Still Having a Bad Day? Exchange Your Rants For Hugs Here!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I feel like a loser asking this but....can you please tell me why I'm not going to fail at life?

The people I usually rely on for emotional support are offering practical advice instead, and then getting angry when I don't react well.

Thanks for the hugs.

 

Because you're aware enough to realize that giving you advice instead of support isn't something a good support network does. Like Jesus said, "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will you give him a snake?" You, metaphorically speaking, asked for bread and got a stone, and now they're all mad at you because you pointed out that it wasn't what you asked for. 

 

I'm new at this adulting thing, but I know that giving advice instead of support isn't a nice thing to do. You know this, and some people make it into their forties before they realize it, and others never learn. 

 

They say that nice guys finish last, but They are a bunch of chulls. Nice people are the ones the world cheers for. I have more evidence for your niceness, but in the interest of keeping this post short, I'll just say that when it comes to treating people right, you're ahead of the curve. You'll do fine. 

[Haelbarde he/him]

Hugs, anyone?

*Belated hugs*

 

I feel like a loser asking this but....can you please tell me why I'm not going to fail at life?

Disclaimer: Words/encourgement isn't my strongest suit.

Because you're humble enough to admit that you might not have answers right now, and are able to reach out to ask for help. Because you're trying, and that is the most important thing. You'll only ever truly fail if you stop trying. To quote Alfred Pennyworth, 'Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.' Life is going to have its ups and downs. Sometimes things might work out. Other times it might not. The thing is to keep trying, especially when things are looking down.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"You're telling me that you didn't like what I did? That it made you feel like I was treating you like you couldn't remember one simple thing? YOU'RE TRYING TO MANIPULATE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!111!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!" —my sister

 

She spent years as Mom's favorite, and now she's taken on all of her worst attitudes about conflict. But say that, and you get an earful that sounds like it came straight from Mom's mouth. And they wonder why I don't want to live in the same state. 

[+Slowswift]

As an absurdly self-conscious 15-year-old, I spend a lot of time worrying about what people think of me.

Despite the fact that I know others' opinion really has no bearing on my future success, I still feel the angst.

I'd like to get an idea of what impression my behavior leaves on people. As such, I would like to request for those willing to elaborate upon what opinions you developed of me upon contact with my posts.

 

...same, actually.

 

Given how I relate to this, might I ask the same?

 

Anyways, Mr. Incomprehensible, I've always thought you're awesome. No bad impressions from you!

 

"You're telling me that you didn't like what I did? That it made you feel like I was treating you like you couldn't remember one simple thing? YOU'RE TRYING TO MANIPULATE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!111!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!" —my sister

 

She spent years as Mom's favorite, and now she's taken on all of her worst attitudes about conflict. But say that, and you get an earful that sounds like it came straight from Mom's mouth. And they wonder why I don't want to live in the same state. 

 

Best wishes and Godspeed.

Edited November 29, 2015 by Ookla the Ineffable

[Kobold King he/him]

As an absurdly self-conscious 15-year-old, I spend a lot of time worrying about what people think of me.

Despite the fact that I know others' opinion really has no bearing on my future success, I still feel the angst.

I'd like to get an idea of what impression my behavior leaves on people. As such, I would like to request for those willing to elaborate upon what opinions you developed of me upon contact with my posts.

 

 

Enthusiastic. Curious. Eager to learn and understand. Very creative and well-spoken.

 

One minor flaw: too anxious about other's opinions of you. Suggested cure: walk around town in a pink My Little Pony t-shirt. Whether you're a fan of the show or not, it'll teach you the vital life skill of not caring a fig what others think of you.

 

 

"You're telling me that you didn't like what I did? That it made you feel like I was treating you like you couldn't remember one simple thing? YOU'RE TRYING TO MANIPULATE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!111!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!" —my sister

 

She spent years as Mom's favorite, and now she's taken on all of her worst attitudes about conflict. But say that, and you get an earful that sounds like it came straight from Mom's mouth.   And they wonder why I don't want to live in the same state. 

 

I'm sorry. What triggered this conflict, if I might ask?

[+Slowswift]

Enthusiastic. Curious. Eager to learn and understand. Very creative and well-spoken.

 

One minor flaw: too anxious about other's opinions of you. Suggested cure: walk around town in a pink My Little Pony t-shirt. Whether you're a fan of the show or not, it'll teach you the vital life skill of not caring a fig what others think of you.

 

Listen to the man. His advice, this thing is excellent.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

As an absurdly self-conscious 15-year-old, I spend a lot of time worrying about what people think of me.

Despite the fact that I know others' opinion really has no bearing on my future success, I still feel the angst.

I'd like to get an idea of what impression my behavior leaves on people. As such, I would like to request for those willing to elaborate upon what opinions you developed of me upon contact with my posts.

 

I haven't gotten any bad vibes from you.

 

Best wishes and Godspeed.

 

Thanks. 

 

 

I'm sorry. What triggered this conflict, if I might ask?

 

She made dinner, and asked me to vacuum the kitchen afterward. It's kind of an agreement that when one of us kids makes dinner, the others clean up, so no big deal there. Anyway, we watched a movie, and she asked me no less than three times to vacuum. I got it the first two times she said it, but I wasn't upset. And then, when the movie was over, she got the vacuum out for me, which felt like she was saying "I don't think you'll remember to do it if I don't leave it out where you're sure to see it." Having seen her bossy streak firsthand, I know this interpretation wasn't entirely without merit, so I fumed while I vacuumed. When I saw her again, I said "Hey, next time you ask me to vacuum, you don't have to get the vacuum out for me. I'll do it." To that, she gave a very defensive "I was trying to help you!" I wound up shouting "When people tell you their feelings, they're not trying to manipulate you!" up the stairs after her, but I don't think she took it well. If she heard it at all. 

Edited November 29, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Guest]

As an absurdly self-conscious 15-year-old, I spend a lot of time worrying about what people think of me.

Despite the fact that I know others' opinion really has no bearing on my future success, I still feel the angst.

I'd like to get an idea of what impression my behavior leaves on people. As such, I would like to request for those willing to elaborate upon what opinions you developed of me upon contact with my posts.

 

You know, despite being many years older than you, I am still self-conscious about what people think of me. I am not sure this ever goes away, but I can assure you it eventually becomes more of an annoyance than a crippling factor.

 

The sad truth is most people are probably too busy with their own life or too wrap up in their own problems to spend much time wondering about you or your behavior. I wish someone had told me that all those years ago. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You know, despite being many years older than you, I am still self-conscious about what people think of me. I am not sure this ever goes away, but I can assure you it eventually becomes more of an annoyance than a crippling factor.

 

The sad truth is most people are probably too busy with their own life or too wrap up in their own problems to spend much time wondering about you or your behavior. I wish someone had told me that all those years ago. 

 

You know the difference between being an awkward loner and being a cool trendsetter? Confidence. If Kurt Cobain had dressed the way he dressed with his head tucked down and a sheepish grin on his face, he would've been mocked for his questionable style choices. But he wasn't sheepish. He owned those baggy shirts and torn jeans, and he started a trend that lasted a decade. 

 

For a more recent example, here's a scene from Mean Girls. 

 

 

Regina is definitely not a good role model in any other area, but she does demonstrate an important principle: Had she freaked out the way Janice and Cady hoped, she would've lost major popularity points. But by wearing that cut-up t-shirt with pride, she started a trend. 

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Edit: moved to random stuff

Edited November 29, 2015 by Ookla the pony

[Guest]

You know the difference between being an awkward loner and being a cool trendsetter? Confidence. If Kurt Cobain had dressed the way he dressed with his head tucked down and a sheepish grin on his face, he would've been mocked for his questionable style choices. But he wasn't sheepish. He owned those baggy shirts and torn jeans, and he started a trend that lasted a decade. 

 

For a more recent example, here's a scene from Mean Girls. 

 

 

Regina is definitely not a good role model in any other area, but she does demonstrate an important principle: Had she freaked out the way Janice and Cady hoped, she would've lost major popularity points. But by wearing that cut-up t-shirt with pride, she started a trend. 

 

I can't disagree with that  , though I'd say Kurt Cobain's popularity was mostly launched when he "conveniently" committed suicide in 1994   As soon as news of his death invaded Musique Plus/Much Music/MTV, an entire generation bought Curt Cobain posters and stripped shirts. I'd also say the entire nineties were geared towards promoting unhealthy life choices such as drugs and suicide  Greasy hair were the least of it 

 

However, having enough confidence to brave popular opinion at 15 years old is quite hard to do, so I sympathize with the motion. When I was a teenager I wondered what people thought of my clothes, my hair, what I had just said, did I use the right words and all sort of superficiality. Now I wonder more if I deserve this promotion I keep ranting about, if my work is truly good enough, if I know enough to take over this project or if my colleagues think I am doing a decent job... but I certainly don't wonder what they think about what I wear... That one is dead and gone   

[Voidus]

So I'm an idiot because I forgot to get another script for my painkillers and now I'm out. We also just had to pay to get the car fixed so I don't even know when I can afford to go to the doctors again.   
Which means now I'm just sitting here watching the clock and waiting for the inevitable sensation of having my eye ripped from my skull and being replaced with every sharp thing in existence.

[Guest]

So I'm an idiot because I forgot to get another script for my painkillers and now I'm out. We also just had to pay to get the car fixed so I don't even know when I can afford to go to the doctors again.   

Which means now I'm just sitting here watching the clock and waiting for the inevitable sensation of having my eye ripped from my skull and being replaced with every sharp thing in existence.

 

You have to pay to see the doctor to get you pills prescription????     

[Delightful]

So I'm an idiot because I forgot to get another script for my painkillers and now I'm out. We also just had to pay to get the car fixed so I don't even know when I can afford to go to the doctors again.

Which means now I'm just sitting here watching the clock and waiting for the inevitable sensation of having my eye ripped from my skull and being replaced with every sharp thing in existence.

.......but you're Australian. Don't you get Medicare? Why isn't the government paying for your dr?

[feel free to not reply if that's too personal]

[Voidus]

Literally no money right now, not enough for the gap or for petrol.

[Delightful]

I'm so so sorry.

Tony: but of course we can charge an extra $7 to everyone!

Is there anyone around who can help you?

[Voidus]

Ow.

[+Slowswift]

Just leaving this here, for anyone who needs it.

[Delightful]

Ow.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Reason #127 to get out of this house: 

 

Family goes to church. I stay home sick. Mom gives me list of chores to do while I'm at home. I send brother a text: "Did you guys already go to lunch?" 

 

Response: "Yeah, we did. Figured you were resting and didn't want to wake you up." 

 

Translation: "Mom and Dad thought you were faking to get out of going to church, so we didn't even get you takeout." 

[Delightful]

Reason #127 to get out of this house:

Family goes to church. I stay home sick. Mom gives me list of chores to do while I'm at home. I send brother a text: "Did you guys already go to lunch?"

Response: "Yeah, we did. Figured you were resting and didn't want to wake you up."

Translation: "Mom and Dad thought you were faking to get out of going to church, so we didn't even get you takeout."

They didn't bring you food? D:

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

They didn't bring you food? D:

 

If they were going to, they would've texted me and asked me what I wanted from whatever restaurant they'd gone to. But since they already went to lunch, I'm assuming that means no food for me.

 

You're not making me any more enthusiastic about moving to the Northwest, guys….

Edited November 29, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Delightful]

Thanks for your input, all.

I'm a bit strange in that I'm willing to brave popular opinion by expressing ideas that aren't generally held in my community (only when asked and in an unassuming manner) or behaving in ways that aren't stereotypically cool (e.g : significant involvement in class discussion, using direct communication strategies), I still feel the angst.

I'm let myself be myself, but I have to fight shame of who I am, nonetheless.

Work on loving yourself.

Ie, you're happy to be different. What about those differences do you like?

And yeah. The angst gets better. It takes a while but it does.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Work on loving yourself.

Ie, you're happy to be different. What about those differences do you like?

And yeah. The angst gets better. It takes a while but it does.

Definitely. Listening to angsty music helps too. Simple Plan had some teen angst classics like "Welcome to My Life" and "I'm Just a Kid."

[+Slowswift]

Imagine Dragons is super angsty sometimes, if you want something a little more mainstream.