Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 I thought we had a thread like this, but I can't find it now, so I'll start one. Post your bad Cosmere jokes here. Shallan, you may be crazy, but just know that you're not alone! 3
Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Author Posted March 5, 2019 Q: How do you get a one-armed Herdazian out of a tree? A: Wave to him. 5
Popular Post Overlord Jebus Posted March 5, 2019 Popular Post Posted March 5, 2019 Cracks knuckles I think it's about time I immortalised this somewhere other than discord: I really love The Emperor's Soul. It's my favourite Cosmere book. It's such a matchless work of art that, when I finished it, I closed my copy and dropped it into the fireplace. 18
Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Author Posted March 5, 2019 (Have you read The Emperor's Soul, @Inky? It's funny if you have, and if not, explaining the joke would get into spoiler territory...)
Inky Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 ( @Mason WheelerI get the joke it's just. Really bad) 1
Calderis he/him Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 8 minutes ago, Inky said: ( @Mason WheelerI get the joke it's just. Really bad) Looks at post. Looks at first post. Looks at Jebus' joke. All is as it should be. 3
HSuperLee Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 Ati enters the beyond, and meets Leras. L: "Did you meet Kelsier?" A: "Yep." L: "He punch you in the face?" A: "Uh-huh." L: "...Ten bucks on Rayse being next." A: "You're on." 12
+ElephantEarwax he/him Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 15 hours ago, HSuperLee said: Ati enters the beyond, and meets Leras. L: "Did you meet Kelsier?" A: "Yep." L: "He punch you in the face?" A: "Uh-huh." L: "...Ten bucks on Rayse being next." A: "You're on." Thats a good joke. I like it.
Mason Wheeler Posted March 6, 2019 Author Posted March 6, 2019 Q: What's it called if a Faceless Immortal says two things that can't both be true? A: A kandra-diction. 6
Lunamor she/her Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 I originally posted these in The Last Post Wins. I don’t know if they count as jokes, but I will post them here anyways. Marasi: Wayne, why are you wearing a bonnet? Wayne: Because popsicles in space. Marasi: ...What? Wayne: Triceratops beats shark. Kelsier: Say hello to my little friend! Vin: Stop introducing me to people like that! Kaladin: Lopen, what do you want to get for dinner? Lopen: Chouta. Kaladin: Are you sure? You have that every- Lopen: Chouta. Kaladin: But- Lopen: Chouta. *Kal and crew are flying to Kholinar* Adolin: Are we there yet? Kaladin: No. Adolin: How about now? Kaladin: No. Adolin: How about... now? *Kaladin ignores him* Adolin: Kaladin? Kal? Kally? Kaladindin? Kaladin? Kal? Kal? Ka... Kaladin: WHAT?! Adolin: Are we there yet? Kaladin: No!!! And if you ask one more time, I swear that as soon as we get back to Urithiru I will lash every last one of your fashion magazines all the way to Thaylenah! *Adolin immediately quiets and doesn’t speak a word for the rest of the trip* 6
Obnoxiousspren Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 @Chaos @Overlord Jebus @WeiryWriter Here's a Shardcast inspired joke for you guys. "Where's the one place you can always get WiFi in the Cosmere? The Spiritual Realm. Everything is connected in the Spiritual Realm." 9
Showman he/him Posted March 12, 2019 Posted March 12, 2019 What type of snake can change forms? An ana-kandra. 9
Karger he/him Posted March 12, 2019 Posted March 12, 2019 Q. Whats spiked nasty and native to Scadrial? A. A grumpy old porcupine.
Mason Wheeler Posted March 12, 2019 Author Posted March 12, 2019 Did you know that certain colors of Hallandren dye are considered more valuable than other colors? It's true. They have a ranking system for the whole thing, known as the Tiers of Edgli! 8
The Ryshadium Posted March 14, 2019 Posted March 14, 2019 What’s the difference between a dysian aimian and a human? One is sleepless, the other is creepless. 2
Mason Wheeler Posted March 14, 2019 Author Posted March 14, 2019 Q: Brandon has always said that Earth doesn't exist in the world of the Cosmere, but in a hypothetical story where a Dysian Aimian worldhopper visited Earth, where would it end up? A: Seattle. 2
Lunamor she/her Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 What did the Kandra say when he turned nine and a half? I’m TenSoon! 7
Queen’sWit she/her Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Q: Why are kandras so secretive? A: They all have skeletons in the closet! 4
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