The Last Post Wins!!!!!

[Immortal Platypus]

i don't even know what a zippo is

[Lunamor she/her]

It’s a lighter.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zippo

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

1 minute ago, Lunamor said:

It’s a lighter.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zippo

A little one I assume?

Edited February 18, 2024 by TwinSouls

[Lunamor she/her]

2 minutes ago, TwinSouls said:

A little one I assume?

A little one indeed!

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

Just now, Lunamor said:

A little one indeed!

Is it a really little one?

[Lunamor she/her]

1 minute ago, TwinSouls said:

Is it a really little one?

I haven’t held one, but I assume they aren’t super tiny.

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

1 minute ago, Lunamor said:

I haven’t held one, but I assume they aren’t super tiny.

So… smaller than the BIC ones?

[Lunamor she/her]

1 minute ago, TwinSouls said:

So… smaller than the BIC ones?

BICs are longer, I think.

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

2 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

BICs are longer, I think.

Ah, ok. Those are basically the only lighters I’ve seen

[Immortal Platypus]

ah. the joke makes sense now

[Lunamor she/her]

Here’s another joke.

Why was the sand at the beach wet?

Spoiler

Because the seaweed.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

i'm not certain that's what i'm thinking, but i think it is

[Lunamor she/her]

I like this one.

If you see a crime at an Apple store,

Spoiler

does that make you an iWitness?

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I like flatbread.

Also, Venli is the best Stormlight character.

Spoiler

Sorry, I guess that was a naan-sequitur

 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

15 hours ago, Lunamor said:

I heard a very funny joke today:

What the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

  Reveal hidden contents

One’s very heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

This is my favourite one so far! Partially because of the cleverness, and partially because anytime I hear the word "Zippo," "Wheat Kings" by the Tragically Hip starts playing in my head, and that song just makes me happy.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Spoiler

Lean beef

 

[Lunamor she/her]

This is a classic.

I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger.

Spoiler

Then it hit me.

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Well, you know what they say. Puns are just like paper:

Spoiler

They're tear-ible

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Oof, this one hurts.

Whenever I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him.

Spoiler

That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

I don't know any great jokes, so it's annoying to try to win

[Lunamor she/her]

23 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

I don't know any great jokes, so it's annoying to try to win

I’m cheating using Google.

Why did the car get a flat tire?

Spoiler

Because there was a fork in the road.

 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

3 hours ago, Lunamor said:

I’m cheating using Google.

There are three types of people in this world.

Spoiler

Those who can count, and those who can't.

[Lunamor she/her]

24 minutes ago, Faerie Braids said:

There are three types of people in this world.

  Hide contents

Those who can count, and those who can't.

Another variation:

There are two types of people in this world.

Spoiler

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

11 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

Another variation:

There are two types of people in this world.

  Hide contents

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

 

That is one of my favourites! Here is a silly variation:

There is only one type of person in this world.

Spoiler

But at least you can change the font! 

Person 

Person 

Person 

Person 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

9 minutes ago, Faerie Braids said:

That is one of my favourites! Here is a silly variation:

There is only one type of person in this world.

  Hide contents

But at least you can change the font! 

Person 

Person 

Person 

Person 

 

The fonts are the same on my screen, which I think makes it even funnier 

Spoiler

 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

46 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

The fonts are the same on my screen, which I think makes it even funnier 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Oops! I just checked, and they ended up being the same on my screen as well, which is rather funny. We'll just call that a happy accident...