The Invested Beard Posted October 16, 2017 Posted October 16, 2017 Socks and sandals are ONLY for going to take out the trash when it's chilly and you don't want to take time to put on actual shoes.
Shqueeves Posted October 16, 2017 Posted October 16, 2017 No, barefoot is the way to take out trash. Even in snow. 1
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted October 17, 2017 Posted October 17, 2017 I wish I could relate. But I don't have feet. There's a joke in there somewhere, I can feel it. Like the phantom feelings of my non existent feet.
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 18, 2017 Author Posted October 18, 2017 (edited) Overhearing KK talking to his 16 year old brother... KK: See, if you regularly use violence, people start just staying out of your way. Me: Yeah, that's kind of how it works. KMinion1: Really, Mama? You, too? KK: You always look to Mama like she's going to agree with you. You forget that what became [KK] had to start somewhere. Me: Yeah, kinda. KM1: Okay, already! I'll stay out of your chair. Me: For crying out loud. That doesn't mean you can beat your brother for sitting in your chair! KK: I don't beat him. I pull his hair, or sometimes, I drool on my finger and then touch the back of his neck. Me: Oh? Because you can? KK: [sheepish grin] ____________ KK: I'm the only person in the house who jumps up and turns off my timer when it's going off. Everyone else just sits there. Me: I'm trying to not care when a timer is going off. KK: Quit going all Buddhist on us! Be annoyed like regular human beings. Edited October 18, 2017 by Anarkitty 1
Kobold King he/him Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, Anarkitty said: Overhearing KK talking to his 16 year old brother... KK: See, if you regularly use violence, people start just staying out of your way. Me: Yeah, that's kind of how it works. KMinion1: Really, Mama? You, too? KK: You always look to Mama like she's going to agree with you. You forget that what became [KK] had to start somewhere. Me: Yeah, kinda. KM1: Okay, already! I'll stay out of your chair. Me: For crying out loud. That doesn't mean you can beat your brother for sitting in your chair! KK: I don't beat him. I pull his hair, or sometimes, I drool on my finger and then touch the back of his neck. Me: Oh? Because you can? KK: [sheepish grin] Thinking about it, there's probably a reason I mostly write villains in RPs. 1
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 18, 2017 Author Posted October 18, 2017 (edited) 1 minute ago, Kobold King said: Thinking about it, there's probably a reason I mostly write villains in RPs. My concern has always been why so many of the villains you create happen to be female. ETA: It's a bit odd to have a conversation online with you when you're literally sitting three feet away from me. Edited October 18, 2017 by Anarkitty 2
Kobold King he/him Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 1 minute ago, Anarkitty said: My concern has always been why so many of the villains you create happen to be female. ETA: It's a bit odd to have a conversation online with you when you're literally sitting three feet away from me. Hey, my most powerful heroes are women too. Maybe I just associate the fairer sex with ultimate power. Also, it's made odder by the fact that you do expend the effort to speak to me irl, but only to say "I just edited my post" or "I just responded to you." 2
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 18, 2017 Author Posted October 18, 2017 Just now, Kobold King said: Hey, my most powerful heroes are women too. Maybe I just associate the fairer sex with ultimate power. I can live with that. I think. I still think it's saying something about me that I might not like. I'll be sure to meditate on it later. 1 minute ago, Kobold King said: Also, it's made odder by the fact that you do expend the effort to speak to me irl, but only to say "I just edited my post" or "I just responded to you." Hey, it's called communication. I said what needed to be said. 1
+Slowswift Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Anarkitty said: You forget that what became [KK] had to start somewhere. You know we know his real name, right? 2
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 18, 2017 Author Posted October 18, 2017 10 hours ago, Slowswift said: You know we know his real name, right? Yes, but when I start typing, I fall into standard forum habits. I'll loosen up and start referring to him by his social security number. 2
