Attack of the Spam Bots!

[GreyPilgrim he/him]

And once again they have gone totally nuts today.

Edit: And now they're addressing their posts directly to the 17th Shard!

Edited August 26, 2014 by GreyPilgrim

[Gabriele she/her]

Someone in India has a wicked sense of humour and too much time.

 

Probably bookmarked this thread.

[Voidus]

Hobart has now been attacked, I have it on good authority that Hobart==BlackMagic

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

There should be a filter somewhere for:

 

1. New members that sign up that have babaji in their usernames.

2. Post titles that have +91 or vashikaran or any of the other spammy stuff.

[Voidus]

In my inbox I just filtered anything with the 2 or 3 phone numbers they use, haven't had another email yet, and it's unlikely to catch anything it shouldn't

[GreyPilgrim he/him]

I have to say, I find it hilarious when the bots create account pictures.

[Observer]

Whatever you guys did with the filter, it's working pretty well. I'm here at the time Spambots normally post, and so far only two posts have made it in.

Edited August 29, 2014 by Observer

[Left he/him]

I bet the spambot masters were just feeling lazy today. They'll be back in force soon enough

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Yes, don't worry, my Minions will be back later. Wait, UH, I mean, Yah! No Spam Bots!

 

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

I have to say, I find it hilarious when the bots create account pictures.

 

I personally find it creepy. There's nothing more disturbing than an entire row of scary Indian vashkira whatever faces staring at you from the recent topics section. It's even more disturbing when you realize it's a bot. 

[Observer]

Am I the only one really disturbed by what's being advertised here? Vashikaran, so far as I've gathered, is a form of magic used for controlling the mind and body of another person. This is being advertised as a way to either find or reclaim your love.

Controlling somebody to get what you want out of them. That's what they're offering us.

I think there's a word for that.

 

It's called, as I recall, "rape".

Edited August 30, 2014 by Observer

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Huh, there's a new Spambot named Proffesor Sipho.

[Observer]

Guys.....I just figured something out. Something terrible.

 

These bots specialize in spam. Spam shares a definition with a type of meat. Sharing is caring, and caring is a form of kindness, which is one of the seven heavenly virtues. The counterpart to kindness is the sin Envy, and Envy is a homunculus that can change its shape at will. You know what else can change its shape at will? A Kandra. The kandra take over and replace people to act as spies, and spies are the one of the only two units that can defeat a 10 in Stratego. Stratego is a turn-based strategy board game, just like Chess and Checkers. Chess and Checkers both start with C, and C is for cookie, which is good enough for most people. But I'm not done yet. Cookies are codeword for spikes on the 17th Shard, Spikes are used to create an Inquisitor in the Mistborn books. Mistborn was published in 2006, and has two more trilogies left. Two trilogies is 2 x 3 = 6 = 2006, You know what else remains yet unpublished and has to do with the number three? The third Stormlight Archive book is what. You know when the first Stormlight Archive book came out? 2010. You know what the arc-number in that series is? 10!

 

Coincidence? I THINK NOT! You know what character featuring in that series has a lot to do with coincidences? Hoid. You know what his books are called? Dragonsteel. Steel is a metal in the Mistborn series, and Dragons are hinted at in the Way of Kings. It all fits together. It all points in one unified direction.

 

This logic is unassailable.

The spambots.

Are Hoid.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

How long did that take you?

[Observer]

Time taken: 10 minutes

Sense made: 0

 

Mission accomplished.

Edited August 31, 2014 by Observer

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Guys.....I just figured something out. Something terrible.

 

These bots specialize in spam. Spam shares a definition with a type of meat. Sharing is caring, and caring is a form of kindness, which is one of the seven heavenly virtues. The counterpart to kindness is the sin Envy, and Envy is a homunculus that can change its shape at will. You know what else can change its shape at will? A Kandra. The kandra take over and replace people to act as spies, and spies are the one of the only two units that can defeat a 10 in Stratego. Stratego is a turn-based strategy board game, just like Chess and Checkers. Chess and Checkers both start with C, and C is for cookie, which is good enough for most people. But I'm not done yet. Cookies are codeword for spikes on the 17th Shard, Spikes are used to create an Inquisitor in the Mistborn books. Mistborn was published in 2006, and has two more trilogies left. Two trilogies is 2 x 3 = 6 = 2006, You know what else remains yet unpublished and has to do with the number three? The third Stormlight Archive book is what. You know when the first Stormlight Archive book came out? 2010. You know what the arc-number in that series is? 10!

 

Coincidence? I THINK NOT! You know what character featuring in that series has a lot to do with coincidences? Hoid. You know what his books are called? Dragonsteel. Steel is a metal in the Mistborn series, and Dragons are hinted at in the Way of Kings. It all fits together. It all points in one unified direction.

 

This logic is unassailable.

The spambots.

Are Hoid.

 

...

 

Who are you, Ryan Higa in disguise!? 

[Observer]

The more research I do into these spambots of Hoid, the more horrific they look.

For one, they ambiguously advertise being able to teach you black magic to "get rid of" your enemies.

They're also advertising a form of yoga that is a little creepy. With info painstakingly retrieved from a 4 minute Google search, it appears to be a form of "yoga" that allows you to cause excruciating pain to an individual or a group of people through the use of magic. Combines with the above statement they've made, they're basically saying they'll tell you how to remotely torture the people you don't like, just for kicks and giggles.

 

There are so many things wrong with this.

Also if I keep going back and forth between joking and pointing out how scary these bots are, the mood whiplash might kill somebody.

[Voidus]

Also if I keep going back and forth between joking and pointing out how scary these bots are, the mood whiplash might kill somebody.

 

Remotely kill someone!? He's one of them!!!!

[Kobold King he/him]

Every time I see the Vashikaran thing, I wonder if anybody's actually dialed the number they leave. 

 

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

I might try if the phone bills weren't so astronomical (yeah, I'm a very cheap person.  )

[Observer]

Ugh, they've learned how to alter fonts and sizes. Also, take a look at this fun little snippet about the services their "wise men" offer to help you get your love back:

And Others Make An Image And Pick It With Pins

Yup, straight up voodoo murder is what they're offering now. Also, they've started posting six hours later instead of their usual time. Very odd.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

They should probably just ban straightaway any people that sign up as Babajji or have that or the word 'baba' in their name.

[Atilium she/her]

Ugh, they've learned how to alter fonts and sizes. Also, take a look at this fun little snippet about the services their "wise men" offer to help you get your love back:

And Others Make An Image And Pick It With Pins

Yup, straight up voodoo murder is what they're offering now. Also, they've started posting six hours later instead of their usual time. Very odd.

 

This is sounding worryingly close to

[Observer]

Problem here being that they don't actually have those words in their names half the time. If we were going to try netting them, we'd be better off banning anybody who attempts to post one of those phone numbers or more than one instance of one of their more common sentences.

 

EDIT: Okay, they're not even being subtle now. This new one is outright offering hypnotism as a way of getting your ideal love. There is so much wrong with that. SO MANY THINGS.

 

In two words, it is FRACTALLY WRONG.

 

I'm done researching this stuff.

 

I need a shower...

Edited September 4, 2014 by Observer

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

They're back again! I haven't usually seen them at this hour.

Edited September 6, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart