game Three Word Story Part 3: Doors Never Die

[PorridgeBrick he/him]

Adolin in the

Edited May 10, 2014 by PorridgeBrick

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Tarachin tournament. Hoid,

[PorridgeBrick he/him]

Irate at his loss

[A Joe in the Bush]

And his Beheading

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Enlisted the help

[Mailliw73 he/him]

of the Santhid.

[A Joe in the Bush]

Fulltext up to last Update.

One time, when a Mistborn was going to a Dragonwasp Legion meeting, he saw a grey Shardbearer in a dark alley, brutally slitting open a gigantic watermelon with a rusty Sliver of Honor. So, of course, the Mistborn burned the watermelon, lighting the Shardbearer's cape on fire, blue flames concealing it from his view.
The Shardbearer turns into a duck, ripping open the cosmere, and seeing a locked door emitting dark shine and Stormlight. The Shardbearer ran to get his Blade, tripping over duck beaks that littered the ground, breaking his neck.
The Mistborn howled at a monkey's attacks on his Mistcloak. Thrashing and struggling, he broke free, hitting the door with a llama and a koloss head, breaking it into splintery bits. The door floated down the river and ended in a black shardpool.
Meanwhile, the Shardbearer thrashed on the floor and died.
A shadowy figure hopped out of the Cognitive Realm and into the river. The Shadowy figure glowed with dark light and quietly said, "Where is Hoid?"
The Mistborn answered, "Where isn't he?"
At the same time, the Cognitive Realm was torn asunder by a massive Voidbringer. It killed many sprens that tried to intervene.
His metals spent, and his Stormlight stolen by a small green larkin, the shadowy figure, named "DARKNESS" the Evil Librarian, began building an altar out of cheese! This brilliant choice made many Epics weep with tears From the smell of their weakness.
Ookla the Mok rebuilt the door with the most evil thing possible in the Cosmere. The opposing force was a rhino cross-bred with Hoid an 16 different aspects of Odium as well as 14 of Ruin.
Unfortunately, a Shade flew in right in the middle of the giant altar, crushing the brilliant and wet kandra cheese container which exploded, spraying lemonade all over his tattered remains - hitting the large hippopotamus that was really just begging to become a Knight Radiant that bonds with Deathspren - and kills a poor, innocent chull. He [the Shade] launched it into the sky, where it grew three heads without even considering that the Heralds were notoriously unimpressed with him. Jezrien yelled, "How dare you throw a chull, you skunk eater!"At that moment, Kaladin threw his chull-sized suit, and despite the fact that Amaram already had his head shaved, Kal recognized him. He signaled to Lopen to eviscerate Amaram. Unfortunately, that was the Horneater's plan, before he became a Knight Radiant.
"I'm so confused," Amaram said, scratching the behind of his Chull. "I wanted him to narftle the Garthok!" he said, collapsing on the roof of Kredik Shaw. A nearby inquisitor - spiked with bananas - made drinks for the dinner party, who were confused about why Kelsier was late for everything. They jumped into bizarro Shadesmare. Unfortunately, bizarro Jasnah was merrily playing with a bead.
The bead was the cognitive aspect of Shai's stamp, made to reopen the dor to the Dor. Suddenly, the Dor burst through the stamp. Then the Dor opened a door. It was the invincible door that the Dor dared to defy by skipping and singing about the Dor by the Doors. So many doors flew in out of the doors that the Dor and all the doors passed by the holy tiger eating a door that had belonged to the owner of Hoid's flute. The tiger arose, spit the door with it's tail that it had stolen from an obnoxious spren named kanskjakalan that the ring had decided was too green. Because of this, he tried to form a bond with an orange tooth in the holy part of the tigers' tail, thus balancing out the tiger's tale. The circle was broken by Honor and Odium when Cultivation and Endowment went through their letter to Devotion for an appointment with the holder of Dominion and Ruin and Preservation so they could eat berries together.
Hoid heard about the shard's party and brought along his latest girlfriend. A worldhopper named Pizza. The romance was quite cheesy but also spicy, especially since Pizza cast chilly flakes in a beer, which was laced with the unknown Shard of Bavadin that poisons anyone who tries to drink less than Pizza. Dinner was free if you cast chilli Pizza into oblivion, without belching. Drinking from the unknown Shardpool which looked quite infested with rabbits which were Mistborn, with sharp pointy hat, elderly chap sticks filled with the ultimate marmalade, and flossy was caught off guard.
Suddenly a chasmfiend appeared; but, unlike normal greatshells, this one spoke Alethi which was perfectly cerulean in colour. "Hello good sir!" It said friendily. "I am the spirit guide who eats shin brains!" All the while its monocle was magnificently magnifying his honorspren. It was magnificently magnified and named Lys. The magnifiantly magnifisent honorspren magnificently sighed; "Derek won't be joining our tea party." Pizza was disappointed; tea parties were better than Radiants at killing chasmfiends and like all of Hoid’s girlfriends they were old and rotting undead dressed to kill in stolen mistcloaks awakend to dance the cosmere polka. Still, Pizza wanted.
Watch Hoid summon a dark spirit or maybe a chocolate ice cream. "How about a Large, purple, crem-filled ice-cream made of Dark spirits?" Amaram was so shocked That he summoned his polar bear To claw the faces off all Shin people who by the terrible arts of darkweaving darkwove Darness' tighty-darkies From darkest dark. However Elend objected AMRAAM started lightweaving, forming a huge Shard to autocorrect, named Cellphone. Ironically Later, Araman pondered why he needed tighty-darky wearing polar-bears at all, when Whitey-tighty wearing grizzly Patrick Rothfuss came playing the mandolin strung with gristly grizzly bear gizzards. Rothfussian cultists glared because they believed in bubbling stew and the ascending evolution of skinchangers. It was über-surprising, especially since Rothfuss ignited his beard using a mixture of ink and used chewing gum. His beard was on a shark circling the politican that you hate, smouldering cockroaches dripping from his mouth.
Engaged in conversation with humans from Roshar and Sol, Rothfussians fenestrated arboreums in conjunction with botanists defenestrating Kingkiller on Ambrose' bed. This was inconvenient because Rothfuss was watching along with busy sculpting tombstones secretly made of The bones of Handwavium. A giraffe built from Shardplate, was the pawn of a diaboloical door handle. It wanted, however, to open the forbidden door to the Door of Undying Doors to Everlasting Doordom. Inscribed there Were the Dors, bleeding rainbow Breath. "Awesome!" Lift said. She masticated helpless Puppyspren in her Wire-bound jowls, grinning wolvishly. She jumped from Kredik Shaw, slipping awesomely across awesomefounts of awesomesomeness, Even though Wyndle twisted his facefoliage in exasperation.
"You're doing it wrong!"
"No, I'm Awesome We cool bro?"
Wyndle's eyes burned with indignation. Lift poked his crystals with a spanreed whose other half was being observed by Borscht-son-Odium, the nephew of Odium. Shards families are complicated. Very complicated. Imagine a door painted rainbow, barely Covered in smaller doors, which are Coated with atium and pink tinfoil. That's Shardic family. It's very confusing. Anyway, Borscht-son-Odium grabbed a potted plant and shook out all of the little green men who were Invested by Chaos' Shard.
"Father!" they cried, “Do mom's laundry!”
 "But it glows with red stormlight!” It dripped vile putrescent drops of Ruin's saliva, Ruining Preservations perfect pompadour polluting pure puddles of Devotion and a previously undiscovered Kind of spren. It was raining blood, from a heavenly kidney, adorned with many pizzas topped with crimson blood, from a bloodied crimson kidney. This was disconcerting, as the disco beneath many moons was played backwards by a scadrian terriswoman with a metalmind made from gold plated atium Grooving to music that only people 'armless, like Lopen could see. This field of lupin was burned with Elvis the Herald who was a Splinter of Rock'nRoll and friends with Saquatch "Big" Foot, His feet weren't in the Dor because they were already invested with The Shard "Door". Light my Fire in the pants of the Highprinces. They were very strange. People are strange, in general. The hippy dragon who wore his red velvet fez made out of hollographic ice crystals.
“Help me, Obi-wan! I never learned the whatting of Trees to eating. Tongue-splinters aren't fun, though, young Padawan, shard splinters are". New Lightsaber crystals grown in wardrobes. However the force took a liking to Kaladin's big fuzzy hairdo, which was wildly floating, because 'twas Lashed to Szeth's beard braided in pigtails. Gemstones were woven into barnacle skeletons of the shardwhales that eat Horneaters' beards. The old man cometh! Beware! For he will smell like old socks of Hoid's. Pizza started brewing some Chull dung and chilli beer. It was delicious if you like Shallarin.
Meanwhile, over in Elendel, the singing shard sang the Dawnsong with Hoid and Lift, they added the kandra eyes and spren tongues. Kaladin had never been in a gargantuan night club before he met Rock and Roll, the dynamic duo from the upside-down mushrooms bar Alice managed. The two strange gentlemen there offered to teach the fellow furry, fumbling furtively with a Flamboyant feather. Fashionably, the platypus chorus wearing red feather fezi fraught with fraudulent flailing falshions, Began the dawnchant Lo! What manner is this wall with no door? For the door was eaten by a Dorbringer from the miniature gunkdom on Sel. The Union of forgers complained bitterly of being overlooked. So they forged Dalinara spike. Thus, Lift stared at cakes baked by a stormlight infused larkin named Jeremy. Jeremy's mother's roommate's cousin's uncle's daughter monkey encrusted book was dancing merrily in the mists.


