Ene said uncertainly, walking to her. “Er, is this the afterlife?” 

The woman smiled maternally. “No, Aon, this is...somewhere else.” 

I think it’s my turn to apologize to you because what did I just write 

Edited April 11, 2020 by AonEne

[The_Archivist he/him]

On 10.4.2020 at 7:11 PM, Nameless said:

Jell turned towards the Archivist. "What do we have we here?" She asked, floating forwards threateningly. "Someone  attempting  to destroy the order which I have built? What have you to say for yourself @The_Archivist?"

"You say you are making things normal, but the power of confectionery shall always prevail, no matter how well you phrase your changes, for that is what confectionerys are all about, being different. They give us happyness when it feels like we have none, they remind us that all is not lost in the world. Crêpes are the one thing you can never destroy, Jell Tyrant, no matter how hard you try, they are chocolatey self indulgence."

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless began to tap dance.

[NameIess]

18 minutes ago, The_Archivist said:

"You say you are making things normal, but the power of confectionery shall always prevail, no matter how well you phrase your changes, for that is what confectionerys are all about, being different. They give us happyness when it feels like we have none, they remind us that all is not lost in the world. Crêpes are the one thing you can never destroy, Jell Tyrant, no matter how hard you try, they are chocolatey self indulgence."

Jells eyes flashed red. "So. Confectioneries will always triumph? then confectioneries shall be destroyed."

All across the universe, all food ceased to exist, save for hardtack. Archivist lost all memory of baking. Jell turned towards Truthless.

16 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Truthless began to tap dance.

Truthless stopped dancing. He wondered why he had been moving his feet in such a strange pattern. Ignoring the tiny voice in his head that screamed that something was wrong, he walked slowly away.