The Invested Beard Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Anarkitty said: Yes, but when I start typing, I fall into standard forum habits. I'll loosen up and start referring to him by his social security number. If he has a credit card you can refer to him by that number as well. 8
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 20, 2017 Author Posted October 20, 2017 Me: [holding up a pair of men's underwear and singing a little song] I am Jared's underpants, and I do a little dance. Dance! Dance! Underpants. @Kobold King: [snatching them and trying not to grin] Why do you do this? Me: Why don't you put up your laundry? KK: This is how I just found out that I had laundry! _________ In my defense, I'm really tired right now. Woke up at 4am. Couldn't go back to sleep. Finally gave up at 6am. Went to the gym. Had a large lunch. Did a little work. Is it bedtime yet? I just looked, and there's a serious lack of yawning emoticons. In any case, that's the Jared's Underpants song. He claims he's not a big fan. Shyeah, right. 1
GeneralHZRD he/him Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 This is probably the funniest thread on this forum. Also, it's a good thing my mom doesn't know about this forum (she hasn't read any of Sanderson's books) because then i'd likely be in a similar boat as KK. This is totally the kind of thing she'd do. 1
Argent he/him Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 11 minutes ago, TheVillageIdiot said: This is probably the funniest thread on this forum. Also, it's a good thing my mom doesn't know about this forum (she hasn't read any of Sanderson's books) because then i'd likely be in a similar boat as KK. This is totally the kind of thing she'd do. Don't be selfish, get her to read! 1
GeneralHZRD he/him Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 23 hours ago, Argent said: Don't be selfish, get her to read! I would, and she enjoys reading. But she is way too busy these days. (A good busy.)
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 21, 2017 Author Posted October 21, 2017 10 hours ago, TheVillageIdiot said: I would, and she enjoys reading. But she is way too busy these days. (A good busy.) I can understand that. But when a new Stormlight Archive book comes out, I drop everything and read non-stop for 2-3 days. But your mom might not be as obsessive about things as I tend to be... And when the last WoT book was released, I wouldn't let anyone talk to me until I was finished listening to it on audio--approximately 42 hours. I just kept reminding everyone how long I'd been waiting for that book--approximately two decades. I think I started reading them before Jared was born; I'm pretty sure the first five or six books had been published when I started. And I thought the series was complete when I bought the first book at our local used book store , and I was really annoyed to find out it wasn't. (Do I need to explain what a "used book store" is, @Kobold King, to the whipper snappers? I'm having an "I feel old" moment.) Spoiler 4
Kobold King he/him Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 11 hours ago, Anarkitty said: (Do I need to explain what a "used book store" is, @Kobold King, to the whipper snappers? I'm having an "I feel old" moment.) They may be whipper snappers, but they are also intensely book-obsessed whipper snappers. They probably know. 2
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 22, 2017 Author Posted October 22, 2017 Me: Are you the one who gets annoyed when I say "eye volume"? No, wait. That's Daddy. KK: Um, what is eye volume? Me: Screen brightness. KK: I guess that works. I mean, it gets the point across... Me: See, communication! KK: ...but why can't you just say "brightness"? Me: I couldn't remember the word. ---------- Kobold Princess (age 6): I have a problem. I don't actually dream. When I go to sleep, I only see blackness. Me: You dream--everybody dreams. You just don't remember them. KK: [whispering] I had to catch myself. I was about to say, "That's what it's like when you die." Me: [smacking him] She's 6, Jared! KK: [laughing like a loon] I almost instilled a crippling fear of mortality in my 6 year old sister. ---------- Me: [groaning] Oy. I was looking for some information, and I came across this line on a forum: "I don't have any scientific evidence, but I got to thinking..." KK and two of the Minions: [groan] ---------- Kobold Minion 1: I'm gonna play a song. Let me see... Me: Play "Enter Sandman." KM1: Okay. Let me just turn the sound down. Me: What?! You don't turn Metallica DOWN. ---------- Me: I hurt my nose. KK: Ow. Me: I hit myself in the face with my barbell. I'm learning the power snatch, in case you're wondering. I'm thinking I don't have the head placement right. Ahem. I've caught my chin a couple of times, but this is the first time I've hit my nose. And my husband is annoyed because he thinks that if I continue to bruise myself while lifting weights, people who don't know us will assume he's abusing me. Note: If someone is hurting you, remember that everyone has to sleep sometime... ---------- Husband: You have stuff all over you. Me: [looking down] Ah. It's chalk and protein powder. Husband: [sighs and laughs] 1
Kobold King he/him Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 3 minutes ago, Anarkitty said: [laughing like a loon] ...it's actually kind of tempting to make this my member title. 3
GeneralHZRD he/him Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 3 hours ago, Kobold King said: ...it's actually kind of tempting to make this my member title. Do it... just do it... though I don’t know if taking advice from me is a wise idea. 14 hours ago, Anarkitty said: (Do I need to explain what a "used book store" is, @Kobold King, to the whipper snappers? I'm having an "I feel old" moment.) Oh I know exactly what a used book store is. They are some of my favorite stores. So either I’m old or you’re not old. P.S. I’m not old. 2
The Invested Beard Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 I have "I feel old" moments all the time. Then again, I'm no spring chicken so it's to be expected. 1
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 23, 2017 Author Posted October 23, 2017 2 hours ago, The Invested Beard said: I have "I feel old" moments all the time. Then again, I'm no spring chicken so it's to be expected. Yeah, but "expected" and "enjoyed" aren't quite the same thing. 1
The Invested Beard Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 4 minutes ago, Anarkitty said: Yeah, but "expected" and "enjoyed" aren't quite the same thing. I only enjoy it on the days it manifests as wisdom one of the whipper-snappers doesn't have and not the days when it's obnoxious pain from outta nowhere as your body slowly breaks down. 1
Anarkitty she/her Posted October 26, 2017 Author Posted October 26, 2017 Me: I have 200 reputation points now. I'm a... I'm not sure what I am. Is that /GI-orn/? Or /JI-orn/? Or /GE-orn/ or /JE-orn/? Perhaps the G is silent and I'm a /yorn/. KK: Maybe the G and the Y cancel each other out and you're an /orn/. You are orn-ery. ---------- KK: So, if you had an argument with you in the past, she'd automatically win because she is the bigger woman. Me: No fat jokes about me, past or present. ---------- Looking at the FB page for a local political group... KK: Why is the top picture of a cow's butt? Me: It's still Texas, son. ---------- Me: So you want to read Les Mis with us this year? KK: What's it about? Me: The miserables--that's the title. KK: Sounds depressing. Me: It's about Jean Val Jean. I don't know. I haven't read it yet. I just saw the movie. KK: Oh, yeah. It had Hugh Jackman, right? Me: [glare, because Liam Neeson, and he knows it] Anyway, we're reading it this year, and you should read it with us. You should start it, and then if you hate it, you can stop reading if you hate it since I can't compell you to... KK: [smirks] Me: ...though I could make things uncomfortable for you, but I won't because I respect that you're now an "adult"... ---------- Husband: Where are the littles? Me: They're playing outside. And since I'm about to leave and you'll be in charge of my children, I'm rather concerned that you just noticed that they were missing. Husband: I'm working. Jared's in charge. [I look at Jared. He's licking his fidget spinner; he notices me watching him and laughs. I'm not sure I'm leaving the house again until my youngest children don't need supervision anymore.] 2
Mulk he/him Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 it was Hugh Jackman in the movie as Valjean Liam Neeson can't sing anything like that. It's a hell of a story in any case. I was in high school when the musical made it big. I've seen it three times, and it blows me away each time. We performed a medley of songs from it the same year Tienanmen Square happened and let me tell you, that felt kinda spooky...
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