 

Mab the Cook ate the book and said "Ew!". Then she vomited up the Words Of Radiance. Jealous, Kalinar Dholin swung his refunctioned shardhammer, but missed the jello statues og with his hammer. They jiggled tauntingly and giggled hauntingly , gelatin oozing provocatively from their nostrils to their chins. "What lousy aim!" Kelsier pouted vivaciously while Vins keteks made no sense to ketek loving Ryshadiums. They snorted their ryshadium loving owners out of a voltswagon beetle.The ominous portents made little more flatulence than a Windspren prancing Sadeas shining in the middle of Elantris while around it hedgehogs sang gospel, off key and with terribly off-key basoons played bybaboon Inquisitors wearing Balloons covered with brilliant blue baubles. When the old timer whittled wood while whistling 'Wind witch's wear white", the Obama cover. Jazz hands fluttered upsidedown in the Aether of Elvis when the long faced horses tapped their sodiumminds and began to change into pinstripe suits. These gangsterforms were the only Kandra that were allowed to be in Ruin's Mind Palace. Ati cackled at the idiocy of the Gangster kandra and winced atembarrassing baby photo's. Odium was furious that his eggs and green ham Were less green then grass green And more green than Awakened paint if only barely. The Pianoman laughed Like a windrunner jangling bloody ivories in the faceted gemstone piano. That particular piano was being played backwards by candlelight with flames reflecting off it's garnet strings. Seemingly impossible, yet objectively extant, It was only a thready possibility of fates tapestry. Gates, portals, and tents littered thecamp site. Broken Shards of Adonalsium forced Kaladin into dancing a jig to the music twinkled brightly amidst sentient snowmen who Twisted their carrots and waved their gnarled oaken arms. There was little purchase on the bloody piano flutes, mostly because Lift munching on soul-biscuits moon-walked her way into Jelloville Mansion. She fist bumped Rothfuss's manly beard with awesomely manly toenails. The beard contained powerful magics of Sympathy distilled into its essence and flatulated exuberantly by the order of the Edamnation. "Who left the Soulstamps alone with the disoriented Larkins? I mean really!" Makal sniffed at the baking scones that Roshone had laced with sharddust. Then he flipped the pancakes that tasted of winter wind and summer onto heated plates seething with mordite . Spirit eagerly grabbed the unholy recipe for Shardsocks and Shardmittens. Bloodred orchidsTrilled melancholically beneath An orange coat of downy feathers. The larkin lurked holding the of Survival, which didn't survive intact. The dead survival-splinters allied with the bass playing who would soon reign musical thunder for they were Dalinars House band. However Sadeas´ band played punk Rock and Handel in a mystical trio., Ska and Rocksteady formed a magicsystemon the upbeat of their music ended suddenly forever....or did it? The silence caught the doctor's tardis in a web stickier than a...fully lashed wall. "This isn't right..." Lift, it's left to us to save the Lifeless squirrel armies from Lemmingesque behaviour but how can we without Pizza metabolize the needed stormlight? Meanwhile behind the bike sheds its spren, which, being a passsiveaggressivespren, was totally jerkish towards the kindness-spren. The Radiants were dancing and singing in hula skirts, confounding Odium with wove, true wove while the bike transformed into a Rotting Chull Carcass. Meanwhile, the Cremling ran into the tree of Origin. "Stupid Life Tree!" the Cremling said. The tree summoned a Tiny firebringer. it was measured at one millimeter and 13 micron. The tiny firebringer brought fire. Huzzah! But the cremling was flame resistant. Unlike the tree which burned down. Then a Goat flare Pewter. The goat teleported Tacos into the shattered icebergs of Western Universities. Pizza froze Solid, but some quickly melting sausages melted her heart. But then mistborn-llamas spat luminecent bile onto the Goat.

"I am Stick" Said Stick Proudly "No. Fire is your current Form." "I'm not Stick?" "You're not Stick, but a Firebringer" "I am a Firebringer? How strange? I'm not a Silly Stick anymore?" Don't worry my Precious. I'll make them pay dearly for their Treason. But just the, fire burned stick and no ash shrieked in pain. So Shallan changed Fire into rock, shaved quite fabulously Tozbek's Thaylen eyebrows, which are Luxurious Burst into flames of Pink Colouration. Then Brandon Snaderson wrote 1000 books about Stick. It was the Weirdest and lamest of his book series. So he burned the stick to make the room look less like Dyring's Inn. But it failed Woefully. The Stick Reappeared, consumed a Greatshell and turned Evil. Lord Evil Stick died Traggiccly from being Soulcast by her Imperial Empress, Lift of the Moon. Lift then Collapsed, but was lifted metaphorically; Literally however, she was held down by Shiny, the Awakened Lamp, who Slapped her. "Chaos is Here!" He backslapped everyone. "ouch " They cried. "Please don't Eat!" But Chaos ate every living Soul in his Sole. the Sole SOul was cobbled by Ym, Master Cobbler. He also bakes Darkness into Pie. But Bakery's sin and Cobbler. Nale really likes Nails and delicious pies and Tea-parties. With his Skybreakers. The almighty didn't like Tea parties. Tea yes, parties also yes, but Tea parties, No. Poor Tea parties.The TeapartySpren were devasted, Inconsolable, Distraught, so they jumped into the Shardpool and became Pandaspren. But Relane ate Kung pow Chickenand gained Awesomness.

Lift was Jealous; Wyndle didn't care, and Syl was put in Detension for speaking out about Wyndle. Outraged, they dinosaured away, hitting aThunderclast with rusty shardforks and Crusty Shardbaguettes served on Plardshates with Purelake Halibut Hoid's dismembered head was used for a Tarachin ball. HOid toosed around His own head and Lightsong beat Adolin in the Tarachin Tournament.Hoid, irate at his loss, and his beheading, enlisted the help of the Santhid

 

Summary of Story so Far

      A mistborn runs into a Shardbearer, they fight, and find a glowing Door. They break the door, and it falls into a Black Shardpool. The Shardbearer dies. A figure appears, looking for Hoid, but Shadesmar Breaks, and Darkness the Evil Librian builds a Cheesy Altar.  Ookla the Mok rebuilds the Door using the 16 aspects of Odium and 14 of Ruin. Then a Shade breaks the Altar, and kills a KR Hippo as well as a Chull. the Shade grows 3 heads, and the Heralds get mad at him.

[scene Change]

       Kaladin Throws off his Chull suit, and recognizes the Shaved Amaram. So he tells Lopen to eviserate him, but that was Rock'sPlan all along. Amaram gets confused, and an Inquisiotr serves Dinner. Then they Jump into Bizzaro Shadesmar. but then they find a Bead that Reopens the Door.

to reopen the dor to the Dor. Suddenly, the Dor burst through the stamp. Then the Dor opened a door. It was the invincible door that the Dor dared to defy by skipping and singing about the Dor by the Doors. So many doors flew in out of the doors that the Dor and all the doors passed by the holy tiger eating a door that had belonged to the owner of Hoid's flute.

The Tiger attempts to bond a KajakaSpren, and makes a Circle. Honor and Odium break the circle, while Cultivation and Endowenment Write a Letter to the Shardholders of Ruin, Preservation and Domion. They eat berries together. Hoid and his Girlfriend, Pizza, Crash the Party. Pizza was a Worldhopper thathad been spiked with Bavadin. They all drank from an Unknown Shardpool, which summoned a friendly chasmfiend. "I eat Shin Brains, But derek won't be attending our Tea Party. Pizza was dissapointed because Tea parties could kill KR better than Chasm fiends. So hoid summoned a Large, purple, crem-filled ice-cream made of Dark spirits, which Shocked Amaram. So he summoned his Polar bear to rip off the Faces of the Shin. But Elend Objected, so Amaram Lightwove.

 

      Later on, Amaram wondered why he even needed Polarbears wearing Darkie-tighties when a Whitie Tighty wearing Patrick Rothfuss came in playing a Mandola strung with Bear innards. Rothfussian Cultists set His Beard alight. His beard became a Shark circling the Poloticion that you hate. (I can't make sense of the next Paragraph, it doesn't even form Sentences.) Then A giraffe built from Shardplate, was opened the forbidden door to the Door of Undying Doors to Everlasting Doordom. Then Lift ate some puppies and poked Wyndle with Brandon's Shardpen. Then a Shard shows up.

Borscht-son-Odium, the nephew of Odium. Shards families are complicated. Very complicated. Imagine a door painted rainbow, barely Covered in smaller doors, which are Coated with atium and pink tinfoil. That's Shardic family. It's very confusing.

So Borscht Shook out a Potted plant, revealing tiny green men who told Chaos to do Mother's Laundry. But mother's Laundry was raining Blood and Red Stormlight. This was Disconcerting, so the Terriswoman danced beneath the Moon. Along with Elvis the Herald and Sasquatch "Big "Foot.

 

     People are Strange. The Hippy Dragon pulled out His Holographic Ice Cube, which said, "Help me Obiwan-Kenobi! I never learned to eat trees!" However, the Force liked Kaladins Hair because it was lashed to Szeth's Beard. Then Pizza (Hoid's Girlfriend) started brewing up some Chull dung. It was delicious, ifyou ship Shallarin. Meanwhile, in Elendel, Hoid lift and the Dawn Shard sang the Dawnsong. Kaladin met Rock and roll and Alice. Then a Larkin named Jeremy Baked cakes for Lift.

 

(Okay, It's taken me an hour to summarize this much. I'll edit the Rest on Later, for now, Have my 3 words)

 

But the epics

Edited May 10, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Edgedancer he/him]

conquered Roshars´s ocean.

[Satsuoni he/him]

Twisted aberrations, they

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

were vanquished by

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

An angry Shin/Panda

[Mailliw73 he/him]

who ate Shards

[Swimmingly he/him]

like extroverted candy

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Covered Lerasium bread

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

with Atium cheese

[Mailliw73 he/him]

And Swallowed it

Edited May 12, 2014 by Mailliw73

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

exploding into rainbows

[Swimmingly he/him]

, pandas tumbling down

[PorridgeBrick he/him]

From the heavens

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Into Odium's mouth.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Who then says

[Curiosity he/him]

"Rutabaga! What they

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Are doing is

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Unacceptable! Pandas are

[A Joe in the Bush]

Not Canon! So